I care about him a lot and it doesn't really bother me, but I would like to experience the simple pleasures of having sex. I do get this pressure that feels like I want to , but then it never comes, I never come. it almost feels like I have to go to the bathroom, but once we're done it goes away, whats up with that? Does anyone have this problem, or have had this problem?
PS. the oral sex is great but i don't come then either. or maybe he just is not doing it long enough for me to come. I don't know, I'm confused! HELP!
2006-11-19 10:01:08 · 7 answers · asked by clbell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You partner can only do so much for you. Sex is only partially instinctive, the rest is learned. Usually the man and woman know ahead of time how to achieve pleasure (usually through masturbation). Once you have discovered what you like, you try to explain this to your partner. After a little practice and some necessary adjustments, you'll be able to pleasure one another.
Also, remember that sex is not a "performance" and an orgasm is not necessary for sex to occur. Sex is a very close time that you have with your partner. The closer you are emotionally, the more relaxed and comfortable you will be during sex. Remember to have fun, laugh a bit, and just enjoy yourself. If you have an orgasm, then that's great, and if you don't, well you'll just have to practice some more.
I find that if you focus more on pleasuring your partner, then you tend to pay less attention to what you're "suppose" to be feeling. You relax, let your guard down, and stop anticipating when you're pleasuring the other person. Next thing you know, you've become part of his/her experience too.
2006-11-19 10:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The irony about having an orgasm with a partner is that you have to be able to get yourself there first. Make sure you are masturbating and know exactly what you like. Lots of pressure, little pressure, which side is most sensitive, etc. When you're at expert at doing it yourself, then you need to feel free to communicate this with your boyfriend. You may even want to have a conversation about it, outside of the bed, where you give him all the details of just how you'd like it. Most guys will listen very attentively to this! (If he doesn't, you've got a problem!)
You may also like to try playing with a toy or vibrator and see if that helps you solo. Then you can try introducing it to your play with your boyfriend. Again, most guys are quite happy to do whatever they need to please you!
IIf you're still having trouble, then try relaxing. You may be stressing yourself out about "having to get there" and then tensing up too much. Maybe have a session where you just play, where neither of you have the intention of getting to an O, just making each other hot. You might "slip" and have one!
Above all, have fun! Don't take it too seriously! And enjoy!! There's more to sex than just O's after all, its about connecting from the heart. Now go to it!
2006-11-19 18:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by bluenile08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if u got that presure like u want to come just continue the same position that your doing once u feel it don't stop to switch because that does change things it can take it away it's like starting the prossess over which u don't want to do. or try a position whare he can go deeper. say baby go deeper and he will.
2006-11-19 18:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by eshaymesh124 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for you not to c*m during intercourse, most girls dont c*m during sex. Are you able to c*m when you masturbate? If so next time he gives you oral give him pointers and help him out. It takes an average of 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation for a girl to get off.
2006-11-19 18:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Okole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women cannot achieve orgasm through intercourse. Have you played with your clit whilst having sex? Once you find the right spot, and manipulate it, you will have what you are after.
2006-11-19 18:05:34 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to know how old you are---either you dont' relax enough to enjoy it thoroughly, or you need a partner who will make it happen for you
2006-11-19 18:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by Meme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try other forms of foreplay before sex.
2006-11-19 18:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by gentlgodis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋