How do i approach him with this marriage topic without being too pushy or creating discomfort to his part? He is away working oversea and calls me every night for the last four years till now. He comes back once every year. He is a workaholic who loves me very much and wouldn't let me go even after so long. I do not have much money but i would like to abroad where he is and work and live with him but do not qualify the strict migration requirements in Australia. He said he's not thinking about marriage yet... Help!!!
2006-11-19 15:59:48 · 16 answers · asked by Alisa Grace S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am 26 years old and he is 33.
2006-11-19 16:43:55 · update #1
6 years is a pretty long enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. I have observed from numerous relationships that guys keep some women dangling; and then they will meet one particular female that they just know right away that she won't be allowed to get away. I think you two need to have a real heart to heart talk, but in person. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult, especially being faithful; emotionally and physically. Be honest, tell each other how you feel. I wonder if you guys seriously voiced your goals in the begining of your relationship. I'm guessing that you didn't expect to be waiting this long. Don't be afraid of speaking candidly, this is obviously making you uncomfortable as well. Life is way too short. Maybe there is some fear on his part that he hasn't expressed to you, something he thinks he would like to achieve before he settles down. It's good to have plans, but sticking to the exact order of those plans can cause you to miss out on some really great life altering blessings. Ask him if something happened to you and caused you to not be available to him , if he would regret not taking that step to marriage. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we no longer have it. Listen to his verbal and non-verbal responses. If you still don't feel confident and satisfied with the decision made you may end up waiting even longer. Are you willing to put your life on hold for someone who may just not be mature enough for that type of commitment any time soon?
2006-11-19 17:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by ---- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer!
A long distance relationship, seeing him once a year? Im sorry, but a relationship and love is based on everyday or at least frequent in person interaction.
Having a penpal or a phone buddy is not a relationship you want to be in, much less thinking of marriage,,,you guys dont even really know each other !
Being a workaholic, is that really the reason he doesnt have time to come home? Come on, Once a year.
That how often you see your ob/gyn, and I dont think you want to marry him....move on with your life....find someone who you could have a real relationship with
someone who you could go see a movie with, have dinner with, hold hand, hug at least.
this guy is not thinking marriage, or at least not with you, because he doent have any contact with you beside the evening phone call....you are just a security he has to fall back on..
Honestly, do you believe this guy has no life where he lives...he is alone,,,he is a man, you are a yearly visit...
He could be already be married for all you know.
Dont waste your time, and move on
2006-11-20 00:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by sandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been away for four years and comes back only once a year,
that's a hard relationship. Well, if he says he's not even thinking about marriage yet, then there you go, he doesn't want to get married, and anything you say or do about getting married will be pushy. I think that if you have been supportive for four long years and faithful, with only being able to see him once a year, he should see how much in love with him you are and how dedicated and loyal. I think you've waited and proved yourself long enough. Ask him straight out if he wants to get married and if the answer is no, then, tell him that it's time you move on.
2006-11-20 00:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you wanna marry a guy who u see once a year???. phone call are not enough...think about it....i know u love him but do u really think that this is enough for you??once a year?? and especially after 6 years of relationship and he doesnt wanna get married?? are you sure what he is doing over there??u not there ....do u have that much trust>>>
but if u still think that he is the one even when u probably know that u can do better, someone who will be with you physicly whenever u need him, hug you and kiss you wheneever you need it.... then....ask him if maybe it would be easier for you to move over there if you guys would be married- because u mention the migration difficulties..
good luck and think about the whole situation with your head, not with your heart....
2006-11-20 00:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 26 yrs. old and see this guy once a year? And this has been going on for 6 years?
Can I make a suggestion? Send him a letter
and tell him you are going to date someone else. Then do it. You are too young to waste your life waiting for this guy. How do you know that he isn't seeing someone else? Don't be a fool. Men tell lies. You need to get on with your life and forget this idiot. I bet you are a very pretty young woman with dark hair and a beautiful smile.(Am I right?) There are plenty of men out there waiting to meet you!
2006-11-20 01:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mother Hen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be many reasons why he is not ready... he doesn't want to drag you all over the world while being his military wife, etc. Or... he could possibly have someone else. Whatever the reason is, I would suggest telling him how you really feel & how much you love him. Let him know that you would be willing to follow him all over the world.
But... if he's not ready, then he's not ready. You have to decide if you are willing to wait for him to get ready, or if you want to move on.
2006-11-20 00:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by jae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am just surprised that once a year visit would be O"K with you?!!!!!!!! Don't you think you deserve more?
Sorry to tell you, but a healthy grown man will not have sex only once a year.
You sound like a nice girl that is wasting her years.
Find someone that will give you his 100%. Life is too short and beautiful to waste.
2006-11-20 00:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by tanyasiv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't want to marry my boyfriend ...ever. Which he should take as a sign. I do not think he is good enough to give the promise to. Sure he is great, I love him, he's fun, but I do not want his babies and I do not want to pick up his crap forever. Now if a better prospect came up I would consider it........
PS How old is he...that matters
2006-11-20 00:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years is a long time. I would say if you are truly happy with him stick by him but if he never has any plans for marriage and it is something you want you have to let him go.
2006-11-20 00:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by angelk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hate to break it to you but it doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship at all. I honestly don't think there's anything you can do to change his decision. He doesn't want to get married. Plain and simple. I think it's best that you move on and find someone who can meet your standards.
2006-11-20 00:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋