I have been seeing this guy for 3 weeks now. Everything was perfect. Great chemistry, affection, tons in common, we laugh alot and then all of a sudden he gets scared. He tells me the last woman everything was perfect with, up and left him for no reason. He says he wants to take it slower and maybe he is not good enough for me etc. I told him no problem, I would take it at his speed, that I cared for him very much and would rather take it slow than lose him. My question is now how do I act and what is the best things to do to ease his fear and have him want to make that commitment. Serious answers only please, I have never dealt with this situation before. Thanks in advance for your help.
2006-11-20 01:09:55 · 14 answers · asked by Amber 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is probably checking your reaction after he let you know about his fear. His character plays a great deal to how you should treat him actually, but if I were you I probably feel that he is in fact diving deeper into the relationship by revealing his fear. Guys never like to show their weaker side unless he trusted u to do so.
so it is a good thing tat just happened!! be supportive & be the same if not better to him!
2006-11-20 01:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by alvineager 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go after a commitment. What he is really saying is that he is scared that you are moving too fast and want too much from him, i.e. the commitment he is not ready to give because he is still playing the field, which is normal for all young men and women to do. Honey? He is saying, I don't want to get serious with you because I feel like you are getting too serious with me and all I really wanted was a piece of butt. Been there, done that. Do your own thing. You are young and an entire world of beautiful young people is at your disposal. Do like he is doing. Play that field for what it is worth. Good luck. p.s. Guys only? Puleeze!
2006-11-20 09:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by sherijgriggs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop dating him. Dating is sinful. You only see a person for a future spouse or you shouldn't see that person at all. Hang with your friends for a while. You know how many guys there are that would want to be your husband? Tons! Find a good guy through your family's church, if no church, ask your friends about their church.
2006-11-20 09:16:11 · answer #3 · answered by Scarp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear that song "Shut up and kiss me"? She might have up and left him because she got tired of propping up his self esteem, that's what Mommies are for, how old is he? And who is it that needs to slow down, him or whatever woman he's with? The most important thing is to learn from the past but leave that baggage at the door please!
2006-11-20 09:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it slow.. he's insecure at the moment, and he needs reassurance that he is good enough and that u aren't going to run off on him.. it'll take some time, so u have to make up ur mind if ur ready to take that on, or if u would rather move on... if u need more help email me hykaz24@yahoo.com.au
2006-11-20 09:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont hold back on ur affection when you are with him...but maybe u need to not see him as much...If I wanted to "slow down"..I would be ok with not seeing each other as much...BUT, I would like you to be just as affectionate to me as before.
2006-11-20 09:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Studmuffin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him a little space. A relationship has to be a 2 way street, be sure your expectations and his are symbiotic.
2006-11-20 09:13:02 · answer #7 · answered by Monte T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try showing him that you care, and have no initiation on leaving. It will only take time. the last girl i dated, right be for i meet my wife, treated me like ****, then she left me for another guy. Then I meet my wife and it just took time for me to trust her. Just remember that this will take lots of time, and lots of understanding on your part.
2006-11-20 09:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by FireFighter96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since you really want to be with him then he really doesn't have anything to worry about. but i guess just show him you really do love him and show him he is gud enough for you. show commitment towards him and he'll understand you're serious and he'll make a commitment towards you. i hope it works out for ya.
2006-11-20 09:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont stress just do what you have been doing --- talk a lot together --- go out do nice things together --- just being with each other will show him you're serious without getting serious
be yourself
2006-11-20 09:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋