How is life after leaving abusing hubby?

Question

Any women out there who have left an abusing hubby( any type of abuse qualifies)? How is life for you now? Do you regret it? Feel guilt?

Answer 1

Veronique, I wonder why you're asking this question, if you're trying to understand other women or if you're in this same position? If you're in an abusive relationship, please contact your local crisis center for help. They know how to advise you and get you safely out of your situation.

I left my abusive husband five years ago. It was a terrible, frightening, awful experience, but living in a house with a man who described how he was going to kill me and dispose of my body without anyone knowing was worse. Far worse. Today I'm almost done with a graduate degree in a demanding discipline and looking at job opportunities all over the world.. something that would've never been possible in my marriage. I have a wonderful, loving family that accepts me for who I am and forgives me even though I've broken their hearts with some of my choices. I love them in the same way, and am excited to be spending a family Thanksgiving soon, something my ex thoroughly disagreed with. I have friends who I love and whom I can rely on for help and support and who count on me as well.. friends that my ex-husband did his best to keep me from having.

Living in an abusive marriage was killing me, it was like being a plant that had been depotted and hung in the air, and someone misted water occasionally so I just was dying of thirst for love little by little. Even if my husband hadn't killed me physically like he threatened, had I stayed much longer my spirit would have died. The things that matter to me most in life, the people that are dearest, the relationships I value most, and the spiritual life that centers me; all of these I enjoy in abundance now.

My only regret is that I didn't aknowledge the abuse years earlier, and that I didn't end the relationship at the first, second, or even hundreth warning that he gave through abusive behavior.

If you're in this kind of a marriage, please seek help. Under "sources" I've included a very helpful website / phone number. For me, once I aknowledged the abuse, I knew I had to leave. I left. I didn't think about it, I didn't plan it, and I certainly didn't let myself get emotional.. I just went into autopilot and started packing. Far harder was staying away, but somehow through prayer and the love and support of my family and friends, I made it through. I thank God for giving me another chance at life. I hope that you are able to find peace.

Answer 2

I was married to an abusive man (you name it he did it) for several years, we had 2 children which begged me to leave once they got old enough to realize what was going on. I have no regrets or guilt about leaving and I couldn't be happier. Of course at first it was kind of hard financially, but it was well worth the sacrifice. It took me quite some time to trust any man again but I finally meant a wonderful man and we've been very happy for almost 18 years.

Answer 3

Why would you feel guilty when you're the one being mistreated? Life may be difficult for awhile after you leave because at the very least, your self-worth has taken a beating. . It will take time to get your feet planted solidly after a bad relationship but you won't regret it when you see how much better you feel about yourself for having the courage to leave an abusive partner.

Answer 4

i had to move to another state after leaving him. My dad had to come and pick me and my daughter up and i started all over. I DO NOT regret it for a minute!!! And no guilt whatsoever as for leaving him but i do feel guilt because i can't give my daughter everything i want to give her. I'm on a strict budget but it is well worth it. We are both happy and i wouldn't have it any other way. why I got with that butthead is beyond me and why i stayed so long is beyond me too. but it was the best decision for me and my daughter. that's what got me through all the tough times.

Answer 5

Well I came out of a marriage that lasted 17 years, that was 17 long years of being abused. Why I stayed with it so long you ask, well that was because he was so bad of an abuser that he had me brain washed to the point that I didn't think that I could make it on my own and that no other man would have me. We did have two kids together and they got to the point that they even begged me to leave him. He was even mean to them. I could write a book for what all he did to me that was bad. I did have help getting out, the state helped me and so did my parents. We ended up having to get the police in on it to help get me out. I had to put a restraining order on him to "TRY" to keep him away from me, not that it stopped him, it just slowed him down at bit. By the time he finialy left me alone, I had called the police on him a total of 23 times for violation of PO. I ran from him for a long time as he was a gun dealer and when he would come hunting for me he had the gun. The treatened to kill me several times. Even went to jail for that once. Man I could go on and on. He really has done some serious damage to me. I suffer from sever depression and I just don't trust men and also very afraid of men now ALL because of him. The damage is too deep. I just flat waited to long to come out of that type of abusive relationship. But I am soooooooo glad that I am out of it now. Just wished that I had done it a lot sooner.

Answer 6

Was married to abusing drug using guy ( I didn't use drugs). In hospital more than I was at home. Got pregnant, had son. When he threatened to kill me and his son., I threw him in jail and flew away. Dad didn't beat on my mom, Uncles didn't beat on Aunts. I knew something was wrong with our marriage. And that was that I was in it. Never regretted it. Re-married 3 years later, to wonderful man, two more sons, several years later.

Answer 7

you may desire to flow away your husband faster or later, quickly's the final. Even you admited that that is worst on your toddlers to enhance up in an abusive homestead. your toddlers could desire to be dealing with diverse rigidity too by using witnessing their violence at homestead. it may be greater useful for them to be removed from their abusive father. Leaving your husband does no longer recommend shutting him out of your toddlers lifestyles for reliable. Even after separation, your toddlers can flow to their father each and every now and then. as long as they're secure and away out of your abusive husband, then all would be nicely. for sure they'll miss their father, yet quickly they'll word that their greater useful off devoid of dwelling with him. And it is likewise significant for your self to flow away him as a results of fact he is going against your rights by using calling you names and putting you down. coach the guy which you would be able to get up for your self. considering that counselling isn't working for him, there is not any way out as nicely leaving him as quickly as and for all. reliable good fortune to you and your toddlers.

Answer 8

Great. No regrets. Just happy.

Answer 9

alot better i hope