I have a good college friend who is straight and knows I am gay. He is nice and accepting and invites me to hang out with his friends or to study with him often. I am torn becaue I think I have a crush on him, so I end up rejecting his invitations fearing that my feelings towards him will only grow stronger. I am thinking of telling him, but think it would probably be a bad idea. What would really come of it? However I feel so torn that I sometimes feel it would be best just not to be a part of his life. I think it would be rude just to leave him and never give him any reasons. Does anyone have any advice for me in this situation? I would really appreciate it.
2006-11-19 18:47:34 · 23 answers · asked by pensive1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Crushes fade, perhaps you dont have a lover. Perhaps you are overwhelmed by your feelings for this guy, because he is being friendly. Maybe you are lonely, i don't know. What i think is that if you tell him, he will tell his other mates and you may get hurt. Take care of yourself, whatever you decide. If you have to go to this college, and the fact that you are hesitant about telling him, may leave you very vulnerable if he is not accepting of the way you feel right now.
2006-11-19 19:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the situation. Crushes can come about for all sorts of reasons. The guy is being friendly so reciprocate that friendliness. Don't let a crush get in the way of a friendship. Treat him like any other friend, hard as it may seem and then see what develops from there....If it is solely a friendship then at least you have him as a friend. Just don't make a bigger deal out of this than you have to!
2006-11-19 19:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, as a straight guy, I've had crushes on women who I liked and only liked me as a friend. I kept that info to myself and still have some good friends.
If you do find yourself too wrapped up in him, I think its o.k. to keep a bit of a distance. Being "busy" alot might be the correct approach, I'm not sure.
Telling him you like him, is probably not the best idea in the world.
2006-11-19 19:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM B. If you came out and he is still ur friend then that is great keep it that way. Later down the line if he is feelin sum type of way for u trust me u will know. U dont want to tell him and the if he isn't feelin u the same wasy u will loose him, maybe not his friendship but he may not feel that comfortable around u like he use to.
2006-11-20 08:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a bad Ideal, Because he's gay too. Birds of a something like that. What the hell man. Just take a bath at his place, Or what ever you sissy boys do to get other gay guys. Sorry but your friend is not straight. Because if he was he wouldn't be hanging around you. He likes you and wants to make love to you in your black stocking and heels
2006-11-19 19:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by omegarussell42 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your friend knows you are gay and he enjoys your company even so. I think you should still remain friends with him, just tell him that you admire him very much because he has a personable aura about him. That you wish there were more people with his qualities that could relate to you and your life style. Thank him for being such a valued friend because it's people like him thats well appreciated by many.
2006-11-19 18:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by hiba808 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is accepting, then it probably would be ok to tell him how you feel. Just don't try to make any moves on him. Nothing good could come of that since he's straight.
2006-11-19 18:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
are you 100% sure hes not bi or gay?
you need to ask yourself why you want to tell him.
i have alot of strait male friends and they range from saying stuff to me like "yo we're still cool just dont bring any of your f-ggy friends around" to stuff like "so what boy you hooking up with now or dude you must get so much *** with a guy/guy relationship and no girl to slow you down" so i mean
HOW accepting is he?
cuz i told one of my friends and he took it really well, and like told his gf and pretty much took it as a compliment, but i mean i kinda figured he wouldnt care cuz he always would ask me if my gay friends thought he was hot or not...
so i mean you know him and we dont... BUT having a crush on a guy you KNOW is strait isnt good foor anyone long term...so either way get over that crush quick =)
2006-11-19 18:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by pete 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he knows you're gay and he seems ok with it so tell him you like him. Just don't make it ap ublic announcement and then, if move on. Hanging around someone whom you like, who does not return the feelings is torture. I know. (I'm a straight female but that means I know what it's like ot hang out with guys whom you like but don't like you back.) good luck. bu tell him. after all, not knowing is worse.
2006-11-19 19:04:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know but all i can say to u is to pretent that he has a secret admire and give him a clue not u somethin lilke from a friend who is with u or something like that not to directly ok? i mean if u love him gjo ahead make ur move but first ask him as a question what could happen if a gay loves u. for example ask his email or somethign and u make one up with other data and then u ask him like u r doing a topic or someting like that and if he says somthig good for u then go and tell him i mean if he doesn't they tell him sorry but i must go my family is moving or somehting u know what i mean
sorry if my english is to bad ehehe good luk my friend
2006-11-19 19:10:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋