I yearn for my childhood home. Would I be a fool to move to the same suburb again?

Question

I'm thirty and ever since my parents got divorced when I was twelve, I've moved every two years. I've just spent six years travelling around Europe, but all I want to do is sleep in my childhood home here in Aus. I recently went back to look at it and everything felt smaller, but I traced my steps and felt so content. I haven't been happy since I left there eighteen years ago, and I don't know where I belong. My family live all over Aus, but not nearby. Should I move back to my old suburb to find out who I am? I'm scared it might not be home and I won't ever know where home is. This is contributing to my permanent feeling of loneliness. (If I fall in love, will my lover be my 'home?')

Answer 1

Of course you would not be a fool for following your heart.

If your heart yearns to be in the neighbourhood where you grew up, and you have that opportunity, then you may find happiness there. If the experience is not what you expected, then you will at least have followed through and grown from this.

Otherwise, you may always be pulled towards the idea of living there, which may prevent you from being happy elsewhere and moving forward with your life.

Perhaps temporarily renting a residence in the neighbourhood will help you through this without making a lengthy commitment.

Answer 2

You may as well give it a try. If it feels like home, you're in luck. At worst, it's another place that doesn't feel like home. After moving from my childhood home, nothing has felt as "homey" to me. I'm 51 and have two adult children. We still live in the same house where they grew up. They can't wait to move far away. This is home to me now. It's just different when you're an adult.

I love to go by the home where I grew up. I have never gone inside again. I just love that place and all the memories. The roses, the grapes, raspberries and elderberries.

Go back and try it. It will be different, but the same. Loneliness is a state of mind. You can change that, too.

Answer 3

Oh, my heart aches reading your question...what I would say is that going back to your old home, where you seem to have the happiest memories of your life, would not be the same (because you're not a young boy and your parents are still divorced and not there), but could nonetheless provide you a psychological refuge while you sort out your feelings and try to make a home and life of your own, as each of us must do in life. Maybe that house will become your home, melding past and future.

I'm thinking that you feel like you have no roots, no strong connection to a community, where people know you and say hello and miss you and share laughs. If your childhood town also has that community feeling, you'll have to opportunity to make your childhood home your own home. Decorate it according to your style, invite people over, get your life going and become part of it all. You'll feel less lonely, and perhaps you'll meet someone you'll want to share it all with.

I would like to say that every adult I know feels a little existential loneliness at times, even those happily married with children. It's the human condition.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you! I, too, used to yearn for my old home. A few weeks ago, I went back to the place where I was
born.

I was appalled! The old house was still there, but little else. The old barn where I spent so many hours playing in the hayloft, was gone. The old apple tree that I had climbed so many times, was cut down. The beautiful flower beds that my mother had cherished were gone also. The creek where I played was reduced to a stream.

I had been entertaining thoughts of moving back to that area, but as I stood and gazed at my old home, I realized that what I had been yearning for was my childhood and even if I moved back there, it would never be the same.

Go back to your old home, take a good look around, then search deep in your heart. Like me, it may be your childhood you are yearning for.

Answer 5

My parents still live in the family home , but when i first left home when i was 18 i hated not being there.I loved my own house but it wasnt the same ,all of us sitting round the table on sunday for lunch , and in my house it was so quiet .The trouble is that was such a long time ago the memory has faded somewhat. Before i moved to Spain i had lived in the same house for 30 years and both our sons and me had a real problem leaving the only home they had known .I still miss it now and had to go and have a look at it when i went to England last week. So i know exactly how you feel but you still have your memories and no one can take that away from you.

Answer 6

You know what, I felt the same way, but I actually went to live with my mom for a couple of months, and it wasn't the same. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom very much, but my dad died almost 4 years ago, and home wasn't the same. I lived in the house with mom that I had lived in from the time I was born til I left to go out on my own at the age of 19. I had been gone for 35 years. I had gone to visit, but actually living there, was not the same.
Home, is where your heart is. You could try it, but I am not going to guarantee that you will find yourself there. I really hope that you do, and yes, when you fall in love, then your love will be your home, because that will be where your heart is.
I pray that you find what you are looking for.
God be with you as you search.
Sincerely and with love and understanding, Juanita

Answer 7

Go where your heart leads you. A decision doesn't have to be forever. If it's not your spot you'll know after a few months. However, you've taken the first step in finding your home by reconnecting and feeling content about it. Meeting new friends and getting involved in your community will lead to finding your family and home; because family does not always mean growing up under the same roof. Your desire will find you. You're on the right road.

Answer 8

I think it is worth to try to go back n live in your childhood home. who knows it may bring back all the memories of your life and your family. And who knows it might bring back all your family together again and that way you will have answers on where you should belong....

Answer 9

You are living in the past. You are not letting yourself move foreword. Going back will not solve anything. Pray. That is the only way to live. You will turn to salt if you look back.

Answer 10

no, ur not being a fool..
if u really are that nostalgic, then do it..move..