I feel bad now and stupid for asking but i just wanted to know. I asked him if he gave his other lovers oral sex,and if they used protection. Did i do the right thing or should'nt i have said anything?
2006-11-20 02:00:45 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You did the right thing! I did the same thing! If you are planning to sleep with this guy you need to know these things! If he got upset with you over that then he is not the one for you! He should totally understand where you are coming from!!!
2006-11-20 02:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. if you're sleeping with him now, you do have a right to know about his past sexual encounters- obviously not in detail, but just an idea of things. The only reason you should be worried about it, is in terms of your sexual health. If you asked to satisfy your curiosity then some might say that you were wrong. I wouldn't though.
Isn't being open about the past a part of any relationship?Just make sure you use some tact when asking such questions! You should ask him how he feels about you asking these questions though. And if Don't feel bad whatever you do!
2006-11-20 02:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by sassedangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of relationship you are in.
If you are a person who asks, then thinks about it for a long time, you should resist asking such questions, but if you are a person that could "forget" your boyfriend's past sexual experiences, why not.
But if you are in a relationship for not a long time, you should only ask questions about the protection and stuff... After some time, its right to ask for further details...
But anyway, you did ask him already... Personally, I am a very curious person and I dont think there is anything wrong about it. If you trust your boyfriend and he trusts you, then its right to tell each other things... But again, sometimes its better not to ask for too much detail. And also, you can just tell him to show you all those things and he might say he enjoys it more with you :)
2006-11-20 02:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by Maria 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to know what he likes and how he enjoys it most - if he is any good, he will move on & not hold anything to worry about against you after that conversation.
But on the other hand, you do not benefit at all from knowing who his ex is (I am glad I don't know this of my wife).
If you crave oral sex, then hint with your hands in intimate moments - and if he does not get the hint, you might need to have a talk the following day as you might not be that compatible. Do not make a habit of demanding things you want rather than offering things HE likes. It is natural to expect oral if you give oral.
And do not ask people if they use protection (nor anything else that encourages people to lie) - after one year as a couple you will know if your relationship is long-term & unprotectable from then on.
2006-11-20 02:48:24 · answer #4 · answered by Wise Kai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel like you were wrong at all. You really do have a right to know especially if you are sleeping with him because technically you are sleeping with everyone he has slept with, catch my drift? So don't feel bad for asking such an important question. If he gets defensive though I wouldnt freak because some people (me being one of them) like to keep those personal details to themselves and that is also their right.
2006-11-20 02:11:34 · answer #5 · answered by merryker54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were right to ask but as everyone else has said do not dwell on it, you dont wanna get into the sit of who was better what was it like it wont make u feel any better believe me! Its not a nice conv to have but i think it has to be had!
Just try not to think about it and dont use your past sexual experiences as ammunition in a row!! (just a little tit bit of advice)
2006-11-20 02:13:15 · answer #6 · answered by hopper13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late now to dwell on it. My bf told me about his past and the unfortunate thing is that the answers will play on your mind. You should try to forget about it. It's always good to know your partners sexual history (as in how many people he has slept with and if he was safe) for your own safety, but when it gets into too much detail you should really stop the conversation because believe me you don't want to know.
2006-11-20 02:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by Princesspoison 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u did the right thing. that is a responsible type of question. you now know what he may or may not have and what you could have the potential for getting. it is better to be open rather than finding out later the wrong way.
2006-11-20 02:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not wrong, but be prepared to hear stuff you probably didn't want to hear. If you start getting mad at things he did in the past, he's not going to tell you the truth anymore.
2006-11-20 02:46:31 · answer #9 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There no harm in asking if you can deal with the insecurity or jealousy of knowing who else your bf's been with, but as long as you trust him and he doesn't go on & on about how great his exes were there's no problem.
2006-11-20 02:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by green cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋