Am I going crazy?

Question

My husband of 9 years is leaving tomorrow for a week's work trip, we haven't even kissed in over 2 weeks!!!, when I asked why we haven't made love even though he's leaving and we won't have the chance for another week or so, he made it out that I was out of order! and now he's not even talking to me. Is this right? We are both in our early 30's, I'm not a great looker, but not too bad either. Am I asking too much? Is there something wrong with me as he's making it out to be? Please help, if it is that I'm asking too much, then fair enough I'd apologise!!! Do you think he's up to something when he's out there? (he works from home and travels once a month for a week to report his work).

Answer 1

Be happy you get a week of alone time without im!
I envy you right now!

Answer 2

Well i think its kinda odd that you have to ask for kiss or about making love.. Iv always felt that these things just happen in loving relationships.. His moody reaction is typical of someone who is under stress of one kind or another.

You will know whether his current behaviour is different to whats happened before.. Think back to when he gone away before and to when he has come back home. What has he been like? do you fall into one an others arms heading straight for the bedroom, or perhaps a little more restrained. Has your sex life changed?.

Guys can go off the boil when stressed work issues, they get fixated on work and forget just how important it is to communicate with partners.

Partners very often are the last to know that something is wrong at work because guys tend to bottle things up inside and not talk about issues.

I should let it go this time and just see what happens when he gets back, . Don't be tempted to to add 2 and 2 together because you might get 5,, and there could just be a Innocent explanation..

Answer 3

No, you are not going crazy and you are not out of order. If he hasn't kissed or made love to you in two weeks, then I would say he has someone else - sorry. Don't ever think you are not a great looker, that has nothing to do with anything. Everyone should be loved for who they are inside, not what they look like on the outside, so how you look has nothing to do with it. He is totally out of order and I would dig deeper to find out whether it really is a work trip or whether he is going on holiday with someone else - hence the reason he is cool with you. He is blaming you because he is feeling guilty of something and I am sure it is because he is being unfaithful. Sorry, don't mean to hurt you but you deserve to know the truth and do something about it. Good luck x

Answer 4

I think you might want to sit him down and have a serious talk when he gets back from his trip. I know you are going to be mulling over it till he gets back, but you need to have the time to have that discussion. Ask him point blank if he is having an affair with someone. Sometimes that's the best way to find out. If you know him well enough then you will know if he is lying or not. I know it's hard, but trust me, it's better than worrying about it and getting all worked up about it. If he tells you that he is then take action..if he doesn't and you just have a feeling that he is lying, then honestly I'd hire a PI to see what's going on. Expensive, but worth it. Good luck!

Answer 5

The first question I have is where has spontaneity gone in your relationship? Why do you have to ask to have sex? Why don't you all just do it? Like when you want, if he is in the shower, jump in and start a bj. Or play around when he is getting dressed for work or something, or go out in the evening for dinner and make out in the car as a starter on the way back....Whatever, but you need to fix this part of your relationship pronto. Because planning makes sex boring, routine and a chore that no one looks forward to.
As to him having something on the side its possible, there have been cases of men who had wives in three different states...but I am sure you would see signs of other things that are questionable, bills, charges to credit cards, and or the occasional strange call to his cell phone that he has to take in the other room. You could get a hold of his cellphone bill and see if there are any routinely called numbers in other towns and just give them a call and see who answers.
Good luck

Answer 6

I think you need to sit him down and have a really good talk about where your marriage is going. Not kissing for over 2 weeks is really not a good indication of a healthy marriage. My mum is 60 and going through a very similar situation and she always said that if she had gotten out when she was younger she would not be so unhappy now. Your too young to have to put up with this treatment - find someone who will kiss you every day - you deserve that much

Answer 7

My husband often travels with his job for a week or so. It's usually a fun time for us just prior to his leaving. I understand why you would want to renew that bond with him before he leaves. You weren't out of "order" as he puts it. As a rule I look forward to the time I have alone to do things I would put off like spending more time doing "me" stuff or spending it with friends while he is gone. Yet if he were to shun me; I would instantly become suspicious. There's no way to know for sure if your husband is being untrue but you definitely are just for thinking so. Stop beating yourself up because your husband was an insensitive jerk toward you. If you can afford to and you don't have any obligations to prohibit you from traveling; I would show up at his hotel on the 3rd night and surprise him with a spontaneous honeymoon. You'll soon have the answer to your question.

Answer 8

Wow most husband would want to have sex bef leaving their wife. It is not wrong of you to think that way.

You haven't kissed in 2 weeks what I need to ask is what has happened in your relationship?

When he comes home you need to ask for marriage counselling.

But wile he is away you need to do some stuff to spice up your marriage and yourself have you ever heard their is no such thing as a not so hot woman just a poor one it is true...get a makeover get some new clothes join a gym, get sexy under ware take pole dance classes it might not change him but it will change how you feel about yourself... :-)

Answer 9

It's not you it's a guy thing...beleive it or not my husband and I a make love less than the average bear...once every 2 weeks. It really bothered me at first but then i was wondering what was wrong with me...an figured it out that it wasn't me...it was HIS problem. Maybe its not Rising to the Occasion like he wants it too...or he's soo caught up with work an you with the kids that neither of you want it at the same time. Quit worring about him pleaseing you....please yourself first and he'll come around...(take that in MANY forms)

Answer 10

Your husband could, also, be suffering from some form of erectile dysfunction that he is too embarrassed to address with you right now. If this is the case, you really should talk about it as it can be indicative of many serious diseases, like diabetes.

He could, also, simply being go through a period where he is uninterested in sex. For some reason, we expect men to be able to have sex whenever, wherever, no matter what - and they are just as prone as women are to experiencing periods of low, even nonexistent, sexual desire.

Answer 11

Your husband has a problem. He may be an adulterer but perhaps he is impotent or has some kind of infection. You must insist on discussing the issue! I would not post any more on the web if I were you. Some people may think you are inviting advances, And if your husband finds out it may make the damage irreparable.