Atheist, How have you found to be the best way to deal with a close family members death???

Answer 1

Accept it, go to the funeral, and move on.

Death is natural, inevitable, and permanent. No amount of crying or praying or pleading for the loved one to return, to not be dead, will bring them back.

It probably sounds cold, but, it's unfortunately reality. I do cry, though I prefer to cry alone. Being around huge groups of people all trying to be huggy unnerves me. I know they mean well, but I don't like people trying to comfort me or stare at me like "poor thing". I like to be left alone to mourn when I lose someone.

I lost my grandmother last October. I cried when I found out and I cried through most if not all of the funeral. But I didn't mope and spend days and weeks doing nothing because my gram, she was pretty down to Earth and would have likely kicked my butt for crying over her more than necessary.

Best way to deal with death is to accept it for me. I heal from the loss faster by doing so and knowing that it's unavoidable. I accept, I mourn, and move on. I remember those I've lost. Remember those that are gone and they'll never be far from your heart. :)

Answer 2

I'm not an atheist, but I can tell you as a Christian that even having faith doesn't ease the pain sometimes.

I lost my grandmother several months ago - an amazing woman who made my life wonderful for 40 years.

I miss her everyday. I still cry about losing her.

You haven't gotten many responses (maybe by the time I'm done with this, you will have lol), so I'll just share some of the things that have helped me.

I talk about her to my kids and my friends. I keep some of her things out where I can see them often. Over time, I have focused less on the way she died (cancer) and more on the way she lived.

And I know that the best I can do is move my life forward, caring for my children, my husband and myself as though she were still here. Because I know she wouldn't want me in pain all the time.

It gets easier over time. It really does. I'm sorry if you've had a loss.

Answer 3

Dealing with the loss of someone you love is just going to be painful no matter what your beliefs or nonbeliefs are. For me at first it was hard to think that I would never see that person again, while religious people can comfort themselves by thinking they will see their dead loved ones again. I came to realize though that in way they will always be with me. They are actually part of who I am since every person you love changes or shapes you in some way. They are with me in the memories that I have of them and shared experiences that will always be with me. If they are a relative they are in you in the genetic legacy that links you. I know that someday if I am lucky enough to hold my own child I may look at them and see my grandmother/grandfather, mother/father in some trait or characteristic they have. I will help those loved ones live on by sharing my memories of them with the new generation, showing them family photos, making some of my grandmother's recipes, etc...In a way not feeling that you have forever together is a gift that makes me stop and remember how precious every moment with those you love truly is.

Answer 4

Time does heal.
Living in the Bible-belt, and belonging to a largely religious family can be trying at times. In death, especially.
All the talk of the deceased loved one now dwelling with Jesus or in Heaven is tiresome to listen to. And when religious words of comfort are directed to me, as an atheist, I just say "thank you" and go on.
I take comfort in the person's memory and realize that we are all specks in the cosmos. As Carl Sagan said, we are starstuff, and to starstuff we will return.

Answer 5

I accepted my mother's death much more easily than other members of my family because my beliefs as a pagan cause me to respect the life cycle of all living things. Thus, though I was grieving as badly as everyone else, I wasn't *angry* about it, I wasn't cursing god and asking how this could happen. I accepted that death is a part of life and was able to let go more easily.

edit -- a warm thank you to whomever chose to give me a thumbs down for discussing my mother's death and my reaction to it. May you be more compassionate to the other people you encounter today.

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Answer 6

dropping somebody isn't ordinary. it relatively is not significant what a individual believes in, it relatively is only undeniable not ordinary. not seeing the guy we cared approximately plenty is definitely painful. the certainty which you think in atheism would not rely that she died. The human physique is designed to function for see you later. we are something like the flowers and animals around us. The day we end maturation we start up death. the main suitable i will grant is how I take care of those concerns myself. think of of ways that individual could experience seeing you so disillusioned. could they elect you to recover from the loss and start up living or only shop living on it. i'm hoping that once I bypass, every person has an incredible vast social gathering and retains on living with gusto. i could think of she could elect a similar for you.

Answer 7

Since we don't have god and promise of seeing them forever in heaven, I have tried to do what I can to make a difference in the world because of that person.

In my case, my grandma was murdered. I have volunteered time for the Victims Fund in her name. I've also supported some other things she liked (giving books to the library that she was really fond of). As hard as it was, I wrote letters to her murderers too. They needed to know who she was, besides just "that lady we killed."

Please take care of yourself during this time. Depression is an easy thing to slide into. Simple thing you can do for you is to take walks. Nature is very healing. I would also encourage you to read the book "Billions and Billions" by Carl Sagan. Not about death really, but a very encouraging book and since he died during the writing of it, the words by his wife at the end, I found very healing.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

The best way is to try to celebrate their life,instead of some morbid get together with everybody crying and wailing it has always seemed better to me to try to make some time to get together and celebrate the person,tell stories about them and their life. I have always wondered why those who believe in a life after this one in paradise also seem to be the ones most crushed by their passing,it simply makes no sense.

Answer 9

You mean the way I comfort myself. I just tell myself that we all have to go eventually and death is just a natural consequence of life. Does it make it easier? Of course not.

Answer 10

Knowing that witnessing death is just part of life....