Am I being unreasonable?

Question

I live on a military base in a 4plex. This last Friday my neighbor who lives on the second floor, decided to pull up a trailer and move furniture into her apartment w/3 of her friends at 11 pm! It woke up my 7 mnth old and I was very unhappy about that. She not only disturbed me but everyone else in the 4plex. When I confronted her about it she sprouted her fangs and gave me this crappy story of her friend's husband being in jail and ner needed to get her stuff outof storage and what not. I flat out said I don't care, isn't my problem and she should have been respectful of others in the building. She went on & on trying to justify herself and even started bringing up past issues I thought we had moved past, like her 3 yr old throwing a knife in our yard 2 mos. ago because she was "depressed and on sleeping pills and didn't know what he was doing". She tried to use that as a valid excuse! I filed a complaint w/our housing, but the she has been twice as worse now. What can I do?

I should have called the MPs, but I was tending to my son trying to get him back to sleep. She thinks that because it's a friday night that no should care and that she did no wrong and how dare I say she did. This has been like the 20th incident since September that she or her son have been doing something disruptive and I am so fed up with her attitude and lack of respect. I don't know what else to do.

This is not the first time she has done this. She has come in countless times drunk at the early morning hours and being loud in the hallway as she goes up to her apartment. This is not the first time she has woke up my son, it's about the 5th, but I can never catch her doing so until that Friday when she was in the hallway for more than 5 minutes.

Answer 1

File a complaint. It's bad enough that she's disturbing everyone but if she's going to act stupid... why even listen to her? Call the MPs and let them handle the situation; I'm sure that there are rules and regulations for everyone to follow. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

There are many variables to consider... and I think you may have "over done" your complaint to her. What I mean is... you should have simply asked her to stop making noise and then leave it at that. The conversation afterwards was pointless and only put you both at odds with each other. Also, telling someone you don't care about their problems candrudge up some hostility. I know you were angry and concerned about the sleep of your infant... but... a little more tact from your part would have probably gotten you further.
Something else to consider... military housing is not very condusive for keeping noises out. It was rude of her to move stuff at 11PM, that is fact. You were in the right to approach her about it. I just have this feeling that more happened which led to the situation escalating like it did. Follow through with the housing complaint... and if it doesn't get better and she starts showing signs of retaliation... speak with her husbands chain of command.

Answer 3

Having been in the military do this one thing document have a little flip book and document in it every time something happens with your neighbor other wise it will be your word against hers. Time date and who you called ,call and complain every time and who you talked to about the incident. What they said.
She could also be turned in for endangerment of her child when she drinking and child protective services could get involved .trust me they would intervene then.
Would the others neighbors get involved if they would back you up she would not have a leg to stand on then.

You also have to start going up the chain of command if housing doesn't respond ask them OK who's over you I can talk too about this issue. This is the way the military works.

Good luck it sounds this women has some mental health issues

Answer 4

I'm certainly not defending your neighbors actions in any way - in fact, I think she is in the wrong. But did you consider what the consequences would be when you confronted her? Did you know that she had a violent side? Did you know about her life that included a jailbird for a friend (I know, I know - I'm sure he isn't guilty either - LOL). Did you think about what the outcome would be when and if you reported her? You are not being unreasonable, and your neighbor has some serious issues, but if you knew that there was a possibility of these issues being raised, would there have been another way to bring it to light without involving yourself and thus creating a problem with your neighbor?

Answer 5

First, I agree and applaud you for attempting to handle the problem directly with her. I wish more people would do that instead of calling the police for every little domestic type disturbance with a neighbor. Most of the time when I answer these types of calls I hear the offending party say something like, "If he'd only asked me himself" type answers. Anyway, if you really want to handle the problem, go see the First Sergeant. My experience shows that the First Sergeant is on of the most powerful persons when it comes to dealing with the military and their spouses.

Answer 6

Are you still whining about this? Would you just cut some other people some slack...I bet she can hear that screaming brat of yours too, but I bet she doesn't report you as a neglectful mother. I think you don't have enough drama so you keep bringing this up. People like you should live in trailer homes in the middle of the desert and alone!

Just because you don't agree with me, doesn't mean I'm not right. LOOK at all your questions...they are MAINLY about your neighbors, doesn't look like you get along well with them either. Maybe this is why the MP's don't take your whines seriously. HMMMM?

Answer 7

Just call the MPs next time. If you have confronted her then just call. But be careful not to just look for her to do things that piss you off. I know that I sometimes do that . To be honest she is apparently a dependent and has mental health services at her disposal so her mental problems are not your concern. So if she is "Really" doing something that is disturbing the peace then call the MPs that is what they are there for.

Answer 8

Sometimes you should be more tolerant to others problems. Who knows she might genuinely have a problem because of which she needs to do her moving at that hour? Of course if she makes a habit of disturbing people than that is different, but if it is just this once, I think you should bear with her. Your baby can sleep in the day. I think it is the fact that you got disturbed in your sleep thats bothering you. Be more tolerant!

Answer 9

No, you are probably not being unreasonable, but remember that you catch more bees with honey then vinegar. It sounds like you have a tense relationship. I would think about the way that you "confronted" her. She probably viewed it as confrontational. Since she lives above you and you will probably have to see her, I might try to do some damage control.

Answer 10

hay i know its hard to do things but some pepole are only wered about them sailf and not others take a drunk driver for exampel he dosent cair unteall some one gets hurt tell the lady that u whant to say srroy and that it was roung to but in to her bisnes and tell her your turly srroy even if you dont cair and ant srroy it makes her fill like she was right and you were rong and shell quit this thing about it and then when you get a chance tell her how you fill and that you were going throu hard times and she will respect you and how you fill