Ok....we are both completely fine now on every other part. We had gotten in to some serious fights and finally broke up, but still had tremendous feelings for each other...but we just needed to straighten things out and start over(which we did now) but during that time I stayed true to what i was feeling and didn't do anything with other girls...Her on the other hand ended up getting a boyfriend for a few weeks and doing some things with him physically. She just says that she was so confused and hurt and I will never understand why she did it, but she fully regrets everything. Personally it really hurts me to hear those things and I really just can't comprehend why.... How do I approach this and try to understand? Should I be angry and hurt? What are others opinions? Any advice to get over this?
2006-11-20 01:43:47 · 7 answers · asked by C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If the two of you were broke up at the time, there is no need to question her activities. If you are really starting over, focus on the future, not the past.
2006-11-20 01:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by godhainder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody fight in a relationship - even the best relationship with the strongest bond must endure a fight now and again. When fighting you must take care not to say something you will regret for the rest of your relationship - when it is said, it can not be taken back. Always fight fairly and never drag history into a fight. On your problem that your girlfriend got a boyfriend after you broke up - you will know best which of the answers below is acceptable.
1. If a girlfriend/wife cheated on you once, she will do it again, even after marriage, every time you have a big fight - get rid of her as soon as possible. In this case you were not attached any more - so was she cheating ? - or was the other guy an opportunist who prey on girls who are emotionally distressed - you decide.
2. You must make a decision that you want this girl as you girlfriend/future wife or not. If not - say goodbye. If yes - forget what happened and stick with her "for better or for worse" and forever.
In your journey of life, you will find a person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. If it happen to you once, you are lucky. Very rarely will you find such a person twice. Usually what you think are the second time around, is actually somebody who reminds you of the first.
2006-11-20 10:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by Francois J V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't be angry or hurt. It was during a break. Think about what she was probably feeling- hurt and lost. .. the fastest way to get over someone? Sex with a random stranger... going out, and flirting like crazy to be reminded you're attractive and wanted. If this is something you cannot get over, do not get back together with her. My advice, just don't think about it. Think about her and why you want to be with her. Think about the here and now, what you guys had before... almost lost.... and now have a second chance at. Appreciate that... and let it go. Past is past is past and she says she regrets it.
2006-11-20 09:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand this completely. I dated a guy for 3 years and we decided we needed time apart because we just needed to get back in touch with ourselves. In the mean time he ended up getting back with one of his ex girlfriends and after he got sick of her, he tried coming back to me. I personally think that sure, everyone deserves a 2nd chance. But I also very strongly believe that when you break up with someone, you do it for a reason. In life you shouldn't go back, you should keep moving forward. And I know you must feel very very strongly for eachother (I dealt with that as well) but sometimes moving on is the better option. When I found out a that my ex had slept with another girl, I was never able to get over it and I ended up being angry with him a lot and not looking at him the same way. Even though it might seem hopeless right now, nothing is ever hopeless. I thought I would never move on from my ex and don't get me wrong, I was upset for quite some time, but I dealt with it day by day and now I am currently with the love of my life who treats me 10 times better and is just the better match for me. It's all your personal judgement really, good luck :)
2006-11-20 09:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by merryker54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look here baby doll, i can understand why you would be hurt! i know how much it hurts to go throught a break like that and find some stuff out after you get back together with the person! but honestly you shouldn't be angry because she came back to YOU, right? haha and you just have to trust her that she is sorry and was confused! that's what she needs from you...your trust! so tell her that she can stop worrying because you trust her and although you are hurt by what she did your not gonna let it come between you guys! thats the gentlemenly thing to do!
2006-11-20 09:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by sarah gangsta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had tremendous feelings for you after you broke up she would have never done the things with the other guy. but if you are happy with her then it will take time for the wound to heal on your part. it can be forgiven but never forgotten.
2006-11-20 09:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by First L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...you're going to be hurt about it, it's normal. You might even be a little jelous about it. but everybody goes through it...i have. you just gotta trust her when she says she has feelings for you. And if you don't trust her, then ask her about it. if she likes you like she says she does, then it wouldn't mater if you asked.
:-P
2006-11-20 09:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋