Christmas of 2005 my son was wounded by an explosive device set by an insurgent. During his flight back to the United States to be have surgeory for his injuries one of his dear friends he graduated with from West Point was killed. Earlier this year two other soldiers of his same battery were kidnapped and tortued to death. A couple of days ago my son informed his mother and I he lost yet another Class mate of West Point. His friend was killed in action. My middle son is currently deployed in Iraq for a second tour. He lost friends on his first tour. This same weekend a suicide bomber killed over 50 people near where he is stationed. This son tells me many soldiers are becoming more vocal about the Iraq war and how it has spinned out of control.
I am hurting because my sons are hurting. I would just like to know from some other parents, sisters, brothers, and friends facing what I am facing what can I do to comfort them? I am at a loss for words? It's difficult.l
2006-11-20 01:10:49 · 10 answers · asked by rev_dane_eidson 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Sometimes I wonder who is more heroic; the soldiers or their families.
I know this is no comfort for you, but it is immutable fact-- without Americans like you and your sons, our nation would fall. The United States of America owes everything to our servicemen (and women) and their families.
Although just an infant, I too lost a person as they served our country. The comparisons between the current conflict in Iraq and the Vietnam War have an especially tangible meaning for me.
I, and millions of other Americans thank God-- everyday-- for people like you and your family.
2006-11-20 01:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no quick fix. This is something that will stay with them forever. Of course your mom and you don't want them to hurt but they will hurt indeed. Stop looking for the magic words, listen when they talk, don't make judgments. Don't try to put yourself in their shoes because no matter how hard you try you can't. I would suggest that you get counseling to learn what you can about post traumatic stress disorder. You don't have to push them into getting help but I think you would feel more comfortable with knowing the signs.
They won't deal with this stuff until they are ready. If you push to hard they will never deal. try not to let it bother you in front of team. There are a lot of on line support groups for the families as well as troops.
Sometimes people think that once your loved one comes home everything is wonderful. Sadly sometimes it's just the beginning of a long trip home.
good luck and God Bless
2006-11-20 01:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Stand 4 somthing Please! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen as a soldier myself. Don't talk about it to him, just tell him to stay leveled and he will be coming home soon. Its nothing you can do, he is a man in a war where people will die, its all about him learning to deal with what he is doing. Also if you get into the conversation with them, just let them know that, their friends died protecting their country and what they did was a 100 times better than what a million or billionaire can do for us. They will always be remembered for the things that they do.
2006-11-20 02:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by anthonycainion 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
theres no real way to comfort them. I have been to iraq as well as many other crapholes, and it just takes time to let the mental wounds heal. I still have dreams about things i have done and seen, and its getting better i think. Just dont bring up military stuff, and let them do all the talking, and dont argue with them, let them get it off there chest, and hopefully they will slowly come around.
2006-11-20 01:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by kram_7777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was happy just to have other vets to talk to when I cam e home from Viet Nam. Let them decide to talk about it, don't push them to it. Being there for them and a hug is 75% of the help needed most of the time.
2006-11-20 03:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by netnazivictim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be very proud of your sons. I want to say Thank You to them and you. When my son lost friends in the war I didnt know how to help either. But he told me later that just by being there for him and listening to him helped. Just love them and support them!. God Bless them and keep them safe.
2006-11-20 01:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Funny. I was wondering where your son is located at. Because my cousin and several of my friends are not saying the same thing. In fact they are saying the opposite.
2006-11-20 01:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by Reported for insulting my belief 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We lost our son-in-law in Pakistan. He was killed in a helicopter crash on the first day of the invasion into Pakistan. Needless to say, it was devastating. Our daughter was beside herself. Our love and the compassion of the whole community and of his fellow soldiers/Rangers was amazing. It continues to get her through life, even 6 years later.
Many of the Rangers are in touch wwith her today, to comfort her and to listen to her. I think it helps them as much as it helps her.
Your sons maa want to think about keeping in touch with the families of their fallen comrades/friends. It may be healing to them both.
May I offer my great appreciation to your family and to your sons for their service. May they stay safe and return soon.
As Always
Ron and Linda
2006-11-20 01:24:12 · answer #8 · answered by ron4back 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I just stopped in to read your plight, and first, I thank you for your devotion and strength you give to your sons which are our brave soldiers. I salute them for their courage to want to protect me and our country. They are always in my thoughts these days and i dont really know any of them...doesnt matter. They Rock!
Be a proud mom of such men as these! For we are too!
2006-11-20 02:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Diadem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your story does not ring true.
I suspect that you really do not have sons in Iraq.
2006-11-20 02:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by MikeGolf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋