Me and my hubby married for 8 yrs with 2 kids. We have trouble with our marriage for 15 mos. Last yrs my hubby always on the computer play pokerparty until 7am. He didn't care about me and the kids. We always have a fight in the middle of the night. I asked him not to play pokerparty b/c i know that it will end our marriage.
But he never listen to me. And I checked his email and I found out that he thought about cheating on me early this yrs. I read some email that he wrote to other women. so now I don't have any feeling with him. So I told him that he could have other women out there but he have to promise to me that he will not get divorce until the kids is older. So we have an open marriage. But after I told him that He was online all the time search for women to have sex.
I just know that he will meet a lady on NOv 28 for a drink.
Do you think that he will have sex with her? If he still love me would he do that.
2006-11-19 10:23:04 · 15 answers · asked by prettysweetrite 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like your husband has some sort of internet addiction, which I have been hearing a lot about lately. That, or maybe a porn/sex addiction...that would explain why he is on the computer all the time, but that is only if he is going on porn sites.
You are in a tough situation. I personally do not think he is treating you with the respect and love that you deserve right now. And if I were you, I would not let him have sex with other women, because that is going to hurt you even more, and you will come to resent it. Plus, you could catch some STD or disease from your husband, if he doesn't use protection.
Is there some way you two could go to a marriage counselor? I would sit down with him and ask him about his priorities. Would he be willing to stop cheating and stop going on the computer? Is he willing to divorce you if he has to give up these behaviors? What are you willing to put up with.
You need to think about you and your kids right now. He is not treating you the way you deserve. I would suggest he get help, and if he refuses, I would honestly begin to think about a separation. If that is not possible, due to finances, I would suggest going to a counselor to help you sort out what you want to do. Good luck.
2006-11-19 10:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he is having an affair and now have an open marriage. What are you thinking? You have kids and want to stay together for them? Come on now be serious. Of course if he meets this woman he is going to have sex you opened Pandora's box. The problem is now that you have made a pact he knows that once the kids are grown your marriage is over. Let me inform you its over now.
Get yourself a divorce and live your life. Let him go and who knows there may be some wonderful guy out there just waiting for you to appear. The kids survive divorce and yours will too. But for crying out loud close Pandora's Box and move on. This is not a healthy relationship for you. I too play poker on line but I only torment people I play against. I don't make friends in the poker rooms.
After all I am there to win not to make friends. And I am also divorced for many years now so I think I can do as I please. But at the same time I started yahoo answers while I play poker too. So don't think that poker killed your marriage your husband did that all by himself. He stepped across the line.
I wish you luck and hope that I helped some.
2006-11-19 18:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by groundpilot43061 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Er. You are in a bad situation. I think opening your marriage up was a terrible idea for your relationship. You two need counseling, NOW. Your husband may need gambling help.
But to answer your question, if he meets the lady he will have sex with her. Does he love you? Probably not. Do you have room to complain if he has sex with her? Not really since you opened the marriage up, and in your case it is the death knell to your marriage.
If your marriage has this poor of trust and communication, kids or not, you are better apart than together.
2006-11-19 18:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he's meeting someone in November for a drink; You then ask if we think they'll have sex & if he still loves you would he do that? I'm surprised you even have to ask that question. Would you behave like that against someone you loved?
Wake up!
If your Husband loved you he wouldn't have allowed things to go this far in your relationship in the first place. Don't be stupid & stay with him, this will have a really bad effect on your Children, If you want to be a doormat to a Guy, that's entirely your business, but you don't have the right to teach your Children how to have a shitty life.
You'll end up having no respect yourself; your Children will have no respect for you. but worse still; Your Children will have a really difficult time forming healthy relationships when they grow into adults. if you owe them one thing, you owe them the best start possible.
I know I'm coming over a bit hard here& I'm sorry for that, but there's no easy way of putting this. You don't need sympathy....that's not going to help you at all.
You need to act!
2006-11-19 19:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An emotional affair is defined as expressing thoughts, ideas, deep feelings, emotions, or sharing experiences normally reserved for spouse with another person or persons. An emotional affairs differs from a physical affair in that it is not initiated for simple sex. Emotional affairs are often initiated when one spouse is not receiving emotional support from the other spouse and seek fulfillment from another person. Emotional affairs are often viewed as being as devastating to a relationship as an affair that involves only sex. However, some argue that emotional affairs are more devastating to relationships because even though many relationships can survive when one party is not being sexually fulfilled, most cannot survive when one of the parties are not having their emotional needs met. I can see that you are very unhappy, and believe me if you intend to restore your marriage you need counseling together with your husband. Open ended marriage is not a marriage when one person is cheating, and the other suffers. It is arrangement when both have sexual pleasure with partners other then spouse. Does it make sense for you?
So basically it is not important whether meeting with the lady for drinks leads to sex it is very damaging no matter what.
2006-11-19 18:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if he'll have sex with her, depends on the chemistry.
You gave him permission for this behavior when you told him he could have other women, right? Maybe you didn't mean it and maybe you were just in a desperate situation at the time but the fact is your partner wants to experience other women. Is this what you truly want? To stay married for the kids? Do you want a partner that you respect or a room mate?
2006-11-19 18:32:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is doing that kind of thing, you don't want that man to influence your children. You deserve to be loved, cherished and respected. If the only reason you are staying with him is your children, then you need to look at that as a reason to leave even sooner. Do you really want someone who would treat you like that to pass that kind of thing on to you children? you deserve better than that, they deserve better than that. If he is doing that kind of thing, it is disrespectful and wrong. Leave him behind and go somewhere far away, where you will be better off. you are a beautiful and special person, don't let some loser treat you otherwise, and your children have the whole world opening up before them, don't let him take that away from them.
Good luck,
Savage
2006-11-19 18:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by savage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you say something you obviously didn't mean.....why tell him you stay have open marriage and it will all be fine...because we all know it won't. Why say you have no feelings for him than go on about if only he loved you. You want to stop him meeting this woman than you do You say to him the truth you love him still want to work it out you need counselling and in counselling you bring up his poker stuff. Or you end it no kid wants to be in fighting house and cheating house believe me many have told me that.
2006-11-19 18:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by lol_des 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to give him the boot to the curb. I will share with you that my parents stayed in a loveless marriage for the sake of us kids, but we knew why they were together and grew up feeling guilty and miserable. Sue him for child support and go find a life that will make you happy. If he has visitation, he will probably spend more time with the kids than he does now.
2006-11-19 18:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh great day in the morning....give this jerk a divorce. What kind of good is he for you or for the kids if this is what he's doing. You say you don't have any feeling for him....then why do you care if he will have sex with her...or if he still loves you....
Do you plan on keeping this idiot until you end up with an STD?
DUMP HIS A*S*S now!
2006-11-19 18:31:56 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋