She is a very busy person. She works nights while I work days. When we do have sometime she just wants to get to it. This usually is fine but she wants no foreplay. She says there isn't time for it. The last time we had sex there was some bleeding that occured. I am pretty sure it is because she was not ready yet and got some friction from the condom. I do try to touch and rub her to get the juices flowing. She won't even let me go down on her or her on me. How can I get her to let me prepare her for pleasure? Serious answers only please.
2006-11-19 11:55:40 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK here is the deal, there is a very very very serious problem going on with you and your wife. You have to question yourself as well here. How have you been treating your wife? Have you been a caring loving husband. Have been treating her with the respect she deserves or just treating her as a whore and a slave. When a woman behaves in this way there are underlying problems and it could be with you. You could be the one that is making her behave in this way. If you are treating her with the respect she deserves, and i'm not talking about talking to her nicely, what do you do for her? Do you cook for her? Take her out places? What do you do around the house? How do you spend your quality time together. If all you do is have sex, then that could be the problem. Do you initiate sex or does she? If its you, then back off. Don't ask for it, go out somewhere instead, break the habit, change the norm. If you do treat her with respect then you have no problem and the problem lays with her.
When the time is right ask her. Ask her when she just wants to get to it, no other time. You have to stop her in her tracks. You've questioned her before about it, but she has just fobbed you off by saying there is no time. You have to say to her that this isn't the first time you've behaved in this way, I've noticed that you've been like this on other occasions. This has happened on 2, 3 4, occasions, however many it is and say that you can't ignore it any longer, Ask her, what the problem. Say to her, have i done something to offend you. Am i treating you like Krap, if you have treated her with the respect she deserves then you won't be giving her the excuse to have a go at you, then she will just say no you haven't done no wrong, and she will say that its her, but if you haven't treated her right and my guess is that you haven't, then be prepared for her to give you a serious telling off. Say to her if i have done something wrong, then please tell me now. If she does let rip, then listen to what she has to say. Listen, then do it, but don't do it what she says straight away, let it be a suprise cos women love suprises.
If the problem is with her, then try to find out what it is.
Hope this helps, wish you luck.
2006-11-19 12:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by johnnymifo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A serious answer....as you asked for. Wow, that is a tough one. First of all....the bleeding is probably from what you think it is from. The lack of foreplay will not prepare a woman for sexual penetration. You could use other lubricant, but that is not the problem. You need to find out what you wife is feeling and why she is behaving like this. Is it because of the time crunch? If so, figure out a way to make some time. Take a day off so you can be with her. Call in sick. Mental health day as happen and I am guessing about now you are needing one. Romance her and tell her what you want, what you need. Remind her how it once as between you, but in a soft, caring way. Be careful that she does not take it the wrong way. Yes, it is a fine line.....but you have to cross it if you want change to occur.
If that doesn't work, you will need to explore other possibilities. Medical, physical, emotional......you may have to dig alot but do not quit. Your prize is the loving sensual relationship with your wife. Remember to keep the prize in sight dear.
I have some other thoughts....if interested, im me....good luck
2006-11-19 23:55:21 · answer #2 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife needs some time to wind down. Is she feeling that you want to "make love to her" or that you just want to "do the deed?" I agree that foreplay is the most important part of having sex. Apart from priming you both, it's great to have that intimacy with each other. I suggest a weekend away or timeout with lots of spoiling, romance, no pressure on the sex issue, lots of talking and heaps of fun...and good luck!!
2006-11-19 20:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by holdengal81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get her to recognize that there is a problem and get her committed to working on the problem. Foreplay is a large part of lovemaking and it creates the atmosphere of intimacy. There has to be some intimacy involved, not just hittin' it and it's over. Foreplay allows you to express what you want and it also allows your partner to feel closer to you. With straight out sex all the time, the feelings don't get too involved, it's just doing the deed.
2006-11-19 20:06:00 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well see if u can take a day off so u can spend some time together .. and then take her out maybe for dinner when u get her home .. give her a massage ... and if u touch her just right while givin the massage ... but kinda teasing ..and not really puttin on that u want some ... just massage her, and rub around her neck..ears.. alot of girls like those spots ..and see what happens ..if that does not work ..then maybe u bore her in bed
2006-11-19 20:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by lezbianflava 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is more at work here than lack of time. How about lack of affection. Explain that the amount being offered is not sufficient for continued marriage.
2006-11-19 20:14:38 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take some time off(both of you) and remember what it was like before all the busy things in life !! She will really enjoy the attention!! Bath, etc.
2006-11-19 21:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a bath run when she gets home make her a dinner, give her a massage that should get you somewhere, and if not there must be something else going on...good Luck!!
2006-11-19 20:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just sounds like she is too damn tired from work. so you need to get her away from the everyday routine. and also try telling her that you are her husband an this is what you need also in your marriage. how can one women refuse her husband if he says he needs something so simple from her?
2006-11-19 20:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the passion is gone and she wants to get it over with as soon as possible.
2006-11-19 20:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by ullis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋