self esteem?

Question

when youve had a very poor self esteem most of your life, how do you make yourself feel as good as other people, when your self confidence has been smashed? what does it take?

Answer 1

Most people are not as confident as you may think, meaning you may be misinterpreting they're actions, the only way to be confident is to know your strengths and abilities, your flaws and your weaknesses, and accept them. if you can change something you don't like about yourself such as weight, then choose to lose. if you don't have a Hollywood face, so what, most of us on this planet don't. if your scared to talk just talk anyway, you become better at it, doesn't mean you wont feel apprehensive just means you become better at puting it away when you talk.
If you say somebody took your confadence away, thats because you allowed it. Not everybody in this world will like us, not everybody will be dazzaled by our words, so what, accept yourself first warts and all. besides ever wonder why all those Hollywood type continue to do stupid things? they have it all don't they?

Answer 2

It will take a while before anyone who has suffered with self-esteem issues to build confidence. The important thing is not to let negative comments bring you down as that's how you'll land yourself back in the same position. Little things like holding a door for someone else, smiling at strangers, making small talk with those you see often but don't talk to. Being kind to others (and if they are kind back) will make you realize that you're not worthless and will make you feel good about yourself. Start from there. Go out often. Make friends with only those who will accept you as you are. There ARE some good people in this world.

Answer 3

The first thing you need to do is learn how to love yourself. Tell yourself all your strong points. Actually make a list of what you perceive your faults to be. Is this really how you see yourself or is this the projection of the people around you? Now look deep inside and make a new list of all you see yourself as. For example: I can sing very well. I work hard. I am Honest. I have nice hair. ETC. Every morning get up and be optimistic . Look in the mirror and tell yourself I am somebody important. I am beautiful/handsome, I am special, I deserve respect. Positive thinking can go a long way in improving your self-esteem. It might take a few months but it is well worth it in the end. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Lots of work! Understand that the negative self-talk you hear in your head is not doing you any favours, in fact it's holding you back. That little voice is all the negative stuff you've heard all your life replayed over and over. Just because people said it to you, however, does NOT make it true! People have their own agendas for putting people down and making them feel bad. So many parents have no parenting skills and end up tearing their kids to bits (emotionally) rather than building them up.

List the things you're good at, the things you enjoy. Are you a good listener? A good friend? Are you really good at flipping burgers? WHATEVER it is, it is a skill and something you're good at. Build on these skills, add to your list of things you're good at.

Remember, too, that everyone is equal, everyone has the same rights, you are as good as anyone else! Some people just have different skills. Doesn't make them better.

Read lots and take from the experts only what strikes a chord for you. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think if you try very hard to only allow positive thoughts and when negative thoughts enter your mind then squash them . Tell yourself - "No, not going to allow that" Also, I think to help build self esteem you need to have accomplishments in your life. Do some fun stuff - hiking, exercising, painting, dancing, riding bikes, etc. Also do some more challenging things - enroll in a class, learn something new, join a social group, etc. The more you do, the more confident you will become. Work on yourself, work on surrounding yourself with good people, work on improving your surroundings (your home).

Answer 6

I think that having low self-esteem is very damaging because it feeds on itself. If you don't think you are as good as others, or not good enough to succeed at something, you tend to be afraid to even try, and thus you feel even worse because, since you don't take the chance to be made fun of or to succeed at something, you obviously never will (kind of like you won't win the lottery if you never buy a ticket!).
So the first thing you need to do is conquer your fear of failing, or your fear of looking bad, or your fear of not being good enough. Basically, you need to go beyond your fear, take some calculated chances at first, and then spread your wings a little bit more every time you succeed at something, but never go back into your shell if you experience a small failure.
Once you conquer your fear, you'll realize that "all there is to fear is fear itself," and it will become easier to try, thus increasing your chances to experience success.
Go for it. It's hard at first, but well worth it.
Good luck