I'm dating this guy but my family isn't happy at all. HELP PLEASE?

Question

I've been dating the guy who was my doctor. Weird I know, but true. He's a lot older than I am. I'm having a great time with him. I'm only 22. He's been great. We both are taking things slowly cause we think it's the best way to make it work. He's divorced. I told my family we're dating and they are not happy at all, saying that he's too old for me and that he was my gynecologist and that what he's doing is taking advantage of me when I know he isn't. He wanted to come home and meet my family but that's not possible now cause of what they think. I don't want to tell him what they told me cause he might feel bad. I really like him, I know he likes me, he loves my child, and I think we have something good here, but it makes me feel horrible the reaction my family had. I've found much more support in yahoo answer than in my family. I'm so confused. I want to be with him but I want my family approval. I want to think that they might change their minds with time. I need an advice

He isn't my doctor anymore
I'm an EX-patient, he was the one that asked me to look for another doctor ages before he asked me out

Answer 1

Congrats first...yea, it does seem a little weird that he was your gynecologist..but so what? if your happy and hes good to your kid then don't let anything stand in the way..I know if hurts that your family doesn't support you being with him, but maybe they will come around....try telling them, things about him that are special to you, like how is treats your child and things like that... they might come around once they see that he treats you good, and you are happy. BUT, If they don't then its their loss.
I would tell him, they are having a hard time accepting it... Keeping it from him won't help any of you.. He will just think you don't want him to meet them..because your ashamed or not serious about the relationship. Also, talk to your parents...tell them if hurts that the don't support you..and that y'all are taking it slow and he wants to meet them..ask them to give him a chance. Hope everything works out...I wouldn't give him up for my families approval... I mean, sometimes thats just impossible to get ya know!!

Answer 2

Wow your Gyno.! Well 22, you are old enough and I think that is is fine. I hope you have a part time job or are in school and with that it sounds like you are both very responsible and will be fine together. Talk to your parents,ask them questions why they do not like how things are going, let them know this! What a interesting but yet situation that I am pretty sure will end peacefully. If you do decide to tie the knot and spend time together forever , along with your child too! I see no reason why that is at all bad. I mean bad which would give your parents a say to not like this would be like, if you were 16 dropped out of school and already had 3 kids. Not that would be ridiculous! God bless you three and best of wishes! :)

Answer 3

Wow - that is heavy. OK - if you are uncomfortable about him meeting your family because they express regret over the age difference then maybe you agree. Don't you consider, yourself, him, and the relationship stable enough to withstand their idiotic stance in this matter. It is really wrong that he was your doctor and started dating you. This is not ethical and could affect his license to practice if anyone wants to persue that. You may both be of age, but ethics cannot be ignored. Then ther is the fact that if this is right, age really makes no difference and if you are 22 and he is 55 that is OK as long as he is not a mid life crisis that wants a trophy wife. If you want the relationship with him to go anywhere besides the bedroom be honest and tell him how your family feels. Any man - regardless of age difference, deserves your trust and truth if you intend to have a relationship with him.
Trust, truth, ethics, and integrity need discussion now. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

Personally, I dont think the doctor/patient relationship should go further than the examination room, especially for a gynecologist.
What you fail to see is, if he can meet YOU at work, what is to prevent him from meeting other women at work? Why did his marriage fail? Apparently you are so attracted to this man you are blind to making rational decisions.....such as why are you picking this man over your family? Ultimately the decision is up to you, but I have to agree with your family. You want their approval, but they wont give it to you.... and you say your confused. If you have already let this man touch you or light your fire....it is no wonder you are confused. You are only 22 and have alot of living to do. It is CLEAR to people who dont even know you or this man.....that he is simply taking advantage of a situation to get something he wants. What do you have to lose if I am wrong? Possibly more than you ever imagined. Good common sense says you should not have a personal relationship with your doctor, or your teacher. Make as many excuses as you wish, but when things go wrong later, you will wish you had listened to COMMON SENSE! Remember this... "an ounce of prevention...... a pound of cure." Dont let your child become too attached to anyone other than his real father. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I imeediately agreed with your parents when I started reading your post. But then when you said he is good to your child, I changed my mind. A good man is hard to find, at any age.

Try to be in your parents shoes for a minute - they think he is a lecherous pig out to get. After some time passes, if he is still a good man, they may warm up a little. DON'T PUSH them. They won't believe you no matter what you say. Just mention good things he does here and there and leave it at that. You may have to endure some steam for a while but it's only because they think like I did - that he's using you.

Just be sure he's not.

Answer 6

That just shows that your family cares about you-im not saying they never have-but they just want whats best for you. I would tell them that they are just going to have to deal with the fact that your together. What you need to do,is when he does something nice for you,tell your parents. It may seem like bragging,but hey,you're trying to make a point. Tell them thats the way its going to be a while before anything happens so they don't worry abouy you going too fast. Tell them that thats the way it is(in a nice way) and hope for the best!!! Hoped I helped!!!

Answer 7

From my experience, I know that families are not always accepting of new significant others. I know that this is hard, but maybe if they meet him then they will change their mind. It took my husbands parents over a year before the liked me when we were dating, but they eventually came around. If he is something that you are serious about you should introduce them. If you are happy with him, stick it out, they will come around..

Answer 8

Geez. This is a tough one.

It would help if we knew how much older he was and what his family situation is ... does he have kids?

Here's the thing: it's incredibly unethical for a doctor to date his patient... and it seems especially true of your OB/GYN.

I think it's important that you tell him your family's opinion. And.... I think it would be interesting to ask him if this was happening to his sister, what would he suggest?

Good luck to you... give us more details.

Answer 9

After reading the first few sentences this is too yucky.

I don't think this is appropriate for a doctor to date his patient....especially a GYN.

Answer 10

You need to explain to your family that you are entitled to your type of boyfriend. Your family wants you to be happy. And tell them you are happy with your boyfriend. I wish you the best of luck with your problems.