Sister Won't speak to me?

Question

This all started 10/05 I wanted to have a Baby Shower for my Sister, I included her Husband in the planning. We decided on 11/6/05. Apparently this was all wrong, because somehow my sister found out about the shower and the next thing I know I was being called a Liar. I still have no idea what I did wrong. I've tried writting to my sister and calling and sending emails to no avail. I was suppose to be the Godmother of my niece (1st time aunt), and that job was taken away. (I am not the Godmother), I was also told by my mother to not show me any new pictures of my niece. (she will be 1 yrs old 12/10) And I have never met her. My sister has also spoken to my daughter and stated that my daughter is no longer welcomed in her home as well. (my sister is the godmother of my daughter.) I have no idea of what I did except try to plan a Baby shower. I think my brother-in- law is putting things in my sisters head. What else can I do to try to get her to understand? I am completely lost

Here Are more things that I've done: I did trying calling my sister, writting to her, emailing her. My parents have already twice to have a family meeting(recent one was to have Thanksgiving as a family) which my sister and her husband declined. So my parents have tried. My mom keeps saying I havent tried enough, the only thing I did not do is drive 2 hrs to her house. I'm afraid she will call the police for harrassment. My brother-in-law is the one saying no. It just hurts when my sister & I were once so close I never thought a guy would come between us. I think it all has to do with the baby. He now has crontrol over my sister. He was once married and took his ex to court and got custody of his other children. So my sister knows if she leaves he will get the child. i think he is using that to keep my sister from talking with me.

Jody Sweet G: I was just at my mothers house helping her with down loading pics off a digital camera. I asked my mom if she had any new pics from my niece>(My mom always shows me pics).My mom stated that my sister requested that she not show me any more pics of my niece. My mom did not honor that request due to me helping with the download of the pics, but why would my sister be going thru all this crap.I never thought is possible to not have my sister to talk to. We talked everyday 3x's a day.We tried the meeting thing but she is very careful to accept and makes sure we wont be there. My family (husband and daughter) we willing to get together for Thanks giving, my sister told my mom thanks alot for asking that question you ruined my day. That was 2 wks ago. So it seems she doesnt care since this arguement (1yr) my sister has been in 2 or 3 car accidents, had a miscarriage.And I had a miscarriage, & I wasnt even there to help her thru it. My mom never had 1 to even know,

Answer 1

Her loss. Sounds like she has a lot of rage or something wrong with her. Don't let it eat you up, some people are only happy making other people as miserable as they are.

Answer 2

OMG, that sounds EXACTLY like my sister & her husband. No matter what I do or the rest of the family does for her, they never appreciate it, & it seems like they'll find any reason, even if it's ridiculous, to quit speaking to us. All I can tell you is to leave it go, just as I have, & hope that she sees what an idiot her husband really is, & that she'll apologize for acting the way she did, or at least explain why she called you a liar in the first place. It doesn't seem right now that attempting to communicate with her is going to make the situation any better. If she's as stubborn as my sister is, you'll just make matters worse by even trying. My sister hasn't spoken to me in months, & I didn't even do anything to make her mad, it's because she's mad at my parents & grandparents, & pretty much the rest of the family, and for what reason? I'll probably never know.

Answer 3

Wow, that is really strange. I think you already know that it has something to do with your brother-in-law, but what?...If your really have no clue the only thing I can think of is that he must've somehow indicated to her that you came on to him....it is the only hting that makes sense...why he would do that who knows. I am guessing that your mother knows, I wonder why she won't tell you so you can at least defend yourself.
You are being treated very unfairly. I hope you have a complete and full understanding that this is not YOUR problem, it is theirs, including your mother if she has not tried to help you out in this problem, withholding even pictures????
I have a difficult relationship w/my sister so I know kind of how you feel. It is soooo upsetting when family makes you feel like crap. I would suggest that you try to stop feeling so hurt by all this, although I know it is easier said then done. You need to really get your aorund the concept that this is not your problem, it is theirs.
Your sister is being stupid and denying her child of what sounds like a really great aunt, that is immature and selfish.
The only thing I can think of is to directly confront your brother in law, through his work number, or email and CC both your mother and your sister and ask him what he did....hope that helps. He is obviously the key to this entire mess and he needs to be held accountable. Good luck...sorry, know it stinks.

Answer 4

YOU'VE ALREADY TRIED TALKING TO HER AND STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY RESPONSE ANOTHER THING I THINK YOUR MOTHER IS WRONG FOR NOT SHOWING YOU THE
PICTURES OF YOUR NEICE AS THE MOTHER SHE SHOULD ASK YOUR SISTER WHAT THE PROBLEM IS CAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT'S LIKE YOUR MOTHER IS ON YOUR SISTER SIDE AND HER HUSBAND MAY BE PUTTING THING'S
IN HER HEAD HAS HE EVER TRIED TO GET WITH YOU AND
YOU TURNED HIM DOWN AND FOR HER TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER SHE'S NO LONGER WELCOME IN HER HOUSE
SHE HAS A PROBLEM GIRL DON'T FEEL GUILTY OR BADD
ABOUT ANYTHING CAUSE IF SHE WANT TO ACT STUPID AND NOT INCLUDE YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER IN THEIR LIFE THEN OH WELL THAT'S HER LOSE AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOU DID NOTHING WRONG DON'T WORRY AT ALL
PRAY AND LEAVE IT ALONE SHE MUST DON'T KNOW WHEN THAT MAN LEAVE'S YOU WILL BE THERE JUST GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANT'S DON'T GO AROUND SHE'LL NEED YOU
GOD WILL FIX IT TO WHERE NO ONE WILL HELP HER AND
SHE'LL COME RUNNING HELP HER AND YOU'LL GET YOUR BLESSING'S CAUSE SHE'S MISSING HER'S EVERYTIME SHE
KEEP YOUR NEICE AWAY FROM YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER SO DON'T WORRY THING'S ARE GONNA GET BETTER THEN YOU CAN CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW
MY NAME IS CHRIS 318-574-2688

Answer 5

You need to go to your sister when her husband isn't there..either at home or work. Even if you have to beat the door down. Make sure he isn't there. You may have to force yourself in. I know that if your sister hears what you have to say, she will figure out what's going on...you should NEVER let anyone come between you and family. If she wants to deal with him, that's her problem, but don't let HIM control whether you can talk to your own flesh and blood or not. If you have to, call the police on him if he harasses you, then you will have the quiet time to talk to her. Have your parents told you why? They need to find out and tell you why if they refuse or don't know...then there is some type of problem with him for sure. Please don't let this go on. If you don't act and soon...you may have a family battle on your hands for years to come. Think back, did you say ANYTHING to her husband about the shower that he could twist around...or even missunderstand? Anyway, I feel you need to force yourself on your sister and make her discuss it with you to find out the problem. I doubt she'll call the police...especially if he is the instigator...which sounds like that is the case.

Answer 6

In my family we don't put up with that crap. First I'd find some way of communicating with her and tell her to **** off.
Another thing stop kissing up to her; you haven't done anything to deserve it.
But hey - that's me. If you want to get along again this badly than you're gonna have to hide behind your mom's couch and have your sister come over, lock the doors, tie her down, and demand an explanation to her irrational behavior.
But yeah, I'd do the same thing to her and make her unwelcome in my home or do something SERIOUSLY irrational to make her snap out of her cloud 9 dream world where she can just be mad at you randomly.

Answer 7

It potential 'searching for a sister,' or 'searching for sister'. i recognize this from the identify of the anime/manga 'finished moon wo sagashite' meaning 'searching for an total moon'

Answer 8

It sounds like your sister is far to angry for just a baby shower! Talk to your Mom and ask her if she know more than you do? I'd be will to make a bet that the husband did lie to her to get her this upset.

Answer 9

i would talk to your parents and ask to call a family meeting. have it at your parents place. get them to invite her over just her and her husband. don't tell her its a family meeting. be there before she gets there. have someone watch the door so she doesn't bolt out on her own when she sees you. then let it all out. don't let her leave until she says something. let her know you have no clue what she meant about being a liar and you demand to know why she has alientated you and your daughter with no explanation. have him sitting there to. cause if he is using you as an excuse to something then he needs to fess up. he needs to let their marriage problems be thier marriage problems and not bring anyone one else into it. its going to get heavy in their. so be ready, if you can, see if you can bring a crisis worker or counsellor into the home to help to find a resolution. good luck

Answer 10

Well try calling and talking to her. Tell her you have no clue what you did. You were only trying to be nice to give her a baby shower. Tell her your sorry for whatever. Tell her this is no way for a grown up to act. That she will always be your sister no matter what. If that don't work get your mom to talk to her for you. Your mom needs to tell her that is no way for an adult to act. She is acting very childish.

Answer 11

I GUESS IF YOU HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING AND THEY WONT EVEN TELL YOU WHY THEY ARE MAD THEN I WOULD JUST STAY AWAY FROM THEM. YOU JUST KEEP GETTING HURT HERE. MAYBE ONE DAY SHE WILL COME AROUND ,YOU ARE RIGHT SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE YOUR SISTER AND I KNOW YOU MISS THAT RELATIONSHIP BUT RIGHT NOW THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE INVOLVED IN THERE LIFE.
PLEASE GO ON WITH YOU LIFE AND TRY TO BE HAPPY THIS IS CAUSING YOU A LOT OF STRESS.
PLUS YOUR SISTER SHOULD NEVER INVOLVE THE CHILDREN IN THIS FIGHT. IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD MOVE ON..
BEST WISHES!!!!