he says he loves me but how am i subpose to feel loved? i really need him and he won't take the time. a few years ago i wanted this big house. he said i want a divorce. he wasn't gonna give up any of his many hobbies just to live in a bigger house...we got the much needed bigger house (our kitchen was so small we couldn't eat together as a family of 5). We've been together for 17yrs. and for once i just want to feel like the most important part of his life is that to much to ask?
2006-11-19 19:49:10 · 9 answers · asked by chrissy s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can't believe you have been together for that long.
Why did you pick him? On the other hand loneliness comes from within. My advice is to Get busy doing what makes you happy.
If you like to dance Go!
If you like to travel, Go!
There is a great movie, Shirley Valentine.
It is about an English housewife who got board with her husband because he was a numb-skull and She went on a trip to Greece.
She had the time of her life and decided to stay. She learned a lot about herself and grew up.
You will love the movie! The bottom line is... No One is responsible for your happiness but you.
Call all your energy back that you have spent on self pity and go have fun every moment you can.
He is spending money when he wants you should too.
Start keeping a secret bank account for yourself. You figure out how much he spends that will give you an idea of a budget amount.
Remember he does not define who you are, only God does.
And God thinks you are worth a million! Have Fun BaBÃ
2006-11-20 04:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by laceykd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iam sorry girlfriend! Maybe these will help?
+ Don't whine or bring it up in a stressful time.
+ Take him out on a small date - coffee is good for us (they say that talking over coffee makes people more receptive and when you are in public he has to behave and can't just walk away! Plus the kids won't be there to cause distraction). Tell him that you love him and simply look forward to time together. Present it in a positive way and understand that men like to come up with solutions so let him be the hero. Don't say that his idea isn't good enough. Encourage compromise and find out when DOES work for you two to spend time together. Take what he is willing to give at the time and then positively reinforce the heck out of it when that time comes around.
+ for sure get a network of women friends. Church, parenting groups, your kid's friends parents, neighbors, scrapbooking group, WHATEVER! Find other people - particularly women to occupy your time and social life, as well.
+ find new activities that you like. crafting, working out at the gym, volunteering for your kids' sports team, WHATEVER. This serves two purposes - gets you out of the hous and your mind on something else and shows your hubby how independent you are.
Find some way to look forward to his hunting trips - maybe you get to redecorate a room or spend quality time with your kids. Maybe it's time for the lady friends to come over for a spa afternoon - no hubbies! Or you get to play the music you want and scrapbook!
It will all make your time that you are together that much more special. Give him an opportunity to miss you! Then when he is back, do your planned date together and you will have so much to talk about!!
I hope something in here helps!
2006-11-20 03:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by purpleklipse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying, but I dont' think you are going about it the right way. The last thing he is going to do is give up his "man" time. He needs to hunt, men look forward to it all year long (i grew up in a hunting and fishing family) I know that you probably give up stuff all year just to be with him and your children. In fact I know you do. We are women that is what we do, and are never appreciated for it. I'm not going to pretend that i have any good advice as how to get him to spend quality time with you, because I go threw the same thing with my boyfriend when it comes to racing season. But i do wish you the best, and I hope every thing turns out well. Oh, yea and way to go on the house you stuck to your guns and got what you want.
Happy holidays
2006-11-20 03:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by jelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a selfish prick. if shooting at thing's is mor important to him the making his wife happy then you should divorce him and find a man that will care about something other then his own childish need's.
2006-11-20 03:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by mrharderson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get some friends and start doing things on your own to show him that you aren't going to be a miserable sod when he isn't around. Maybe he'll get a little green knowing that you can have fun without him, which you can.
2006-11-20 03:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by Suga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband goes round shooting things, what does that say about his emotions? that he doesnt have many!!!
its not too much to ask and if he cant give you want you need then divorce him.
There is nothing worse than being in a relationship and still feeling lonely.
2006-11-20 03:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
either dress up like a deer ....or tell him you're going hunting too. (man hunting) and gonna find yourself a prime buck (which is a hot young guy)
2006-11-20 03:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by manywarhoops 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good advice, Suga!
2006-11-20 03:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋