Im getting engaged soon (I think ) ,and im already thinking about my wedding day which wont take place before 3 years! There are many family members that I wouldnt want at my wedding and this is why I wanted to have a destination wedding.My future Fiance disagrees! What should I do.By having a destination wedding, the guest lists would inlcude a limited # of people that I consder to be part of my life not only when there's an occasion or holiday( HInt).I dont want to spend money on ppl who I am not comfortable with or who I would consider the biggest hypocrites in the world.Am I wrong for feeling this way?What should I do.I want to keep it small( 100 ppl), inexpensive, elegant and simple.Thanks for reading thi loooong post!
2006-11-20 00:31:13 · 9 answers · asked by Joanne a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The first problem is that you are way ahead of yourself. A three year engagement gives you more than enough time to plan a wedding. Get engaged first and then plan.
On the other hand, if you tell everyone that you are keeping the wedding small for cost concerns, they will have to understand. Also, you control your guest list. Just make sure that you are fair. Do not invite one cousin and not another, because that will make a statement.
You can have your wedding locally and it will be fine. You just have to limit your guest list. It is your wedding and your guest list.
My wife and I kept our wedding small and we picked our guest list carefully. It went well and was inexpensive. We are also lucky enough to have a Church with a nice place to have a reception, which greatly reduced costs.
If you have a destination wedding, it will be expensive. There are few destination locations that are inexpensive. You will also be surprise at who will show up to your destination wedding. Do not leave yourself so open to people that you are not comfortable with. You will be really uncomfortable in a remote place with people that you do not trust.
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-20 01:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a great book called by Diane Warner called , ' How to have a big wedding on a small budget'. One of her keys is to be r-e-a-l-l-y organized. See if you can get your hands on a copy from the library or some other source.
This way you can save money & still not disappoint your fiance. Remember, it's his wedding,too. You both will need to sit down and discuss what aspects are really important to you and go from there. May as well learn the fine-art of compromise. :)
The only problem with a destination wedding is that the people you invite must pay for the trip, lodging, food, etc. It's like a mini vacation, and some budgets just won't allow it; therefore they have to miss one of the most wonderulf occasions in your life.
2006-11-20 10:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it is your and your intendeds day, above all keep that in mind and don't make it a day that is going to be anything but wonderful for you and he.
Second, destination weddings are great but they can get really complicated, expensive and very difficult to manage. (have heard some really bad stories)
Third, (boy am I annoying), but you don't HAVE to invite anyone you don't want to be there. Period. An invitation, is just that, an invitation. You ASK who you want to be there, not who you feel you need to ask or someone else will be upset.
You are not wrong for not wanting people to come to your wedding that you don't want there, you are right. Maybe some of them wouldn't even WANT to come, think of it that way, you don't need all this drama. If you were older, like me, you would be comfortable with doing your own thing. Take your power now girl, or you will spend the rest of your life bowing down to "the family"..
Just my suggestion hope it helps. good luck and have a happy life.
2006-11-20 09:26:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can keep it as small as you want and it doesn't have to be a destination wedding. Destination weddings are expensive for everyone involved and I personally think it is a little rude to be asking guests to spend an exorbitant amount of money for travel expenses and a gift. Have something small and classy locally. Also remember that you don't have to invite people that you don't want to...so what if your fiance has 19 tables of guests?? If you only want to fill 4-5 tables, then go for it!
2006-11-20 09:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont just the two of you have a destination wedding and then when you get back home in the states throw a reception party and invite the guest to that. A lot of people that have destination weddings do that. At the reception show the video of you and your fiance getting married.
2006-11-20 10:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, 100 people is HUGE for a destination wedding. For a destination wedding, you'll need to cut it to below 25.
Second, it is his wedding too. You have to be able to compromise on this. Does he want a larger wedding, or does he just not like the idea of a destination wedding? Just because you have family you don't want to invite doesn't mean that he doesn't want to invite his own family.
2006-11-20 10:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you have a simple, inexpensive wedding where you live? You do not have to invite every Tom, Dick, and Harry you have ever known or talked to. Keep it simple and invite close family and close friends only. By having a destination wedding as you call it, you are putting burden on the few people you do want to invite...travel expenses, hotel expenses, time off work.
2006-11-20 08:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by Zelda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong, to feel this way because I did the same thing, because I have such a big family and I knew that I wouldn't be able to invite one person without inviting another etc, and my husband didn't want to invite some of his relatives just for the sake of it. We chose to have our wedding overseas, in total we had 25 people, and these were our closest relatives and friends. And the people that we knew really wanted to be there and whom we wanted to be there. I would suggest that you do the same thing and suggest to your husband that when you return you could have a big party and invite the other family members, that were able to fly out for the wedding
Don't have a big wedding just for the sake of pleasing other people after all it is your special day, and you need to do it the way you want to.
2006-11-20 09:18:30 · answer #8 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is 100% your fiance and your decision who comes to your wedding. If you don't want someone there then don't invite them. It is as simple as that. You are not wrong for feeling that way and don't let anyone make you believe that you are. As for having a inexpensive wedding, you just need to make sure that you cut corners wherever possible. I used http://www.theknot.com to help me plan and budget my wedding. It was a great site to use.
Good luck!
2006-11-20 09:06:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋