here is what's going on. my girl roommates with her cusin and her hole familiy live's in her area. she is now pregnet and i asked her to move in with me. she said that not till we get married and that only AFTER the baby is born. i said to her that the first six months of a baby's life should be with her bioligical parents so that the child can smell, hear, and feel his/her new parents. but my girl said that she dose not need me thier because she has her cusin's and familiy to help her with the baby! can some one please help me make sence of this. i guess to some guy's this is a blessing because now they dont need to be responsible and its all on the mom to take care of the baby. is she just thinking of her (being selffish?) or is it that she has to much pride that she is willing to sacrafice that baby to look good in front of her familiy? and if so is this the person that i would like to live with for the rest of my life?also she dose not like men to tell her what to do,its a fobia
2006-11-19 13:49:51 · 6 answers · asked by neoyork2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It is very important for babies to be with their dad and mom. You don't have to live together, but she must let you see the baby and maybe even care for the baby at your house sometimes. It's called Joint Custody. You are right to think twice before marrying her, though, let her figure things out a little. Give her some space. Do things for her and let her decide for herself that the best thing is to be a family with you. Maybe she's nervous about being a mom for the first time and thinks she can hide that from everyone if her cousin helps her out. You just concentrate on being a great dad. If she won't let you, the courts can make her let you, but that's only a last resort. Good Luck
2006-11-19 14:03:26 · answer #1 · answered by bathagent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, here is my opinion, and I am sorry if it sounds mean. You two are having a child together, what does it matter if you live together before you are married? You already had sex, and there is proof of it! Living together is a lot less taboo than that! Now, what I think about the first six months of your baby's life. I think that it is not necessarily essential, but will definitely make it easier on both of you if the baby has contact with both parents from the start. After six months, the baby will be attatched to his/her mother and will experience separation anxiety for a while when left in the care of the father.
2006-11-19 21:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by makin_the_same_mistakes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do have rights to see your child, and can ask the courts to set a visitation schedule for you if your girlfriend does not want to allow you to see the baby. So that solves the problem. It doesn't sound like you're going to be around this child too much otherrwise. Find a good attorney, and good luck.
2006-11-19 21:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask if she would be willing to have a private ceremony now and get married after she has the baby so your family can be there and you can still have a part in the beginning of your baby's life.... you will miss out on so much if you are not there
2006-11-19 21:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies need to be held and loved. It sounds like your baby will have a lot of people available to do that for it. If your girlfriend isn't ready to move in with you, just try to be as involved as you can. Your baby will know you are daddy.
2006-11-19 21:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by katherinernilson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her goodbye. It's obvious to me that she don't want you to be apart of her life or the babies. If she does then she will listen to you. Fobia? huh? sounds like an excuse to not listen to men at all.
2006-11-19 21:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by tricksy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋