My thesis:
Women in The Tanakh are subordinate to men; the Biblical story also portrays them as much more impious than—and a bad influence on—their male companions. Despite women’s somewhat secondary role in society, men in The Tanakh value—and are prepared to avenge any infringement upon—the welfare and dignity of their female relatives.
I am writing an essay about the status of women in the Tanakh (the Jewish bible)
is it clear enough, not a run-on sentence, etc.??
2006-11-19 12:43:57 · 6 answers · asked by maya 5 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Great start, but I would make the following changes to make your thesis more clear. "Women in The Tanakh are subordinate to men. (make this a period.) The Biblical story [what Biblical story? You need to address which story] also portrays them ....,"
The rest sounds good, but stay focused on your thesis. Be very clear with your citations, and be sure to end your essay by reinstating your thesis. Sounds Very interesting, and I wish you all the best.
2006-11-19 13:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume that you want the truth rather than just a pat on the back. This topic has lots of potential. However, I am unsure of exactly what your thesis is. Is it that women are subordinate to men? Or that there is a perception that they are subordinate, but actually have a higher status in their men's eyes than most people are are of? (point, counterpoint type of essay) Or is the thesis that women in the Tanakh are perceived as being subordinate? I am sure that the rest of your essay probably clarifies your thesis. Sounds like it could be very interesting.
The first site below will take you to a college handout on how to write thesis statements. The second site is aimed more at high school students, I think, but has a good explanation. You have a good start, good luck.
2006-11-19 21:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by bizime 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes... very good...
you can try the women in the Pentateuch.... especially take notice on Deborah, The girl who was chopped into parts and sent it to the nations..... good luck!!!
2006-11-19 20:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by bugi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be better if you add supporting details in the intro and start the thesis with Although..... that's the way I was taught
2006-11-19 20:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very clear and not a runon.
2006-11-19 20:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by izzyluvu69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it grand
2006-11-19 20:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by kp000000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋