I am 47 years ld and have lived with a man for almost a year, only to find out this weekend that he is 10 years older that he told me and has children from a previous marriage. I am now living abroad and havent many friends here. I am very lost and feel alone. I am not sure if I should try to underdtand hes reasons or cut my losses and return to the usa.
2006-11-19 13:57:16 · 17 answers · asked by cheri d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How much do you care for him? Are you happy with him and your lifestyle? Would you really miss him if you came back to the USA and he did not?
People lie about their age for different reasons, low self esteem, afraid you would not even give him a chance etc. The kids from a previous marriage though, you need to find out what kind of relationship he plans to have with them. Why has he not seen, talked to them in a year? Ask for clarification on all the things that are bothering you. Communication is the key
2006-11-19 14:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by loveseat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't have your cake and eat it too...obviously, he didn't reveal to you his reality due to the pre-judgement nature of all us mortals! Whoever "invented" age should be removed from the history books, once and for all! Either two people get along and bond with each other or they don't...that is the only thing that you should be paying attention to---LIVE IN THE NOW and quit worrying about things that have nothing to do with the price of tea in China...if this guy was good enough for you to pick up and move then, what really has changed other than perception and petty thoughts. Think about it and please don't patronize the situation with the "oh but, he lied to me"...cause, he obviously knew you and how you would react so, thank him for the past years memories and enjoy the future one's as well.
Good luck with your thoughts,
BS from Canada
2006-11-19 14:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by bs49ers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you feel alone, your in a different country. You need to look past this man and see what are the best things for you.
If you move back to the states will your life be better or worse?
Can you get the same job, you should sit down and on a piece of paper write down all the pros and cons of staying in this country, what are your other life details. If the cons out weigh the pros then head home.
2006-11-19 14:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Colonyhkman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my Lord...just when you think you've heard it all. He lied about his age and the fact that he has children from a previous marriage. Don't you wonder what else he's lied about? Those lies are woppers. If I was you, I wouldn't try to figure out anything. I'd cut my losses and get out now. Good luck!
2006-11-19 14:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there to understand? He lied to you. There is no excuse for him lying for so long. He may have been afraid you would not date him if he told you his true age at first, but you have been living with him for almost a year. He should have confessed his lies to you much sooner. I would never be able to trust him again.
2006-11-19 13:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes definatly come back to the usa. You left your country for a man? He lied to you and manipliated you to get something from you. That's wrong. You cannot have a relationship with a person like that.
2006-11-19 13:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by Muslimah 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you should not have moved in with this gentleman, are you mooching off of him in exchange for sex? Regardless of why he did what he did, you should move out and support yourself and if that is not possible you should move back to the USA and get your head together before doing something so foolish again.
2006-11-19 14:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you went abroad to live with a man.... that you didn't have investigated - of course you should go back to the USA----hopefully you will learn from this situation....don't do it again.
2006-11-19 14:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love each other....try to understand his reasons and work things out. Oh, and make some friends while youre abroad. Peace.
2006-11-19 14:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you should come back, you being over there is like a trap. You need to be in a place where you have support, and overseas is not the place.
2006-11-19 14:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋