ok...i know it sounds weird, but me and my boyfriend can not have sex. It is really painful when we try, i know that it hurts a little when the hymen is broken, but it has already been broken (tampon), and the pain it unberable when we try. its like being stabbed in the cervix. Is something wrong with me? how can i make it better?
2006-11-19 17:48:07 · 11 answers · asked by gardner7988 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Are you sure your hymen is already broken? I used tampons successfully for years with my hymen still intact (tampons are so much smaller than a penis....it's possible depending on the shape and size of your particular hymen)
Relaxing through gentle foreplay/massage etc., lots of lube, these might help.
But I also had a friend who wasn't able to consummate her wedding, until on the 2nd or 3rd day, a doctor or pharmacist gave her some numbing gel or cream to use so her husband could break her hymen without it hurting her so much. They used it for the first while, then went without once she healed, so they could feel what was happening - LOL.
By the way, I'm assuming you're fully grown and not 12 or 14, in which case you may just not be large enough yet to comfirtably accommodate a fully grown penis.
Good luck
2006-11-19 18:13:07 · answer #1 · answered by ladyfraser04 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alright, first, the hymen is not the only thing that may hurt when you are first trying to have sex. When people think of the vagina, we often think of something kinda empty - more like a cave. It's actually much more like a deflated balloon and it stretches to accomodate what is introduced to it - like a tampon, a penis, or a baby. So, if you are not used to having your vagina hold anything bigger than a tampon in it, the stretching may hurt more than just as the opening (where the hymen is). It might also hurt on the sides and towards the back.
If your boyfriend is new to it too, he may not be skilled enough and may be going to far back and bumping your cervix, which will also hurt you.
Best thing to do is start out slowly. Spend a lot of time kissing and feeling each other and thinking about how good it is going to feel (instead of feeling terrified about the pain). The longer you kiss the more aroused you are going to feel and the more natural lubricant you are going to produce.
Don't underestimate foreplay - oral sex and fingering will prepare your vagina for a larger object (his penis). Try having him start with one finger, then after a couple minutes move to 2 fingers, and then maybe even trying 3 fingers before moving on to sex. If you feel his technique is causing the pain, suggest that your boyfriend be on the bottom and you on the top. That way, you can control how deep and how fast you want to go.
If you are feeling a sort of intense burning on the sides of your vagina, you may not have enough lubrication. Buy a bottle at the store to supplement your own natural lubrication. Try something like astroglide before trying KY.
After trying it that way a few times and it is still really painful, you may have a thickened hymen that may need to be broken by a doctor.
Best of luck!
2006-11-20 02:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by antheia 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This sort of thing happend to me also.
I thought something was wrong with me, but in reality, the fact that a tampon broke the hymen really was o contest with the first time having sex, given the penis is a lot bigger than a tampon...try gradually working up to sex with other things.
If this doesnt work, talk to a doctor. Remember, it may hurt WAY more that "just a little" your first time, even if your hymen is already broken.
2006-11-20 01:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sufficiently aroused (wet) before your boyfriend tries to penetrate?
Do you have bleeding after sex? A tampon won't necessarily break the hymen.
Can you, or your boyfriend get a finger inside you without pain?
Do you feel cramping or unusual tension in the muscles around your vagina before your boyfriend trys to penetrate?
The first thing to do, if you are having that much pain with sex is to stop trying for right now. Take the pressure off until you can get this sorted out. Your boyfriend will understand if he really cares about you.
If you are not getting sufficiently aroused beforehand it will be painful. This may not be anything serious to worry about, you probably just need more foreplay. Perhaps your boyfriend could do oral sex with you or you could use KY gelly before he tries to penetrate you.
If you are sufficiently wet and still feeling this much pain, you probably want to get checked out by your doctor. Tell him or her about what you are feeling during sex.
Best of luck!
2006-11-20 02:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by taotemu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you know nothing about sex ! First of all, both of you should be relaxed. You should not feel guilty in what you are doing. And you should not feel that you should finish in 2 minutes and get out of there.
Find a place where you can be in bed for about 2 hours undisturbed, instead of being in the back seat of the car (or the trunk). Spend about 15-30 minutes in foreplay. (Do you know what that is?). Foreplay will prepare your organ to receive his. Let him use a lubricated condom. You will be fine !
2006-11-20 02:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by ben c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The girl should lay on her back. Then the guy should easily stick his dick inside of you. But let him know if you are having any pain then he should stop. Just let him go in and out a little bit to make it easy.
2006-11-20 09:11:28 · answer #6 · answered by wetcat2009 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I also had such pain at the beginning but then I used KY gelly and it worked great.
2006-11-20 02:08:33 · answer #7 · answered by green eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he successfully entered you or not yet?
I was wondering cause if he was able to enter you and you have pain it could be your uterus. Lemme know if he has been able to enter you.
2006-11-20 02:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax, take it easy ,are you having foreplay? Next step buy some lube
2006-11-20 01:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by tori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your ob/gyn check for cysts.
2006-11-20 01:49:42 · answer #10 · answered by rynay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋