Should I leave my husband, cheat or what?

Question

He's inattentive, rarely at home, and when he is home--he doesn't seem to even notice I'm there. We've been together for several years and I've told him how I feel. I've even told him that most of the time I don't want to be married to him anymore. No matter what I say or do, it doesn't change his attitude toward me or our marriage. I feel like the most unimportant thing in his life right now. I've had the opportunity to cheat on him and it seems like a better idea every day. I know it's wrong and we should tough it out "for better or worse" but I'm tired of being ignored and unloved.

Answer 1

I think evet relationship has a time when one feels ignored and unloved.

Men have different ways of dealing with things than women...perhaps there is something thats bothering him..financial problems, problems at work, or something.

Try to invite him to dinner, dress nice for when he get home, he sees you nice and happy,,,eventhough I know its hard to do at this point...but try

surprise him with a backrub when he get home and is in bed....

tell him how much you love being with him, when you are together, without expecting an answer or getting into a detailed conversation..

be a little spontaneous, maybe leave him a hersheys kiss on his pillow at night, ,try what ever you can to relight the flame that was once there.

Dont cheat on him....you will only loose everything you have now and make your life misserable...marriage is hard work, dont give up...

There sre times we say things we dont mean and only offend our loved ones...dont do it....no matter how upset you might be.

Just try to understand that perhaps he just needs a little time with his freind, and that doesnt mean he is cheating,,,you have to trust your husband
and if for any reason he should fal,,,at least you have the peace of mind that it was not you that failed.

Good Luck

Answer 2

A person should not have to live their life in an un-happy state. Ultimatums are not the answer here. You DON'T want him showing you attention just so you won't leave. You want him to show you attention because he wants to. You COULD cheat but that is a bad batch of eggs. It would always be one lie after another and someone else might get dragged into the mix and be subjected to more trouble and drama than he bargained for. I say if your husband does not even know you are alive, then you should set yourself and him free.
We live, we love, we die. Don't miss out on the second step or you won't have lived at all and you will have died for nothing.

Answer 3

Instead of trying to change his attitude try changing yours. Maybe he isn't attentive due to your negativity. He works hard for you and if you had a little more compassion and understanding and less nagging and fault finding maybe things will change, but not because you changed him. You fix yourself and it will be truly amazing how responsive he becomes. Love him and tell him he is your warrior everyday and you appreciate how hard he works for you and you think that is the greatest thing he does, and he will purr like a fat kitten.

Maybe he feels like the most unimportant thing in your life as well. What will YOU do to change that? Would you want to be married to someone who says they don't want to be married anymore? How would you respond if someone said that about you? We say the most hurtful things to our spouses and expect them to just put up with it. Think about it and then have the courage to look inside yourself and change your countenance. You will have the best marriage (and sex) on the block...guaranteed!!!

Answer 4

Your marriage needs help right now. If he won't go to counselling, then perhaps you should try a trial separation. If there is still hope, then one of those two things should spur you both into action. If he still doesn't budge after a trial separation, then maybe you would want to consider making that permanent. I feel though that cheating is not fair and would just make everything worse. I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

hey nothing last forever if you have made up y9our mind and he and you are sure and both dont' have anything left then staying and cheating is just procrastinating eventually you will leave the cheating you will get caught on or you will fall in love with somone else and move on. save yourself both that and cut to the chase its not working out nothig more to say he won't be suprised by the sounds of it. and you both can make a fresh new start. happens every day my dear. sometimes people grow apart things change like the seasons..

best to be honest than to lie and make a bigger lie and getting 3rd parties in volved and someone gets pregnant etc.. then you will have really big problems.

Answer 6

Please don't cheat on him b/c a cheater is alwalys a cheater.
So sit down and talk to him searious how you feel about his attitude. I know how you felt that you no longer don't want to be married to him any more and thinking about cheating.
My hubby didn't pay attention or care about me and the kids.
We didnt' talk about home that much, so i found out that most of the time he watch porno, search girls and more. I always talk to him everyday and tell him how I feel. But he didn't care, so now it worse than ever we might end up a open marriage.
If i don't have the 2 kids with him, I sure I will get divorce.
So don't cheat.

Answer 7

Don't Cheat. You need to communicate. What is he going through? Does he feel like he's up against a wall? How much pressure is he under? Do you both have financial problems? These are all questions. Most men get into the provider role when they get married and lose touch with everything else around them because of so much demand they put on themselves. He probably truly loves you, but is under so much stress which will drain the life out of you and then you feel like you are in a rut and can't get out. Be his partner. His best friend! Help him out! Take some of his burden off his shoulders. Work it out with him. You are his wife! You two are now one. When one hurts you both hurt. Find the problem and fix it together. Don't say the hurtful things to him. They don't help anything. Those words you say in frustration are like chops of an axe to a tall tree. Eventually the tree will die. You are his firm foudation. Someone to lean on in troubled times. Men tend to hold all there problems in and don't want to burden their spouses with their problems. They are afraid you will think they are failures. They want to fix things themselves. But usually without help end up digging a bigger hole for themselves.

Answer 8

NO DON'T CHEAT!!!!
cheating is not the answer to your problem.
you really sound like your to the end of you Witt's.
there are 2 sides to every story. what would he say?
how does he feel?
you said he is rarely home, is he over the road, you didn't say what he does for his occupation. i just took it that he works out of town.
well honey just remember if you walk out, you'll be alone.
is that what you want. to star all over again with your life. I'll tell you first hand it's not easy. to be honest with you i was in your shoes, and i walked out. it was one of the hardest things i had to do. but it ended up to be the best thing i ever did. I'm not sorry for it. but like i say it's not easy doing it alone.
as far as you cheating, why would you even want to be with another man., after all a man is the reason you feel the way you do.
i wish you the best of luck in anything you decide to do.

Answer 9

If you are that miserable, it's time to get out. Unless you want to try counseling, which would require an effort on both sides, you might as well call it quits. I'm not a big believer in divorce, but it's better than being in a loveless marriage or cheating.

Answer 10

Why would you cheat, when you can get a divorce and look for the one. I know that you think that if you cheat and get caught it will change his attitude toward you, but it won't it will only add resisentment to an already drowning marriage. If he is not going to go to counseling with you than you need to file papers, and make sure that you don't cheat because that can be leverage for him.