my wife is leaving after being togeather for three years for her old boy friend that cheated on her in the past. I concerned because she hasent talked to this guy in 3 years and he lives 5 states away. in the meantime she wants to live with me and save money for a place with this guy and then take my son with her . how can i get her to realize shes taking a big risk i want to be with her i lov her. please help me save this marrage.
2006-11-19 14:34:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's a bubble or two off center, and without counseling, she'll stay that way. Really odd -- a lady leaving for a guy who cheated on her???? And hasn't see the guy in 3 years???? What IS she thinking????? Like I said, she needs counseling, and so do you -- together. If she still wants to leave, actually she'd be then doing you a favor..... You are probably a sweetie, and I'm sure there would be women in line waiting to meet a solid guy like you ---- but that will be for later.
2006-11-19 14:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying if you love something Let It Go if it comes back to you it is yours, if not it never was. You should accept she obviously is not in love with you, and she hasn't got the common sense to know a good thing if she is so quick to run back to a guy who cheated on her. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you care. If you act like you could care less she may wonder why? Either she will get curious and turn her feelings around or she will leave. As for the child tell her he stays with you until the divorce is final, that will give her and her boyfriend time to be together without the responsibility of her son. She doesn't seem to swift to begin with so once she is gone.....tell the court she left without her child I want sole custody......I wish you all the luck in the world, it truly is a difficult situation and your son will catch the worst of it.
2006-11-19 14:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by Sage 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to hire an attorney and tell him you want custody of your son. Otherwise, she'll be 5 states away and you won't have your son with you! Once she realizes you are filing for custody of the boy, she may consider going to marriage counseling with you. Find a good counselor and try to work on your marriage. Obviously, she hasn't been happy with you. Have you done the best you could to be a good husband and father? I wouldn't let her live with you to save money to be with someone else! Where is your pride? Tell her she can move out, but the boy stays! Get a good daycare for your son and file for divorce. Sometimes, the shock of losing everything will force her into therapy with you.
2006-11-19 14:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if she had stronger feelings for him, than she did you. What if she doesn't love you? But the big issue here is your son.
Check into your states divorce laws. Dependeing on where you live, she may not be able to take your child out of state without your consent.... I know b/c I wanted to leave my husband and go live in the state where my ex and my parents live... My children are much older than yours, however. They won't forget their father as easily as your little one can forget you.
If she's going to leave you, then fight for custody of your child. She has no right to take him that far away from you. She's being selfish, and I was too.,
2006-11-19 15:11:26 · answer #4 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and talk to her about your concerns for her and your son's happiness. Talk to her about why this guys is her ex in the first place...The same thing is bound to happen again. Remind her of the good times and the great life that you have built together, that you love and don't want to see her get hurt again. Good luck!
2006-11-19 14:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by Steph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...are you every bad girl's dream guy. We could cheat on you, tell you we only need to stay to save up the money to shack up with the guy we're cheating on you with and then we're taking your son away from you too?
Wisen up sweetheart. Tell her she's got to go, but the baby stays, it's not a package deal...she chose to cheat and leave the relationship, and then help her pack up her things. You might even be so kind as to call her a cab...don't forget to waive her off!
Because she definately needs to go, and you definately deserve better. I understand your need to not make this bitter...so that's why I said it would be okay to waive her off! (as in good riddens, but you don't have to tell her that)
2006-11-19 14:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, please talk to a lawyer. That doesn't sound like a healthy situation for your son.
If she's open to it, try marriage counseling. (what she's doing, if we're getting the whole story, sounds like desperation and she could still be interested in working on her relationship with you.)
If she's not open, you might want to try counseling for yourself. She's the one leaving, but you need to ask yourself how you might have contributed, and a pro can really help you sort through that in a healthy and constructive way. Best of luck to you.
2006-11-19 14:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by elysium 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her leave now, but she can't take the child. Then get an attorney quick before she takes him across state lines and you never see him again.
2006-11-19 14:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Well ok. Tell her to go now...leave the baby until she can make a home. If you let her live with you so she can save money to leave you......nevermind
2006-11-19 14:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesnt want to be with you...let her go...plus a child should never be taken away from the mom, unless they are a crack addict or something..just remember you are th eboys father and you need to visit every and any time you can!
Let her go. You will find better.
2006-11-19 14:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋