what if HE'S there?

Question

i'm going to see my aunt kathy over thanksgiving in alabama and i was wondering what would happen if my dad was there? if you have read my other question you should know the story..i wouldnt want him to ask me a MILLION questions because he could've called me and asked me HISELF!! he can say hi to me BUT i dont want to get in a conversation with him just yet.. i'm not ready to talk to him like a dad or a friend...or do i need to talk to him even if i dont want to ?? i would like coments from both guys AND girls

Answer 1

Maybe it would be a good way to break the ice if you 2 just saw eachother at a social gathering with other people there. That way you not only don't have to talk to eachother but it wouldn't be appropriate for you both to get into a heavy conversation there. I don't know your story but I sense your pain and refection. Take it slow. Life is short. Who knows, someday he may be gone and you may be thankful you did.

Answer 2

It's sad but true alot of false accusations are said in divorces when custody of children is involved. Your dad may not be contacting you because he is ashamed of his actions and don't know how to approach you. how to apologize or maybe you have made yourself unapproachable. You have to ask yourself what you want----a life with your dad included or without him. I feel that Thanksgiving dinner isn't the time nor the place for a private conversation and I would tell your dad this if he tries to talk to you about it. I would not ignore him. I would tell him dad let's celebrate today and we can get together another time where we can have the privacy we need to work through our problems. Don't by any means ignore him or start an arguement as it will ruin the celebration for everyone else. I would take him aside and say dad we need to talk but not here today. Too many times our foolish pride gets in the way when we wait for someone to say we are sorry and precious time is lost. Does it really matter who approaches who as long as the problem is fixed. So many times people focus on who is in the wrong instead of what to do to fix the problem.

Answer 3

i would act like nothing has happened. talk to him, be your happy self - but sometime during your conversation with him, ask HIM questions - why didn't you call, to see how i was? ask the questions that have been in your heart about him. be direct with him, make sure he answers YOUR question - and if he doesn't ask him again, letting him know that you are not understanding him. by you asking the questions of him, he cannot have much time asking questions of you and you'll probably get to know a lot more about your dad. i hope you find it's all good and not all the bad you are feeling about him. good luck. enjoy Thanksgiving and don't be nervous - RELAX - and make it fun.

Answer 4

I do not know the story but generally you do not want to burn a bridge that is trying to be rebuilt. You don't have to be affectionate but you do have to show some love and respect. If you are not ready to have a full conversation, a "Hi dad how was your trip" should suffice.

Answer 5

Keep the conversation on him.When he ask you a question that you do not want to answer than tell him you are not comfortable talking about it or turn the conversation around to him.Try and keep yourself busy with others but try to always be nice that way he will not be offened.

Answer 6

Just tell him exactly what you told us, that sounds reasonable. You don't owe your father anything so don't feel guilty about not wanting to have this huge conversation with him. Make him earn it. Good-luck and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Answer 7

Good time for you both to have a chat and be honest with each other . let the feelings out and bury the hatchet.
Not talking to each other will never solve the problems between you and your father. If you feel he is wrong discuss it not argue ot or hide it.
time to let your feelings be known.
only putting it off never solves anything.

Answer 8

I would give it time and if he comes up to you just walk the other way until he gets the idea that you just dont want to talk to you GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

rise above it , be yourself and play it by ear!