Ok, first of all, I am gay. So, I planned to come out to my best gal friend today online. But, I first asked her whether she would support gay marriage or not (I said that there is this debate in my school, so I wanna ask her opinion on it). She said no, she would not support it. Then, I asked her whether she would be friend with a gay guy. She said yes. Then, I asked her whether she would develop a close friendship with a gay person (a gay guy or lesbian). She said no. I asked why. She answered that is because it is weird (but she doesn't know that me, her best friend, is gay). To be honest, I am hurt. So I changed topic and decided not to come out to her. But, should I still be her best friend?
2006-11-19 16:36:56 · 14 answers · asked by Travis 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
but how could I be honest with her when I know that she may not accept me?
2006-11-19 16:42:51 · update #1
She has a lesbian friend before, and she is not close to her...
2006-11-19 16:47:52 · update #2
You need to tell her the truth, but if she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, then it's her loss.
2006-11-19 16:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How could you NOT be honest with her???
One of the main reasons straight people have issues with gay people is because they think they don't know any and thus think gay people are like aliens or something, totally different from them...
They don't say Silence = Death for no reason...
Besides, do you really want to be friends with someone who doesn't support you???
Perhaps, all she needs is to realize that it is not some abstract concept but it relates DIRECTLY to her life and if she can handle it she may come around on a lot of points, if not then, well, she isn't a very good friend in the first place and you deserve better.
2006-11-20 00:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by D B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Travis ask yourself this. How long am I going to be able to lied and keep this big part of myself away from my best friend? If she doesnt accept you or reject you than she's not worth keeping as a friend. Do you really want to be friends with someone that is not a tolerant human being. Think about it. You are still the same person the only difference is you like man if she cant find a way to understand or at the least accept that than you are better off without her. Friends come and go. A true friend stays with you always.
2006-11-20 01:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by onelia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should still open up to her. She's your best friend. She deserves to know this part of yourself. And if she can't handle that, then it's best to leave things that way. She's not a true friend, if this would be the case. But if she does shy away from you, just give her time to adjust. This might be her way of acknowledging the truth about you. When I came out to my best friend, things were a bit awkward for a while. We never talked about gay marriages or gay couples for that matter. But when I did tell her, she was more than stunned about it. In time, things got back to the way they were before. Just give it time. If she's really your friend, she'll be able to accept the truth about you all in good time. Besides, hiding the fact that you're gay, you'd be hiding the best part of you. And you wouldn't want your best friend to miss out on that, would you? Best of luck!
2006-11-20 01:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, yes. Continue being her friend and if you feel the need to come out to her. If she acts or says that she cannot be friends with you because of it then ask her what has changed with you telling her.
She may already have an idea but just hasn't processed it through her mind.
I would say be the bigger person and that may change her views on gays/lesbians.
2006-11-20 00:43:29 · answer #5 · answered by wolf_n_carolina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she doesn't understand how wonderful and special gay men are as friends for straight girls. i am a straight girl and i LOVE all my gay friends to peices and i wouldn't change a thing about them. if she hasn't ever had a gay friend before, maybe she doesn't understand! perhaps you could try coming out to her and showing her that she IS close friends with a gay guy and you are the same wonderful persona nd friend you've always been and that you happen to be gay and that it isn't such a big deal.
2006-11-20 00:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by pickle_today 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be her best friend then go ahead but you should level with her about being gay before she finds out some other way.
2006-11-20 00:55:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is the foundation for any relationship, even at the threat of losing this friend you are honor bound to tell her. you're living a lie, if you deceive her. tell the truth, explain why you weren't honest and ask her to forgive you, then tell her if she needs time and let her have it if she does. sometimes you have to take a great risk for a great reward, if you truly value her as a friend, you'll respect her enough to stop deceiving her and have an open honest relationship
2006-11-20 03:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you asked her, you asked if she met a guy who was gay, would she want to develop a deep friendship, but you didn't ask her "what if a friend was gay, would your friendship diminish because you find out he or she comes out?"
it is her decision at the end(when you come out), but you should always offer your friendship
2006-11-20 00:41:23 · answer #9 · answered by Fabperson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, if she doesn't accept you then you'll need to find a new friend. Give her a chance before you end the friendship.
2006-11-20 04:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rageling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋