How do I do this??Advice appreciated...serious answers only pls...?

Question

I've gotton too close to my female friend.I told her how I felt and we decided it wud be best to remain friends.We are so close that she didn't want to risk the friendship,our special bond.We are now on good terms as before my confession.

Said she can’t imagine me not being in\part of her life---this mean anything??

Stuff we do is:
Go to dinner\lunch together,drinks in the evening. We go on roadtrips together to the coast\countryside for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.this happens regularly.We also flirt with each other and we’re in touch practically everyday etc

How do I make sure that we(I) don't get too close to her again???
I don't want to start acting odd or hurt her by a sudden change in behaviour.

Its difficult for me knowing we both fancy each other,but the friendship means more to her.

Anyone be in a similar position??

Advice....

Answer 1

You know it has always been said that you should marry your best friend......but when you start adding things like sex and finances into a perfectly health relationship....things can and usually do change. It creates an added stress that the two of you may have never shared. My suggestion is that you keep your friendship with her..it sounds like it is priceless...keep in your mind always that she is off limits.; That also means that is time for you to maybe start thinking about venturing out and exploring other romantic possibilities. This may be hard for you and her but if you are ready to have that type of relationship in your life you must put yourself out there!!!

I wish you the best of luck..and may your friendship stand the test of time!!!

Answer 2

Ive been in this poisition, I had a very close male friend, we shared our secrets, drank together, took our dogs out, I slept over at his place, in his bed, but nothing ever happened.

I did confess that I had strong feelings for him, sexual ones, but we never acted on it, and he used to gently take the micky out of me for it, but never in a hurtful way, we both agreed not to do anything about it for fear of ruining what we had.

Then one night we both had way too much to drink, watched some porn and the next thing we knew, we were kissing. It only lasted seconds but it changed our friendship forever. There was always an awkwardness about things after that and we drifted apart.

My advice is to stay as you are, people do find it strange that a man and woman can be so close but not be lovers, but its more common than people think, its so great having that person to share your life with, but when its the opposite sex, these things do happen. Stay as you are, and try to keep any strong feelings down, it ruined a fantastic friendship that I had for 15 years, it changed so suddenly and quickly and it hurt a lot.

If you have found a special person you can call your true friend, it doesnt matter if its the opposite sex, dont ruin it by acting on things that could change both your lives in a way you dont want.

xx

Answer 3

if you want to make a friend that could possibly turn into a more serious thing then bring her into your circle and ask your friend what she thinks. being involved wioth someone else may make it easier then just trying not to mess up.

try do things with her with other people, make it less datish. find someone you have very common interests with and maybe expand your circle and interests. having a broader friend range may make it so she is still close to you but you have friends that make it okay to be as close ot her as you want just not intimately. have a gang of pals you meet with often and it may not seem so like it should be more than it is.

make sure you do it at a pace she will be comfortable and the people are understanding of the situation. avoid those moment you are jsut not talking and think about kissng her or waht you were wanting to do jsut smile and offer to go do something for her or with her. make the awkwardness non-exisitant.

keep the flow going but notin a direction that will make you think about it later and wonder if it was right and respectful. she is your friend, that is the best you can have so make the most of it.

Answer 4

Well from what i know, you can't really control what you feel about someone. If you're attracted to her and see her as a potential partner then how can you act like before when you were just friends? You wouldn't be honest to the way you feel. That will propably make you feel resentful towards her at some point. It's very natural for you to feel hurt (even though it's not her fault) and to want to take some time off from your friendship. It's sad but can you pretend that nothing's changed? To answer your question, i think you need time away from each other.

Answer 5

All of this seems very familar.

IF your wanting a relationship with a "woman", then if I were you, I'd be doing some serious looking elsewhere.

It's nice when you and a close friend enjoy the same things, but should you be throwing away your need for more? NO!

You were honest, told her how you felt. She rather just be friends. SO, that is telling you that your even wasteing your time "worrying" if some how her feelings get hurt if you start on the road of finding a woman who wants you for ALL of you........not just the road trips, dinner and wine!

You don't have to hurt her. You just have to be man enough to go out there and find what it is your really desiring!!

Go for it!!

Answer 6

She dont want to loose you, however she knows she cant have you either, See when you stay a females friend "to long" you wont have a chance in being in a commited relationship cause if anything happens like a break up than she looses you and you loose her also. The best way to go about this is just know that she is your best best friend eventually she may open up more to you and become more than just friends but she dont want to let go of the friendship. continue to keep in contact with her as often as possible and continue to do things with her as often as possible she may change her mind on things. Good Luck

Answer 7

I had a four year friendship with a female friend, another mother at the school my kids attended... I was divorced she was married and bisexual...

I valued her friendship very much... then she told me she was in love with me (this was back in 1973) she asked how I would feel if she made a pass... I suggested if she tried, she'd go through the nearest f...ing window.

Told her I didn't care what her leanings were, as long as they didn't lean my way. That I was happy to stay friends, but she wasn't. She never returned again. I went to see her to try and patch things up and mentioned the incident, which she pretended not to recall. We never met again.

I suggest, if your friend says 'only friends'... you keep it that way!

Answer 8

It sounds to me as if you are already more than friends. Why not keep on this way? In my own life, I had something similar happen. After a while, I couldn't imagine life without him in it. Twenty years and two beautiful daughters later and he is STILL my best friend.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Been there and done that but it ended badly we haven't spoken since July and he said it hurt thim too much to see me w/ someone else... so to "HEAL" he thought time apart was best and so i hven't tried contacting him we go to same church so its kinda awkward, but he asked for time apart and space so i gave it! Hope u can avoid this WE were close friends and i miss the time we spent together, but after time the hurt does disappear

Answer 10

It depends on the seriousness. If the person who was run over was in mortal danger, the ambulance is obliged to help, or at least give first aid to see he/she doesn't die. If possible, leave one person administering first aid to the victim of the accident, and let the others carry on with the ambulance to save the other person. Question starred.