What is the best approximate age at which to "come out"?

Question

I think it probably helps to have enough maturity to cope with the challenges of being GLBTQ, but it also helps to find supportive peers as early in life as reasonably possible.

So at about what age do you have the best balance of maturity & support to vacate the closet?

.

Hmm... Threatened with hell, lectured about sexual morals by someone who believes 1950s television actually described American life, and someone who doesn't understand the term "coming out." Had any of you three actually considered ANSWERING the question?

BTW - I came out in 1975 (at age 20), so this is not about me. Things have changed in the last 30 years, and I wondered what people considered optimal in the current social environment.

Answer 1

Late '20's? By that time most people have seen enough of life to know what it's about.

Like you say, depends on maturity.

Answer 2

Umm... i came out when i was 15. It really varies from person to person though. People recognize their sexual desires at different times and grow up in different social environments that may or may not tolerate unconventional sexual expression. I have a hard time imagining someone younger than 14/15 being ready to come out, but that's probably just bc that was when i was ready. I've met a few people who told their parents that they're gay before they were ten years old...

Answer 3

It depends on the environment you are in. If you are surrounded by people telling you God will condemn you to hell, it may be a good idea to come out after you have moved out of the house. Some parents may sense it and be pretty open about it. If that is the case, you should come out when you are ready. I am 36 and I still haven't come out. I told myself that my time will be when I settle down with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. But that's just me. It depends on the individual. Any age is find under the right circumstances. It's probably a good idea to have a support group lined up.

Answer 4

It all depends on the person, I came out to my sister at the age of 15 in 1975, but was never in the closet really. I came out to everyone else when I was 18, and never looked back.

Answer 5

There is no ideal time that fits everyone. Someone who grew up in a supportive environment could come out in their teens. Others who come from religious conservative backgrounds might best be served coming out in their 20s. Sadly, some may never have what is needed to come out.

I found it easy to come out in my mid teens, but I grew up in a home where I never felt pressure to conform. I also grew up in the age of the internet when access to information is readily available (not Yahoo Answers), an era when gay doesn't have the stigma it did 10 or 20 years ago.

Human beings are not as fragile as we pretend we sometimes are. A gay 14 year old will adapt to his new awareness quick enough, and as we see on these boards, maturity isn't something that necessarily comes with age. We come out on our individual clocks, and not some arbitrary age.

Answer 6

any age as long as you are defently ready. Youre question should be when do I think I am ready to come out. Well my friend you need to prepare yourself. First you must be 100 % prepaired for not finding what you expected after you come out, once you realise that you will have 4-5 partners and you have to admit that you didnt come out you just made a mistake but is cool you have to be cool with it we are all making mistakes this is how we learn and get a personality. You need to experiment my friend see how it is but be prepared to admit that is not working and start something else, You will be happy in the end you will find something that makes you happy.

Answer 7

well i beleive there is no proper age, its a highly personal choice. i do however encourage people to be independant before doing so, you need to be able to stand on your own two feet, many a doting parent have, beaten, disowned, or otherwise harmed thier child when confronted with the truth. other than that try to have a support group in place, other friends or relatives you KNOW you can count on for emotional support. good luck!!!!

Answer 8

I don't think there is one best age for everyone, I think it depends on your circumstances, and the kind of people you have around you.
I came out at school when I was 12, (because I was too young to know it might not be a good idea!), and to my parents when I was 17, only to find out they'd guessed years before.
I have an idea that the longer you've been in the closet, the harder it might be, but it's still got to be a matter of very careful personal judgment, and not something that can be set as a general rule.

Answer 9

it really depends on you and the environment in which you live. if you are comfortable with who you are, and feel comfortable that the people you wish to come out to will be accepting, then do it when you feel ready.
I "came out" to myself at 18, but I didn't know anyone at all who was gay. and I had no idea if my family would accept me. I was in college and living at home, and couldn't afford to move out then. not until I was older, and worked full-time and had my own place, did I start coming out to people. and when I finally came out to my family, I found they accepted me for who I am.

Answer 10

probably mostly around 20's, but also whenever you feel most ready, it helps quite a bit having supportive peers, and just as long as you feel comfortable with yourself it really does not matter all that much

Answer 11

that is ur choice .... i still have not come out yet..but for me it was not about tellin people .. it is just my business... i dont bring it around my family...cause i dont want to..not because i am ashamed ... so when u are ready ..that is when u should come out..but make sure u are doin it for u.. and u also know the aftermath of doin so..once it is done..there is no takin it back