I am looking for some advice. I am 22, female, and live very happily with my boyfriend, 21,. He owns and opperates several import and export businesses with his father. We live very well and have a hugh family and lots of friends. My boyfriend works very hard and is always extremly busy with clients and meetings ect.
Recently I have discovered that my boyfriend is on a very high medication of stress and depression relief tablets.I honestly did not know there was a problem. Every time I mention it he refuses to talk about it and it causes a row.
2006-11-19 07:38:02 · 5 answers · asked by mip_010 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
A man close to me used to work on a very successful business (actually businesses) closely with his father. In his early 20's he was living the high life, with a nice convertible, a great place of his own, the whole bit. He would have said his life was great. But he worked 60-100 hours a week.
It took interventions by friends, a failure of the business (largely due to a major customer failing to pay hundreds of thousands they owed), and the stress of a related personal bankruptcy (since he'd cosigned a loan for business purposes), before he stepped back and re-evaluated his life. He picked a different path to work toward, made some sacrifices to get there, but also learned to create healthy work/life boundaries, and to respect them. His wife helped.
Now in his 30's, he's happily married, works five days a week and NO MORE, has two kids and a home, and really does love his life, with far less stress.
But I'm convinced it was that few years of intense, sustained stress that caused some of his health concerns. For example, in his twenties he developed anaphylactic (i.e. potentially deadly) allergies to some foods he'd always loved. And he gained a chunk of weight that he didn't lose until he'd lost the business, his first home, his vehicle, and the related responsibilities. (He lost the excess weight after he found a healthy work-life balance.) *If I were your boyfriend, I'd invest in a good health insurance plan NOW and stick with it, because stress can lead to a number of the very kind of health factors that may disqualify him from plans or cause much higher rates, later.
Maybe your boyfriend would be on the antidepressants with or without the demands of this job. That's a neurobiochemical condition in many cases. It can be affected by external factors, but can also exist independently of them.
But the 'STRESS' is something I'd take seriously if I were him.
I would guess that he - consciously or subconsciously - measures his personal value in terms of one of these things: his self-image as a good "provider", financial success, material gains, or his ability to help/please his father. If, when you bring up your concerns, he perceives you as attacking these values, or failing to appreciate and respect his efforts, you WILL be met with resistance, and fights will ensue.
You need to take a different tack, and do everything you can to support his health, out of concern for him. It's also more than fair to ask him to put time into your relationship, and into his own health (working out, etc.) as an investment in the future. In the end, jobs can be replaced. Health is everyone's greatest asset, and it's not replaceable. Supportive relationships are also an immeasurable and often-underassessed asset.
Good luck.
2006-11-19 08:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by ladyfraser04 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you should sit him down and talk to him if he still doesn't listen, ask him to take a day off, and just you two go off somwhere for a day or a weekend and relax, and jsut enjoy.. that way maybe he will feel a lil relaxed and see that he can trust you.. and will tell you. I think he is just scared to tell anyone, becasue he just doesn't want to be seen asa loser in front ot anyone. Good Luck
2006-11-19 07:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by ohhh lalalala 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is his problem. Don't force him to talk about it but keep an eye out for odd behaviours. If you want to marry him, make sure you talk about it beforehand because you will have to live with it. If it is a genetic problem or a lifestyle problem, it may be passed on to your kids.
Good Luck.
2006-11-19 07:44:30 · answer #3 · answered by Amy d 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think that u need 2 try talkin to him ond dont bring the problem topic ask him abt his buissenes and try to be open with him talk 2 him abt u r problems[if u have any].and then get 2 his problem
2006-11-19 07:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by cuck002003 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
eat a donut.
2006-11-19 07:47:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋