Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, verbally abusive, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and devoted to his wife and children, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

I look forward to your serious and well-thought-out answers.

Answer 1

I completely understand what you're going through. My husband experienced the same thing before we met. He was the intelligent, nice guy that always got turned down. To be honest with you, women who can't see that you're romantic, intelligent and honest are stupid women. I don't want to brag, but I'm a really attractive woman and when I first met my husband, I was attracted to his intelligence, good character and hard work ethic. I love that in a man. I always asked myself, what kind of a stupid girl would let go of such a catch? Lucky for me, there are stupid girls out there and I have an intelligent, romantic considerate man. Now, my husband is known as the nice guy with the hot wife. Don't get me wrong, my husband is attractive, but some woman were always turned off by his intelligence. Oh, stupid girls. :)

Trust me, you'll end up with a hot, intelligent woman who will be able to see the qualities in you that every healthy, mature, happy, functional relationship needs. Good luck!

Answer 2

I am one of those rare women then. I want a man who has integrity, cares, loves, and has respect for others. He is not going to stay around long if I find out he is lazy. I don't want someone who I want to change. I want someone who doesn't need to change. A man who is actually a man and not a sit-at-home, drink beer, waste money, disrespectful, cussing idiot. A temper, cussing, fighting (for bad reasons), cheating (in any form or fashion), and just about any bad behavior would get a man knocked from my list. That guy described in your 2nd paragraph "On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and devoted to his wife and children, is seen as "boring" and "too nice". " is exactly what I am looking for. They are rare where I live and I look forward to meeting a man like that.

Answer 3

I think their is alot of women in the world that would rather have a man of integrity than a bum.. I know where you are coming from though because i see it everyday with some women i work with. but i feel that they have low self esteem and feel they can do no better. When I see a man devoted to his wife and family I think of how lucky the wife is to have found a man like that. A good man is very hard to find..

Answer 4

The women you have met before probabaly werent real women beacause like Alicia keys said "A real woman Knows a real man when she sees him".And that is true.Many women want good quality men you just havent met the right person yet to see the goodness or ur best qualities deep down yet.When you do you will see how releiving that is.And trust me the wait for someone like that sometimes seems forever.The weakness most women have is that they so easily fall the man who tells them what they want to hear and the "rude boys" normally know how to give that to them then turns around and illtreats them.So dont feel threatened or frustrated that most girls like the edge fellas you obviously are on a whole diffrent level therefore look for the special woman that is out there that is on your level.You know it is harder to find a trustworthy man than a thrustworthy woman keep that in mind.

Answer 5

Bingo! your right, to be a real person in control is boring, have you ever been aggravated by some jerk who does the speed limit? they are doing exactly what they are suppose to be doing, they are predictable, the speedy person want to go,go,go! however why do you wish to have a shallow woman maybe another question you can ask yourself. I have been told by several guys that the "I've been to prison before" line has worked wonders for their sex life, sigh. seems to me that your aim may be off, look at the woman that your going after and see if they have traits of others you wanted then analyze why you desire them, 99% of the time the answer is within ourselves, we have just got to be open to it and accept it even when we find flaws in ourselves, it is tougher to get a confident self supporting woman, why? they don't need to put up with a mans "bad habits", and they are gonna make damn sure your a quality man (most of the time), also take into consideration (if your in America) or another modern country, most people in these countries tend to be self serving hedonistic types, Try seeking a woman in a third world country if you still want the upper hand.

Answer 6

It may seem that nice guys always finish last, but this is not true. We all fall in lust with the bad boys and so when you see gurls all over them that is what is driving that relationship. But the guy that she glances at ever few seconds and smiles, he's the one she really loves and he's you! He's nice and ordinary, these are the ones we marry, because they make us feel like a queen, but it is a twisted cycle where the nice guys don't think they have a chance this makes them seem unavailable, this scares off women, and so we think you aren't out there and you think we aren't even looking.

Answer 7

i think a lot of women have to go through a few assholes to appreciate nice guys. some women i think perceive a tough jerk as strong, some women may have fathers who were assholes and so they look for a man who resembles their father, some might just have bad self-esteems in general. some women just need to get there life together and figure out what they REALLY want before they're ready to look for such qualities in a man.

Answer 8

I think it has to do with maturity. When I was in high school and college, I liked the bad boys. However, when you get older and start to think about the future, you realize that you do not want someone who needs to be treated like a child.

Answer 9

matters to me

Answer 10

All I read was: BlTCH, BlTCH, MOAN BlTCH, BlTCH, MOAN...

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