If theres a problem in your relationship, Do you look at yourself to see if you did anything wrong to create it, or do you jump right on the other person and blame them. Whats your best advice on this subject.
2006-11-19 06:55:47 · 9 answers · asked by wildcat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes it is the hardest thing to do to look at your own faults and admit them. Especially out loud and to the one you are having problems with. But it is important to any real issues that you step back and take an objective look at the whole picture. It does you nor him any good to try to lie about your part in the problem. If you have a hard time looking objectively on your own then find a friend that is a good enough friend to tell it to you like it is. Not one that will tell you what you want to hear or what they think you want to hear but will tell you straight up. Be sure to tell the the WHOLE truth leaving nothing out (not even the parts you hate to admit you did) and see what they say. Usually though when a person is asking for advise they already know the right thing to do......they just don't want to face it and are in hopes that someone will give them a way out. Face your issues head on and honestly and you will have far more success in your relationships. If it is really your fault then admit it and apologize.
Good Luck
2006-11-19 07:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by Mikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first (internal) reaction is to blame others. So I take a time out. Take a walk with my dogs, or get away from the situation. I have a conversation with myself. Sometimes I pray. I drive a lot in my job so I have a lot of time to reflect on my role and my wants and needs. Usually I can see my part of the problem. Most of the time I apologize when I am wrong. Most things are not that important that they require fighting over. A case in point is some trivia about who sang what song. Who cares, really? I find I do not have to be right all the time as I used to feel I had to be. Gotta pick my battles if I want to win the war- meaning be content and relatively at peace with myself.
2006-11-19 07:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do look at myself and also try and get opinions from my friends that I can trust to be honest with me. We should not blame first. Neither men and women are perfect we all come into relationships with baggage and that affects how we see the other person. If we are open minded enough we look at the problem and try to determine and/or if the problem is within us and our thinking. Then you can try and solve the problem with the person you are in a relationship with.
2006-11-19 07:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by kymmieb112 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I do both. Usually there's a reason why I'm upset. So first thing I do is I look at my boyfriend. Then I look at myself to see why I would be upset in the first place.
If there is a bad problem, you two should talk about it. If you feel that it's your fault after you really look at yourself, apologize to him. If you feel like it's his fault, let him know how you feel about it.
When it's a small problem, I just usually let it go... because I don't want to stir up even more trouble and make a petty problem into a BIG problem.
2006-11-19 06:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do!! (raises hand) I brought in a lot of emotional baggage, and also expected him to be a better person, in spite him being addicted to Mary Jane when the kids came along. You can't try to change someone and you shouldn't. I did cause I was afraid my kids would be abused like I was growing up. Its my fault. My expectations were all screwed up,
2006-11-19 10:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the following day think of roughly what you only wrote now for the time of the whole day. you will in all probability capture your self being a "infant". as for the controlling area, think of roughly what you say or do earlier you atually do it. attempt to easily cruise and enable issues bypass, like once you don't get what you have chose only enable it bypass, simply by fact it relatively is not a huge deal. once you get a small difficulty and you will turn it right into a huge one, think of only CRUISE. it relatively is not a huge deal. in case you get into the habit of letting little issues bypass that don't rely it is going to start to come back certainly. besides the undeniable fact that, do not exchange into so "cruise" that your lady chum starts off to stroll over you given which you enable the little issues slide. goodluck
2016-10-22 09:07:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best answer I could provide is take time to not only evauate yourself but your partner as well. You have to realized that you both contributed some way right? Everytime something goes wrong for me a well, I take time to not only evaluate myself, but my honey too. Sometimes, solutions can come about. Take care.
A.L.
2006-11-19 07:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by Angelus L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I look at myself in any situation that comes up. It starts with self first. Sometimes we need to evaluate our inner self and bring out the childhood past that leads to what happens in our adult years. Great Question
2006-11-19 07:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when it happens i go right to myself asking what i did wrong i dont go to other person
2006-11-19 07:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by kelcihrn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋