Has anyone here experienced discrimination in grocery stores? If so, how do you deal with it?

Question

I've noticed that when I go to certain grocery stores with my wife (I'm black and she's hispanic), particularly stores that mostly either black people shop at, or hispanic people go to, we get nothing be weird stares like we did something wrong. Some times people look at use like we just robbed a bank. And it never fails that usually the only people who are friendly to us are light skinned black women.

When we buy our food at the register, most black girls won't even look me in the eye, and they treat my wife like she doesn't even exist. No, "how are you", or "have a nice day", nothing. Even if we're polite, we get no response most of the time. The same goes in stores that mostly hispanics work at and go to.

When it's a white grocery store, most people are kind, polite, and helpful. I get the feeling if I was married to a white girl, I'd probably get the cold shoulder at those stores instead.

Any one else go through discrimination at stores? And how do you deal with it?

What I find interesting is that if we decided to just shop at stores that mostly white people go to, our cultures would call us sell outs even though it's our two cultures that treat us like crap when ever we're around them. It's stupid.

-tequila7... - There's no way we're shopping seperately. We're always together. And we'd both feel stupid fearing shopping together because of other peoples stupidity. They make it seem like we're walking in the nude or something.

CindyLu - Agreed except for one thing. Many of these black women are indeed apart of the problem of why they can't find a good black man. As a black man, I speak from experience.

Here's an example....NO black women gave me the time of day when I was single because I'm short and light skinned & I don't act ghetto for no reason & try to act like the kind of black guys on TV. I've learned that most black women will usually only date the big 6'0" tall dark skinned black dude who acts like a convict. I grew up in the ghetto & dispite my size, & the fact that I'm light skinned (which is considered weak & unmanly in black culture from my experience) I can kick the a*ss of most of these so-called tough guys because I know how to fight & bring atomic fist to jaws. But no black women would give me the time of day. So once I dated outside black women, all of a sudden they make a big deal about it.

If they would stop limiting themselves in their choices of men, they would have a good man.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear people give you such a hard time. Some people are so narrow-minded and prejudiced.

I have experienced discrimination in grocery stores. I'm white and married to a white foreigner. No matter whether we're in my country or his, if people hear that one of us is a foreigner we get followed around in grocery stores as if we were criminals. We have security guards watching our every move in between shelves or around corners until we're out the door. If we don't talk when we're in the shop then nobody knows one of us is foreign, but as soon as they find out they assume that we're thieves. At first it annoyed us and made us feel uncomfortable shopping, but with time we got used to it. We also got used to the stares we got from people. When we feel like someone is going too far and being flat out rude we make comments about that between ourselves loud enough for them to hear and they usually get the message and get off our back.

I think you will keep experiencing that problem but that you will get used to it with time and learn to ignore the nasty looks you get. As for the staff of the stores you shop at frequently, it's often effective to make subtle comments about the politeness of the staff. Sort of get them to think about how rude they're being and how inappropriate it is to treat a customer like that. Next time they might remember and be polite. If not, having a talk to the manager about this might be useful. If they care about business they should care how their customers are being treated by the staff.

Anyway, good luck and don't let bigots get to you, they're not worth it.

Answer 2

I'm white, but I've seen it happen! There was a reality show/documentary about it a few years back . 2 guys of same build, w/same dress, but one white and one black, went in to all the same stores and so on. The white guy was treated alright but the black guy was either ignored, followed or even harrassed, though he did all the same things as the black guy.
Yes, there IS racism, alive and not at all "well", today in the U.S.

Interestingly, when I went to Barbados, I experienced what you're talking about when i went to mostly Black dance clubs and other places. It was okay if I was there alone..well, sort of, but NOT if I was there with a black Barbadian! I got "dagger looks"!

That was quite the "education" for me.

As for dealing with it (in the stores)...being who I am, I'd confront them and make a scene! I enjoy that sort of thing.

Answer 3

Yes, what you speak of certainly does exist and I am sorry. However, you may as well get used to it, many people are prejudiced.

One of my children was considering a permanent partner outside of her race and while I tried to be supportive I had several discussions about how she would be constantly "defending" her choice. And any children of the marriage stand the chance of being ostracized by both races.

It is sad, to be sure, and I commend you for your commitment to your partner. I wish you both the best. If it is truly disturbing to you and more than a minor annoyance perhaps it would be a wise decision to shop separately.

Good luck.

Peace.

EDIT: OK, OK, so shop together, I just offered a suggestion in the interest of being supportive. It's an uphill battle was all I was saying, I am glad you have each other, truly.
Peace.

Answer 4

hmm I don't know what to tell you. I remember when I was like 12 and would go to the store, the people working there would watch me closely(at least I thought they were) as if they thought I was going to steal something just because I was young. I'm 17(which I guess u are too because you're a senior) but I don't get that anymore..... I know I didn't help any but...I don't really know what you can do. Just bite your tongue and ignore them. Smile. have a sense of humor. If they think you're going to steal something it doesn't matter. You know you're innocent. It's really their own problem.

Answer 5

I am sorry for that but unfortunately there are still many ignorant and intollerant people in the world. By marrying outside of your respective races you had to know there would be problems, this is one of them.

In addition many black women are single with little prospects of having a man of their own and through no fault of theirs. There is a severe shortage of decent Black Men ( and I mean MEN not the immature B-boys of whatever age) When they see one of the "good ones" taken by a woman of another race, especially if she is "light skinned with 'good' hair,it hurts, it says there is one less out there, and they get angry. it is not right but it is the truth. I am afraid you two will just have to live with it and get over it.