My husband has never liked my friend (male), and my friend has never liked my husband. They actually hate eachother's guts. But it seems like my husband doesn't want me to ever talk with him again, and my friend tries to encourage me to lie to my husband about our friendship.
I love my husband, I just don't want to be one of those women that loses their friends after they get married.
what do you think?
2006-11-19 07:33:32 · 37 answers · asked by 2pretty4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that your hubby should respect the fact that you did have friends before you met him. Trust me you'll regret it if you start giving up your friends. That's one thing I really really regret. Now my hubby is in the navy and I get to hear about how he went drinking with his navy friends. Meanwhile I'm stuck at home with a 3 yr old and pregnant with practically no one to talk to, not to mention I can't even remember the last time I went out with out him or our son. Since my hubby didn't approve of any of my friends, I lost practically all of them.
To all of those that replied to "respect your husband and get rid of your friends" and what not BITE ME !
2006-11-19 07:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In truth you shouldn't lie to your husband. There should be complete honesty and lots of communication. If you keep lieing to him about you going behind his back about this friend then you won't have to make a decision because he just might for you.
On the other hand your husband should also be your best friend. Have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Ask him if he feels threatened by him? Did you have an intimiate relationship with this other friend in the past? If so maybe your husband is naturally defensive, scared he's going to lose you and maybe a little jealous. Another thing is your other friend shouldn't be encouraging you to lie to your husband. I could understand why your husband would be upset about that. Then it seems like you are hiding more than just a friendship.
Be careful and do a lot of talking with your husband. Communication & honesty is key here.
2006-11-19 07:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by janet_67_1998 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made your choice the second you agreed to marry him and reinforced it with your wedding vows to honor and cherish and forsake all others. You made a committment to your husband and not your friend. True you will always have friends, both male and female, and he has to trust your judgement of both. but a true friend knowing the problems between him and your husband, should never ever tell you to lie to him about your relationship for the day your husband finds out. You just have to decide which one you want to be with and go from there. Good luck
2006-11-19 07:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a control freak. Your bf wants to get in your pants. Your should realize that men don't have just female friends...there is always an agenda. That said, you are prompting your husband's jealous tendencies to come to the surface. If you love your husband, then let this bf go. You shouldn't be willing to listen to a guy who wants you to lie about your friendship to your husband. You can have plenty of girl friends. Otherwise, you weren't ready for marriage and you should go back to just playing the field. Good luck and enjoy!
2006-11-19 08:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just how much of a "friend" is this friend?????
It is normal for a male to protect his mate. Your husband is only doing what his instincts tell him to do and that is to keep OTHER males run off. He doesn't want to "share" you. Neither would I. Respect that.
As far as your friend goes, he is trying hard to come between you and your husband. IF you love your husband, put the "friend" on the road since he is NOT really your friend.
You know what is the right thing to do, so do it!!! Your husband is right in NOT allowing this predator to hang around you. Friend or no friend he is hoping for some rewards IF he isn't getting them already. Straighten YOUR act up and get your head screwed on straight. Good luck. Pops
2006-11-19 07:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by Pops 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Would a true friend ask you to lie to your husband? Or is he being selfish to satisfy his own ego. And what is his motivation to ask you to lie?
Why lie, tell you husband that this guy is your friend and you will talk with him, just don't rub it in your husband's face, since they dislike each other so intensely.
Marriage changes alot of things, did you husband forfeit female friends after the marriage? If yes, should he expect you to do the same?
You may have to utimately decide which is most important to you, marriage or friendship.
2006-11-19 07:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by jack w 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well if your friend has encouraged you to lie to your husband then it's quite clear. Your loyalty ought to be to your husband. If he were wanting to stop you seeing any of your friends that would be one thing, but if he is uncomfortable with this particular friend, then I think you should respect his feelings and end the friendship or distance yourself from the man. If you really feel you would prefer not to give up the friendship then try to talk to your husband about it and make sure he knows you love him. Be prepared to offer genuinely to give up the friendship if it distresses your husband, but maybe he would agree to a period of grace for you to try to make the friendship work. But when you are married you do put your spouse first within reason, and as your husband has such strong feelings about it, in your place I would respect that and end the friendship. It would show your husband how much you care about his feelings. If my partner felt threatened or uncomfortable with a situation like this, I wouldn't hesitate to put him first, he means that much to me.
2006-11-19 08:04:02 · answer #7 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to decide between my husband and my friend.?
2014-12-15 23:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have taken vows infront of god and family to love and honor your husband until death do you part. If this is a problem for you then you should have stayed single tell your friend that you cannot be his friend any more and thats that. Your marriage is a sacred bond a friendship with another guy is wrong.
2006-11-19 07:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband comes first. Your friend is not acting in your best interest trying to get you to lie to your spouse, that's just evil. You must have other friends. As you progress thru life many people will come and go, but your husband will be your rock. It's very unfair of your so called friend to put you in this position. It almost sounds like he may want to be more than your friend. Be careful my friend.
2006-11-19 07:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by crkristy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋