Is it normal to have resentment towards my husband when I caused the problem we have? He agreed to not work...

Question

I told him he didn't have to work because I make enough w/out him working but sometimes I get mad and take it out on him, why do I do this?

I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR HOW HE IS A BUM BECAUSE THIS IS NOT TRUE!! IF THAT IS YOUR ANSWER DON'T BOTHER LEAVING IT, IT WILL FALL ON DEAF EARS

Answer 1

I think it is human nature sometimes to be resentful if we feel tired or overwhelmed or unhappy about something. Often the people we take it out on are those closest to us. Don't blame yourself for the problem - obviously both of you agreed to the present situation. Why did he agree not to work? Is he still happy with that? Even if you were ok before with the fact that your husband wasn't working, it is ok to change your mind.

However, you do need to talk to him about how you feel. Resentment and anger can ruin a relationship, so you need to get it all out in the open and find a solution. Feelings change - what was ok before may not be ok now. Maybe you are more tired now when you come home tired from a day at work and he has been at home. You may now see staying home as an attractive alternative, even if it did not appeal to you before.

If you love each other, you will find a solution to this. Maybe you can both work part time, or maybe he can work part time or full time. Only you two know what is reasonable for you. But do talk to him. Don't let feelings that you keep inside and don't talk about ruin your relationship with your husband.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

We can't help the way we feel, so even if you thought you would be okay with him not working while you work, the reality is affecting you in a way you didn't expect. It may be from other issues, like having a stressful job and maybe you feel your husband is not contributing enough to the household in other ways. If he were really pitching in at home or giving you emotional support, that might make you feel like it's more balanced. Is he doing those things? If he is and you still resent it, maybe you can talk to him about what he wants to do with his life. What is he working on? Is there something he could do outside the home that would contribute and be fulfilling?

We can't always predict how we're going to feel or if we're going to change our minds. Tell him how you feel without accusing him of anything and be prepared for some defensiveness. You can probably work something out if you love each other.

Answer 3

you resent him because he is the man....and tradition dictates that the man is to be the one to maintain the household. you being the sole moneymaker can make for a very stressfull life. this frustration is many times gets taken out on your partner.....he on the other hand should have never accepted this aggreement...and you know it and he now seems like the lazy man whos wife supports him........maybe you both should talk and come up with a solution to get him back into the work force.....even if just working at homedepot.....good luck

Answer 4

Yeah, you should talk to him about it and say something along the lines of "Remember how previsouly i mentoned that you didn't have to work, because i make enough money for us, well i feel that the time is right for you to go back to work. Whether it be a small job or a larger job, i feel like you should start help contributing to our family, despite what i before said." Good luck, and i love ya!

Answer 5

It is normal to feel resentment . However, you need to talk to him about this and ask him to go back to work to stop your feelings of resentment.