Last week at a going away party for a male bartender at a bar and
resturant the following discussion occured. The bartender said he
was leaving the area because he gets letters demanding $19,000.00 dollars in back child support. He fumed,"it is the women
who are obsessed with having children", let them support them".
the men clapped. "Besides, he said, if I was a woman I would protect
myself". The men clapped and hooted. Should men be forced to pay child support? what do you think?
2006-11-19
16:52:09
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39 answers
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asked by
CODY
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
this question seems to be a good
one, look at all the answeres.will be
hard to pick the best one.
2006-11-19
17:59:54 ·
update #1
The male bartender said since people
keep talking about him getting a vasectomy,
please remind the women they also have,
tubes that can be cut, sniped, tied and burnt. He said women need to take
responsibilty before saying yes.
2006-11-22
18:36:18 ·
update #2
yes any body who does not take care of his kids should be thrown in jail and the key threw away!
2006-11-19 17:29:14
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answer #1
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answered by oldjr 5
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Right away I want to say that I think that the man has a responsibility to the child that he is the father of and should, at the very least, pay child support. That having been said it should be noted that we have several generations of men out there who have had it drummed into them that a woman's pregnancy is all about "choice".
If we accept that the decision to carry a pregnancy to term is the sole responsibility of the woman and that the man has absolutely no say it the matter the question needs to be asked just how it is that after the woman makes the decision to carry the pregnancy to term the man is now suddenly responsible for paying child support for the next 18 to 21 years?
I have expressed my thoughts on this, that the man has a responsibility for his actions, at work in the presence of younger men and have been told time and time again that they believe that if the "choice" is all the woman's then they don't feel that they have any responsibility what so ever. " Hey she decides that she wants the baby then she should have to pay for the baby, it's all her call" I have been told time and time again.
I'm not saying that this is the sole reason for the rampant epidemic of dead beat dads in this day and age and I don't agree with the position but I can also see where the logic of their argument is coming from.
I'm afraid that I this is going to be the way of the future. Men are being told from birth that they have no say in whether or not a child is born but that once the descision is made, by someone other than them, they are obliged to pay. With that sort of dicodomy I imagine that dead beat dad'ism will only increase in the coming years and single mom's who's choice is to carry a pregnancy to term will increasingly be left to their own devices.
2006-11-19 17:21:24
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answer #2
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answered by mjlehde@sbcglobal.net 3
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Should not these men also protect themself against having children if they do not want to pay child support.? Some would say and correct me if i am wrong, does it not take two to make a baby.
I do not think that just leaving an area will make your friend not have to pay back child support.
I think the question of the day should be HOW much should child support be. Yes, I think men and woman should pay to support there children but the amount of it is in question with me. I am thinking this from both ends.
I have dated men that have willing paid child support and have what I called half an income, while the mother of their child now had what I called three incomes, Her's from a job, The child support she gets for the child and the Boyfriends and/or new husbands. This I think is not fair.
I have also known woman that have had to get goverment assistence because the child support they do not get or that what they get is not enough,All this while they do work, some I have known have had to have two jobs. While the ex is ''living large".
It is a subject that can and does make people very unhappy and some pissed off. But where and who gets to decide how much child support should be paid. ?
2006-11-19 17:10:21
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answer #3
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answered by LadyCatherine 7
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Yes, I believe both parents need to support the child - the child did not ask to be born so it's not right to deprive the child of support from both parents. A father can be forced to pay child support but cannot be forced to exercise his rights to be part of the child's life - but for the child's sake hopefully he will do that. Yes, some women lie about using birth control, and condoms break, and sometimes women's birth control methods fail. That's why when people have sex, they have to be prepared for the possibility of pregnancy. Yes, the woman has a choice - adoption, keeping the child, abortion - that's biology. The man's choice comes before conception - have sex or not, wear protection or not. But he still has to be prepared.
2016-05-21 21:38:08
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Well, the bartender could have gotten a vasectomy! So now all the women can hoot and clap!
This guy is a loser. His ex and his kids don't deserve the scum that he is. I hope the IRS
gets him in the wallet till his kids are 21. Who the hell does he think he is? He's lucky that his wife wasn't Lorena Bobbitt!
Any man who fathers a child has a responsibility to that child. Yes, men should be forced to support their children.
2006-11-19 17:17:45
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answer #5
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answered by Mother Hen 2
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Yes they should as to anyone that doesn't have custody of their children. So, they say women are obsessed about having kids, well, it takes a man to get a woman pregnant. Also, they can't say if they were a woman they would protect themselves, they don't know what they would do unless they were there. There could be occasions a woman could get raped or taking advantage of at a party or something and they wouldn't be protected if they didn't plan to have sex or what about an under age girl, having sex, getting raped or whatever, a lot of times its the parent that has to get her some protection and a lot of parents are against it, then she gets pregnant. Anyway, just as a woman can be protected, so, should a man. Its not just one person's responsibility, I have heard" Any guy with a d*** can make a baby, but it takes a real man to take care of his children."
2006-11-19 17:13:13
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answer #6
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answered by ? 4
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Any REAL man would gladly pay to support his children.
PS - in Alabama there are no deadbeat dads (providing they work). All child support payments are deducted directly from the persons paycheck by the state and then ETF'd to the other parent. Texas and South Carolina are the only two states I know of that will not honor another states ruling on child support, meaning they will not take action to recover the money for the other party or jail a deadbeat. For shame...
2006-11-19 17:33:37
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Men should pay child support. If they didn't want to have a child, why did they not use protection themselves and better yet, not have sex at all which guarantees no bastards being born! Besides men shouldn't think that by giving sperm, that's all that they should contribute towards a child...a child costs money and the woman already goes through the severe pain of childbirth, endless sleepless nights, breastfeeding, being always tired etc. so only stupid men think that they should not have to give child support! If they want to place a penis in a woman's vagina, they have to take care of the head that pops out of there 9 months later.
2006-11-19 17:06:58
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answer #8
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answered by DrSH 5
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I'm a guy and yes I think men as well as women should pay child support. I order to have a child it takes a man and a woman. If neither want to use protection then a child is usually the result. I am raising my 2 daughters because thier mother decided she needed a new life without us. The courts ordered her to pay child support and now she is only about $13,000 behind and only has to pay $150 a month. Child support is a supplement for the rearing parent. Wether the money is spent on food, clothes, rent or even a new car for themselves. The point is the absent parent should have to pay.
2006-11-19 16:57:43
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answer #9
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answered by Dragon 1
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It's the men who are obsessed with unzipping their pants and planting their seeds let the men support the children they create. If the woman is the custodial parent the man SHOULD pay to support his children, his wife didn't get pregnant on her own. If the husband is the custodial parent the woman should pay support the man didn't create the children on his own. Child support is NOT for the support of the ex spouse, it is for the care and feeding of the children from the marriage. I suppose by the way of thinking of most of them men attending the party they wouldn't care if their kids went homeless and starved to death...They should all get a "father of the year" award.
If men don't want to have to pay child support they shouldn't unzip their pants and pull down their boxers.
2006-11-19 17:26:23
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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Lots of women in their stupidity think that marriages will last forever. Lots of women think a guy will stick around if he has a kid. Lots of guys think it is studly to have lots of children. And lots of people figure too late that having kids isn't at all what they had hoped it would be. Too bad for everyone, huh? Even the kid. Yup he should pay some child support, and yup women should be sure they want to stay up nights with a screaming kid...and be prepared to be abandonedand be able to support herself well, when the kid is about four (evolutionarily guys stick around long enough for the kid for forage for itself -- that's about age 4.....)
All this said, use this as a lesson for yourself....if you don't want 'em protect yourself whether you are a guy or a gal. If I were a guy, I'd never believe some babe who told me she was on the pilllllll noooo way.... And being a woman, I always took the pill.....
2006-11-19 17:01:42
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answer #11
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answered by April 6
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