my husband allowed me to be a stripper because we were absolutely broke... he was working and I was doing that on the side,,, of course men violated me on a daily basis...and he knows that.... after all it was a strip club.... is he wrong for letting me dance..I quit dancing....but is he still wrong? and doesn't that open the doors up for cheating?
2006-11-19 13:44:03 · 23 answers · asked by heart'sbreath 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't blame him because you were "violated". You took the job, didn't you? No, he was not wrong.
2006-11-20 08:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
YES it is wrong! I don't care how bad you need the money, NO other man should be looking at your body than your husband. And it can open the doors for cheating, and can also open the doors for prostitution as well. Because there has been found in some strip clubs that some of the dancers are prostituting themselvs.
I think you made the right decision for quiting that. And your husband should have respected you more and not allowed you to do that.
2006-11-19 14:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you made the ultimate decision in stripping - you got up on stage or where ever and removed your clothes - you had the option of not doing that.
You made a bad decision - learn from that ... pointing the finger at your husband won't resolve what you ultimately decided to do. Next time, go get another job(or both of you get second jobs).... I had to make a decision like that and I choose to work as a caregiver and I worked 16 hours a day 6 days a week and I had to do that for almost a year.
Both of you don't place much value on your marriage and that's really sad... when you do something dehumanizing it always creates a ripple effect in your life/marriage... you both need marriage counseling and learn to forgive not only each other but yourselves for allowing your marriage vows to lose value as well as the respect you should have for each other.
2006-11-19 14:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you cheating??? Sometimes people do what they have to to earn money. You did the stripping. It got you out of tough bind. If the men violated you, well, you were in that position with the job that you took, not that I'm saying that it is right. It is wrong. Your husband could have maybe taken a second job, whatever. Move on.
2006-11-19 13:49:10 · answer #4 · answered by winona e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage doesn't mean that someone has the right to tell them to do or not do anything. You needed the money and wanted to strip and he was OK with that. I think that's a pretty supportive husband. If you didn't want to dance and get violated, then you shouldn't have done it. It is not his job to tell you want to do or not to do.
As for opening the doors up for cheating, if you are going to cheat, you are going to cheat. I guess he thought comfortable in the fact that he thought he could trust you. Obviously he was wrong if you want to cheat.
2006-11-19 13:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can open doors. I would rather work three jobs than to have the woman I love stripping. But some men would rather have their women violated than to sacrifice to earn the money themselves. Being with a stripper is a male fantasy, I wouldn't want my woman to be another man's fantasy.
2006-11-19 13:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Allowed you to be a stripper"? Honey, didn't you have a choice in the matter?
You need to talk to a good friend or seek counseling from a clergyman--I think you need help on many levels, beginning with simple money management and extending to sharing decisions in marriage, as well as covering topics like, how to make money without being a sex worker.
Please seek help right away, and best of luck!
2006-11-19 16:57:55 · answer #7 · answered by ragged 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's ok with both husband and wife, then it is ok. I personally wouldn't want my wife "violated" daily, even though it's easy money (relatively speaking). If it helped temporarily for financial hardships, then maybe, but I wouldn't be comfortable with it. As for the whole cheating thing... That's something that would happen regardless of the stripper job. People that want to cheat, will cheat, regardless of their profession.
2006-11-19 14:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by JB 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most relationships families go through times of financial hardship...and lots of women go out and get a job mostly involving keeping their clothes on....it was your choice to be a stripper wasn't it or did he make you? If your upset about it now it's probably too late to not have done it did you ever think how this might have made him feel at the time?
2006-11-19 13:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it to be wrong because you both commiunicated and agreed with this decision on the basis that you were experiencing financial difficulty. I wouldn't want my partner to do it but every relationship and financial position is different. It won't open up doors for cheating unless you open your doors, if you know what I mean. Best of Luck
2006-11-19 14:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by jtgot1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing wrong with erotic dance, its a form of art and tradition....
I actually own a strippergram agency here in Australia, and the majority of female dancers we have are married, and even some of their husbands are strippers as well.
You have nothing to feel ashamed about for stripping in a club...its not liek you were having sex for money or anything that involves sexual contact.
Your husband is not wrong for letting you strip, after all, he did not force you into this profession... you had a choice...and to be honest with you, if i were you i would consider remaining in this industry... there is ALOT of money to be made!
2006-11-19 13:49:21 · answer #11 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋