My family lives overseas and I live with my husband in a one bedroom, really small apartment in NYC. My parents like to visit but they do not ask me if it is ok or not and sometimes that is difficult for me, but in the past has somehow work out. Any way, the issue is that my parents want to visit me next April, I said let's
see what happens. Now, I am pregnant, due in April, and my husband and I are moving out at the end of June. I need to help him moving and we need to disoccupy our attic before I get too big. Therefore, my apartment will be a mess, the living room (where my parents sleep in a futon when they have visited us) will be full of boxes. Plus: the newborn will need space, and my time. My parents are sensitive and authoritarians, but I need to be comfortable with all the new changes of being a new mom plus moving. I dont want this situation to create problems with my husband,he is not as patient as I am. I want to avoid a family quarrel. They can visit after we move out
2006-11-20 02:35:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
This is a specail time for you. you deserve to have things the way you want them too. simply tell them that you think it best if they wait to visit till after you move or they can stay in a hotel near by. tell them that there simply wont be room with you three and all the boxes in the living room. just tell them they are welcome to come and you hope they do. but there just won't be room for everyone in the apartment. just say it like you really wish they could come and you are sad that things won't work out. that way they know that you really do want them there and they don't feel uninvited. good luck and congrats on the baby.
2006-11-20 02:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you are coming from. I think your parents mean well, but you have to try and communicate to them that their visit at this time would not be convenient to you and your husband.
Ask them if they could come after you move that way you will have more space and can accommodate them better and you could also throw in that you want them to spend time with the new baby and them being there when you are moving is going to be a little hard for that.
Good Luck because some parents just can't take a hint when you are trying to be nice
2006-11-20 02:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by ME 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start telling them now that things will change with the baby. Tell them now they will need to get a hotel room. It may feel rude and blunt to you, but it's better than letting them get here and then telling them. They will have to understand that now you will be a family with your baby and your husband, and they will have to come first now. I would suggest that if they don't want to pay for a hotel, then they can come after you move so you can get settled in first. Also, if they insist on coming in April still, I would tell them that they could only come if you called to say it was okay. The first few weeks with your child are hard enough, without having to cater to your parents.
Also, about your husband being patient, these aren't his parents, so it's harder for him to put up with. Also, if your parents want to quarrel about it, that's their problem. They should understand and respect that you want this time with your child and husband. I hope it all works out for you!
2006-11-20 02:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by weezerundy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say see if they would like to stay in a hotel, or else (sorry) deal with it! We moved (a 140 mile move) with a newborn and had BOTH sets of parents (and my husband's younger step siblings who are 12 and 14) in our very small apartment for a whole weekend. We lived! It was nice actually to have the extra help and hands around. Family is family, I just don't see them as an inconvience at any time, especially when you don't see them often. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 03:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone else had great answers already, I agree with them, but I also thought of another idea that might work:
Why don't you pick out a really nice hotel somewhat near you that has great things to do (shopping, spa, pools, etc) and rent two rooms - one for you and hubby, the other for your parents. Do this before you have your baby. It'll be an outing together, without the stress of being at home, cleaning, etc. Take yourself and your mom to the spa and relax, you'll need all the relaxation you can get before baby comes! Good luck :)
2006-11-20 03:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book them into a inexpensive hotel room close by. You will find while moving that it would be great to have them around to help care for the little one. Or ask them to change their visit to another time.
2006-11-20 10:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them to visit after you move out.
2006-11-20 03:09:37 · answer #7 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are your parents, but then again it's your apartment and you need to tell them up front what is happening, even if they don't like it, you are a grown woman and they need to understand.
2006-11-20 02:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by JENNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you book them a hotel room and explain that there just won't be anywhere for them to sleep.
2006-11-20 02:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD STOP THEM FROM VISITING, THEY WOULD BE VERY UPSET,AFTER ALL ITS THERE GRAN-CHILD. PLUS THEY CAN HELP YOU,JUST EXPLAIN TO THEM YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, I AM SURE IT WILL BE FINE. AND DO NOT LET YOUR HUSBAND PUSH YOU AROUND.
2006-11-20 03:11:37 · answer #10 · answered by aunty m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋