My bf and i have on and off since freshmen year of highschool we met in middleschool but hated each other till the end of 8th grade. I will be turning 24 years old soon and i really want to get married and to start a family. It took months of convicing to get him to ask me to marry him. He does not believe in it his parents went through a nasty divorce.When we first started talking about wether we wanted kids or not he said no and i said yes i wanted kids then he said well maybe i have to think about it?I found out last week he had a vasectomy done last year and never told me.I feel heart broken i have always wanted kids and i have been getting the baby itch recently. Make matters worse he does not even seem into getting married says he just gave in to shut me up what do i do?
2006-11-19 10:28:10 · 15 answers · asked by Jessie L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To comprimise he said we can just get a married by a judge no real ceremony and for child issue i can be artificially inseminated by a donor just so long as i pay for the child completly and the child never calls him dad?
2006-11-19 10:30:17 · update #1
immature jerk, forget him, you were right in middle school to hate him.
2006-11-19 10:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by longroad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this guy has some real issues here. Hes definitely totally opposite of you. What I read here is you pushing him into what you want and hes agreeing to keep the peace. Hes not ready for marriage or the family life and really wants no part of it. To make sure he has no family he had the operation done. You would be best to break it off here and now and find someone else who shares your dreams and they are out here. Staying with this guy especially after youve forced him into things would surely lead to disaster and a seperation of the ways. You just need to find a better Mr. Right and let this guy find someone else whose his type. Good luck
2006-11-19 10:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
. Are you absolutely sure this is the man you want? He lied to you that is never a way to start anything especially a marriage. He sounds as if he really needs to seek professional help.
A child needs a commitment from both its parents no matter its entry into life.
2006-11-19 13:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he's as serious about the relationship as you are. Why just settle? It's a big deal if you want kids and he can't have any. Wouldn't you want someone to be excited about marriage instead of just giving in, as it sounds like he is? You two may be great as bf/gf, but maybe aren't suited for each other as lifelong partners.
2006-11-19 10:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by animal_mother 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a bad situation. Leave him. You've both grown since highschool and it doesn't sound like it's been in the same direction. As crazy as it sounds, you will find someone who has the same dreams and interests as you and be much happier. Move on. Having a child in that situation won't make it any easier.
2006-11-19 12:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do yourself a favour and get rid of this man.....you want a husband and a family I hear you saying you will get neither of these with this man....he wants nothing you do..you need to talk to a counsellor about this even maybe with him really talk or maybe just read what you typed 10 times.....
You have a long relationship with this man but this isn't love on his side. You deserve all your dreams....got get them with a man who wants to marry you even in a church with a big dress and suit etc. who wants to have kids with you who will give you his sperm and not run around behind you back getting fixed up...You deserve more than this road...
2006-11-19 10:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please tell me you're kidding? Why would you WANT to marry someone who's lied to you, is cheating you of the life you deserve and who has already told you he doesn't want to marry you? Get out of there! Go! Find someone worthy of you. There are a lot of guys out there who WANT to be fathers and with families? Run like heck away from that guy. Get a life that is what you want, not a compromise with a lying jerk!
2006-11-19 10:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING !?!?!?!?!?!
He's hidden the vasectomy from you...what else has he done? He doesn't sound like husband material to me. Get out and find a real man who has the same dreams and plans for the future that you do.
2006-11-19 10:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I think that you need a wake up call,It sounds to me that he is not interested in you from the start,so why don't you give it up and find someone that really cares about you and your needs and what you want out of life.
There is to many people in this world to be stuck with someone that isn't willing to be with you on there on free will.
There is someone in the real world that is just right for you and i don't think the one that your trying out for is the one for you regardless of how you may feel about him there is someone out there that is just right and made for you to share a life with.
surch your heart and think about it do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that don't care about the way that you feel I know that I wouldn't.
2006-11-19 10:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry honey! He is a LOSER!!! It sounds as if he doesn't give a _ _ _ _ about you so why would you want to marry him??? If he doesn't want to be your husband why would you want him to be. NO WAY IS THIS GONNA WORK!!! Sorry!!! Find a man that cares about you and respects you and wants you to be HAPPY. You are worth it and DESERVE to be HAPPY in life!!!
2006-11-19 10:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by Andrew P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want you. Find somebody who wants to share the same dreams with you.
2006-11-19 10:41:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋