I have been marry for 17 years my husband don't trust me I have never done nothing to make him not trust me .

Question

can it be that he has done something and think I did to. Do you think he has cheated ? Buy the way he moved out a year ago but still comes around. He asked me for a year to see if thinks can be work out (our marrige).Do you think he has something going on with someone else? Should I even think of going back? He is verry abusive with his mouth. He tells me that no one will want to be with me because I have kids and talks about my acne and weight. Allways putting me down. I love him verry mutch I have 4 kids with him the oldest 16 the little one 11. Should I get him back? Has he cheated?

Answer 1

Understand that he will never trust you. I was home with two kids and pregnant and being accused of having an affair. Pleeeeaaaassssseeeee! He probably doesn't trust you because he is guilty or because someone before you ruined him. Personally, If this was me, I would take the out he has given me. I wonder if he trusted you to begin with.

I would leave, get pro-active, pilates, buy a new dress and get a new man! One who isnt' abusive and a cheater!

Answer 2

He sounds like a nasty dog! I would think he was cheating cuz he's accusing u so much of it. And as for putting u down, then why does he want u back if he thinks ur so ugly and fat? He is just trying to make u feel bad about urself and have no self -esteam so that he can go and have all his fun then when he wants u back u will feel so low about urself that u will b desperate to take him back! He seems like a real loser! I too have been married for 16 yrs w/2 kids and I am fat but hey! if my husband treated me like that I would say, I'd rather be alone than live w/him making u feel worthless. It is a crappy person that would do that to some1 they supposedly love. Tell him to get counsiling and change his abusive talk to u or get lost! He is counting on the fact that he has u feeling so bad about urself that u will do anything he wants.

Answer 3

It look like that he is a controlling husband. Anyone who's been in a serious relationship understands the need for trust and the subtle balance between give and take. Sometimes, however, control issues crop up. A person feels insecure, threatened, jealous, and possessive, and all of a sudden, control issues surface. The person feeling all those negative emotions suffers as much, or more, than the person whom they challenge, or try to control.
One of the most unattractive emotions a person can feel is jealousy. I say unattractive because of the types of behaviors that emerge out of jealousy, as well as the nasty attitudes and words that can surface. When a spouse gets jealous, he or she may say things they'll later regret. The green-eyed monster can really be viscous and actually cause a person's perceptions to be marred.
When a person feels jealous, all forms of control and power plays are exerted. From making statements like, "I don't want you to ever talk to that guy again," to "If you love me, you won't go out with those friends of yours anymore!"
The worst thing you can do is to put your spouse in a position of choosing between you and someone or something else. Even if they choose you, they will resent you for exerting control over them.
Possessiveness is a sign of emotional immaturity. It can stem from childhood issues as well as past issues in bad relationships. It has nothing to do with his cheating most likely he is not cheating on you.

Answer 4

Sweetie you are worth way more than this man. He is a cheater. Men who try and convince you that you are in the wrong are usually the ones who are in the wrong. Let him go, you have your children and they deserve a mom who isn't down on herself. Think about what you are showing them, they will end up with low self-esteem too. He only tells you bad things about your weight and acne because he wants you there when he needs you. Kick him to the curb and move on with your life. Asking for a year just means he wants you to wait until he has found something that will make him happy, don't let him. Talk to a trusted friend or even a therapist, you are worth it. take care of you.

Answer 5

Well, it was once told to me, that when someone else accuses the other of cheating it is because they are doing it themselves, and to try and make themselves feel better or less guilty for what they are doing, it is a form of justification on the other persons part. Now if he left you for a year then he was more than likely with someone else or dating, do not let this sorry excuse for a man try and tell you what you can and cannot do in you life, do not allow him to belittle you because he is a jerk, and this is his way of trying to make you feel bad so that you will always have to depend on him for things. He has a CONTROL issue, and you need to not allow him to have it with you anymore. Take your kids and yourself out of this abusive situation he obviously has NO respect for woman. Then once you do leave you do what you need to do to prove to him you don't need him. If you have an acne problem, go to a dermatologist and have them help you clear it up, get a new hair style, start an excersize program, and PROVE to this LOSER that he is the one that is going to lose out, and build that self esteem of yours back up that he has taken away from you. You also have to realize that men that act like this are the ones that insecure with themselves and again turn it around on you to make themselves feel like the bigger and better person. You don't want your kids to have to grow up around a man that makes their mom feel bad herself that will cause emotional issues with them later on. and then it will be harder for them to deal with issues, and if you have boys you don't want to let them growing up thinking it is okay to treat woman like this. Good Luck to you

Answer 6

by the book if you trully have not done anything then you must think he has done something and feels guilty. Abusive and degrading is a control tactic so you will not "leave him". say you need couseling and come see me in three months with some new information. I hope he is taking care of his kids!

Answer 7

get rid of him. you dont need a man that treats you like that. i found my husband and i already had to children who were very young. i used to also think i couldnt find a good man after i had kids. you dont need him and if a new man can accept that you have kids you dont need them either. besides your kids are older why do you need to jump in a relationship right away anyway start dating and only see men who treat you great. besides the only people ive seen that are that insecure are because they are doing something wrong

Answer 8

I need you to understand something that is going to be painful.

IF he is still coming around you then you have an opportunity to find out.

but ask yourself, doyou need an abusive man in your life?
despite how you feel about him, is he GOOD FOR you, apparently he isnt even good TO you.

MEN act like this, (im a man) when theyve either DONE this behavior themselves or have been thinking about doing it for sometime. IF you wanna know whats truly up with your man, and its gonna hurt you to know this for sure I promise you, go buy a DIGITAL voice recorder, they range from 35 dollars to 80 dollars and they can record up to 8 hours and MORE. And what you WANT TO DO is get the type with the VOICE ACTIVATED feature- you buy two of them. You place ONE of them on VOICE ACTIVATION UNDERNEATH the car seat- do this while he is sleeping if you have to,or whatever he does when he comes over to your place and use a small strip of DUCT tape making sure not to cover the MICROPHONE hole. if you dont tape it in place, it will SLIDE OUT when he brakes and he will know. THE 2nd one you place in the HOUSE where he usually is alone or where he usually uses his phone, be it a home office or a livingroom, whatever- making sure to have it set to VOICE ACTIVATED and make an excuse to go shopping or something without him, so he will feel SAFE enough to call whomever and speak sexy to them so you'll KNOW its not just a call to a friend- and it will take you MAYBE up to 2 weeks of doing this, and checking it DAILY IF POSSIBLE- take it out of the car and the house, and listen with HEADPHONES on while youre driving someplace, or someplace where you CANT BE SEEN doing this, and after a few days to a week of this, you will CATCH HIM , sadly, making calls to his lover or picking up his lover in the car and what they talk about.

USE THAT in your divorce proceedings and take him for HALF HIS MONEY for life- if youre married to him for THAT LONG youre entitled to a great degree of his earnings. Or hell , just go ahead and file for divorce, BEFORE he gets a chance to. Youre entitled to half his shi't and if you do this, change your locks and file for a restraining order because VERBAL ABUSE is the 1st step to PHYSICAL ABUSE. THink Im being crazy? DONT LET YOURSELF LEARN THE HARD WAY. Men who verbally abuse their lovers, end up HITTING THEM. YOU dont NEED this.
REMIND YOURSELF.

Answer 9

He may be doing that to you because he's having an affair and trying to make you believe it's your fault. Sounds like it's time to change the locks and find a lawyer. Sorry you have to deal with this.

Answer 10

Speaking from experience, I would say he has and is seeing someone else. If he is abusive with his words then he does not love you. I am sorry to say this but it is time for you to move on. Believe me, SOMEONE will be glad to take you in and love you like you deserve to be loved. You don't have to be subjected to his kind of tongue lashings and niether do your kids. CUT HIM LOOSE and get on with your life.