We've been dating for a while now- over a month. Past girlfriends (we're lesbians) have never made her come, but I want to be the exception. Once, she told me it's because she doesn't want to act weird and make weird faces, but today when I asked her why she took my hand out of her pants, she said "I don't know." A lot of times, she stops me and then later she tells me I should have kept going. I just want to make her happy but this is very confusing.
2006-11-19 13:08:59 · 8 answers · asked by Very Worried 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
she's not shy or religious.. and I don't see a reason for guilt.. but thanks for the input..
2006-11-19 13:14:09 · update #1
YES, she is afraid to lose control! But she says that during sex she wants the roles to switch (since she is usually dominant) but I like I said don't want to cross any boundaries and she said specifically she wants me to be respectful but take control at the same time.. How would you suggest doing this? (I don't necessarily want to take her control away but I want to return what she gives me.)
2006-11-19 13:16:41 · update #2
Oh man. It's kinda scary how true all of this is. If it weren't for this stupid little site I would feel so alone. Thank you all. Well, to clarify one thing I am a girl but idk why I put myself as male it's not like I'm trans or anything (well maybe a little androgynous..anyway). So yea basically she was abused as a kid and she does say that she gets impatient with me because she does take long. But seriously she is my first girlfriend and I love her a lot but this is so confusing and I feel so disgruntled and idk I couldnt possibly imagine breaking up with her.. maybe I'm really attached and this can be a bad thing. (I'm a pushover......etc etc)
2006-11-19 13:32:22 · update #3
LOL,..I have been there.... she was abused as a kid.... if not outright sexually then by the culture's judgments and shaming of sex. Anyway it feels like she wants you to read her mind, right........ well, it does not matter what you do, you wont get it right,,,,,,it is how she wins.....if you force her she will be very angry, if you do not she will grow bored of you and treat you like you are weak.......but her fantasy is to be taken by force.......she does not want to feel responsible for the guilt invoked by her own pleasure. .. Her desire to be abused is probably driving her mad.
2006-11-19 13:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressure her to come.
This was my problem a few years ago. Don't fuel her fears by expecting her to come with all the things you try. The more you push it, the more she will withdraw, and the less likely she will even want to have sex at all. She probably can't live up to it, but she sooo wants to. She may have never had an orgasm before.
How about starting to make sex together just an intimate, sensual, pleasuring touch, whether u both come or not. Don't make it seem like after you've come, now it's her turn. Show her that you enjoy touching her even when she doesn't come, and ask her if it feels good, ask her if she wants u to try different things. Make things hot and steamy, but don't make her think u expect her to come flailing her arms and screaming out in extacy.
U can play the dominance thing, and still have great sex without the orgasm, and the more comfortable she gets with that (and the hot sex) the more easier it will be for her to let herself go. And the more likely you will get to experience her orgasm.
2006-11-19 21:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She ---like MANY women- is afraid to lose control.
She won't "***" until she relinquishes control; this is also a common hetero problem.
Just keep building trust---it is the only way (or get a "turbo" vibrator!)
2006-11-19 13:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by die_laffing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got to show her that you are someone she can trust...she has to relax around you and feel comfortable in order to let herself go.. maybe start with massage (totally non sexual), then the next night massage and kiss her, then the next night massage and kiss and touch her 'spots'. i think you get the idea... just take it slow and easy.
this is not uncommon for chicks to do this...
2006-11-19 13:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kridwen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shy or guilty or religion point of view
2006-11-19 13:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have bad news for you. SHE IS STILL A LESBIAN. only girls can make her orgasm. she is in denial, she will soon leave you for a female.
2006-11-19 13:21:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
as long as she's making you orgasm, her loss.
2006-11-19 13:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Aussieblonde -bundy'd 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be tactful...She was a former "girls on girls"...
2006-11-19 13:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by goose h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋