i'm trying to write an intro and start off with a story (ancedote)
the sentence is
Every Saturday morning, I would lounge around in my pajamas and my hair looked like a tornado hit it.
THis sentence sounds horrible and i need more descriptive words to describe my hair and it sounds 3rd grade.
please help me
2006-11-19 09:31:46 · 5 answers · asked by ghetto15_21 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Giggle, when I was a lot younger a close friend of my mother's one time, at the peak of frustration over her unruly hair declared "I look as if I'd been pulled backwards through a hedge" I was only about 12 at the time, but I thought that was so funny it somehow got hardwired into my brain and I've often used it myself.
I guess you could say something like ,,"Every Saturday morning, I would lounge around the house in my pyjamas, with my hair looking as if I'd been dragged backwards through a hedge" It's an expression that nobody else will be likely to use because no-one could possibly have thought of it, since it comes from a past age. But it's still pretty darn descriptive, when you think about it .
2006-11-19 09:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, dear. You have a great start. Let's try this:
"Every Saturday morning, I would lounge around in my faded paisley pajamas, and my hair looked as though I'd been through Katrina." Now. This is just a suggestion, but you are on a great start. All best wishes!
2006-11-19 19:24:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every Saturday morning, I would casually lounge around in my favorite comfy pajamas and my crazy hair looked like a destructive tornado hit it.
2006-11-19 17:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Yanks4Life23519 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each Saturday morning, I would wander out of my bedroom, and, seeing no need to change my clothes, would simply lounge around the way I had arrived -- shoes off, hair a tousled fright, faded pajamas intact.
How's that?
-
2006-11-19 17:41:13 · answer #4 · answered by cirque de lune 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
desribe pajamas..color..texture
color of ur hair
tornado isn't the best word choice, it's over used
I'm trying to think of something but it's not working well because I have no clue what your story is about. Your first sentence should automatically draw the readers attention...sry I cant help since I dunno what ur story is about but good luck
2006-11-19 17:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Dink 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋