I had sex with my best friends boyfriend. and now the boyfriend is using our get together as black mail. What can I do? I can't tell my friend!
2006-11-19 13:10:37 · 24 answers · asked by dd s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Get her to break up with him.
Tell her that you saw him kissing some girl at the mall... and tell her that you told him and he said "If you tell her, you will regret it. I will get her not to believe you".
That way... if she confronts him and he says, " Well we had sex.." SHe wont believe him.. you just smile and say.." OMg i can't believe you would stoop so low"
Then after she breaks up with him... You need to leave her alone... THAT way.. she will be better off with out a ****head boyfriend and a $lut for a friend. OK?
2006-11-19 13:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by yo mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 3 classical ways of getting a black mailer to shut up.
1) Murder - not a good idea because you will almost certainly get caught, spend the rest of your life in jail and your friend will still find out about the sex. Even if you don't get caught, do you really want to live your life knowing you did that?
2) Threaten him that you will have someone beat him up if he tells her. This has to be believable so you might have to show him someone who is willing to beat him up.
3) Find something you can black mail him about - if he had sex with you he may have had sex with other girls besides his girl friend as well. You could threaten to tell her about the other girls. On the other hand, if he's really willing to tell her about you and him he probably doesn't care that much about her finding out.
4) Tell your friend what happened. That may end the friendship, but what kind of a friendship is it anyway if you were willing to have sex with her boy friend? Or if the friendship is strong enough maybe she will eventually forgive you. If you do tell her, be prepared to give her one good reason she should continue to be your friend.
5) Pay him whatever he wants (or have sex with him or whatever he's asking for). Just realize that no matter what he says, he will always come back asking for more.
6) Do nothing - don't pay him, don't have sex with him - call his bluff. If he tells your friend about you he is also telling your friend about him. Maybe he won't do that. If he does tell her, though, you will have lost the opportunity to tell her yourself.
If he does tell her, you will have 2 choices, presuming he doesn't have pictures:
a) Deny it
b) Admit it and say you're sorry
Hope this helps.
2006-11-19 21:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by op_nick_linsky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were really your best friend, you wouldn't have had sex with her boyfriend. Now, you have to tell her before he does and chalk up the lost best friend as a lesson learned. When or if she breaks up with the boyfriend, you'd be stupid if you went out with him. You need to put yourself in her shoes so you will know how bad she is going to feel when you tell her what you and her wonderful boyfriend have done to her.
2006-11-19 21:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's really your best friend, you need to tell her...Her boyfriend obviously isn't a great guy and you've already went behind her back...Even things out and tell her the truth. If she's your best friend, you should help protect her from jerks like that.
2006-11-19 21:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by heartbroken 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your friend before he tells. It will probably hurt your friend but it will also let her know that her boyfriend is a lying cheat. Just be true to her and tell her how much her friendship means to you and how sorry you are that it happened.
2006-11-19 21:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by snowangelkiss_15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should just deny that you did it with him and find a way thats even better to blackmail him so that hewont and if hes got proof get rid of it!
2006-11-19 21:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by smallfrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its time to call his bluff. Tell him to go ahead and tell.
If you were really worried about her friendship you would not have done it anyway. Balckmail only works if you have something to lose. Does he suppose that he will remain her boyfriend once he tells . Then his hold on you is lost.
2006-11-19 21:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say but u cant do anything about it..the only thing to do is swallow ur mistakes. But at the same time if he tells on u he's telling on himself..so dont let it get to u. He might say hes gonna tell but if he care about they relationship he wont
2006-11-19 21:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetheart88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEY it takes two to tango. SO YOU tell her first & say it was his fault. he came onto you.
SO. really you did her a favour at least she now knows he is not to be trusted. BUT if he tells her first. then she will think it was your doing & he will get off scot free.
you may or may not lose a mate. but at least hes not blackmailing you. the rat,
2006-11-19 21:18:49 · answer #9 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldn't have had sex with him you need to tell ure friend befor he does she might not be as hurt if it comes from u next time have sex with a nice single guy good luck
2006-11-19 21:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by michelle b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋