and that i would never kick her out or turn her away( like her dad did 6 months ago). And now she's using it against me. She texted me at 11:30 and said she was staying at "friends" and would be home the next night. I told her "NO-you need to come home", she didn't" said" what ever, I love you mom- BYE!!!" what do i do now???? I have talked till im blue in the face, She is skipping school, getting all kind of detentions. I think she's smoking weed, she lie's all the time, steals from me. I don't know what to do with this girl. I have 18 &19 yr old boys that didn't push it as much as she is. But now they have more freedom and she acts like she should be given the same freedom. HELP!!!!!
2006-11-19 06:19:47 · 4 answers · asked by dreamteam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hello, It would be beneficial for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about her dad. Please for her sake, try to understand her point of view about her dad, he may have mistreated you and her, but ultimately he is her dad, and she may be struggling with abandonment issues, and hurting so much that she is self sabotaging your relationship with her, to prove to herself that no one cares, and that everyone is unrealiable.
It is confusing for her but if you can not portray your negatity about your ex, or that situation, and try to remain nuetral... allow her to talk to you about her feelings , she'll gain respect for you and will listen to your rules in time.
It is clear that she is trying to manipulate you, and she may be playing on your heart strings, " Mom won't do anything, cuz she doesn't want to loose me."
It is hard as a mother, because we are not portrayed as authoritative, but you need to stand your ground no matter how much she laments, and cries, hollars... don't give in. If she doesn't do something she needs to be shown that there are consequences to her negative actions.
Ask who her friends are, and when they come over, quiz them, ask them " so where do you live? what does your mom and dad do? " Chat them up in a friendly manner so she doesn't realize it's the third degree, and her friends will say " Hey your mom is cool!" They'll want to hang at your house, and you'll be able to keep a better eye on her.
2006-11-19 07:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She thinks she doesn't have to answer to you .She thinks she is the boss and you are nothing .Put some serious restrictions on her and make her obey . She is NOT the boss and you are . Make her life miserable until she does what you ask . If she is smoking weed tell her she is going in to be tested for it and if she is you will find out . Make her go to rehab . You are the boss and she needs to know it .She doesn't want to make a fatal mistake while she is under the influence of drugs and it's up to you to make sure that doesn't happen . Good luck . ITS CALLED TOUGH LOVE!
2006-11-19 06:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is doing drugs, she is very much so manipulating you. If you continue to provide her food shelter and necessities you are inabling her to be destructive to herself. If she is underage i would suggest getting her into a rehab forcibly. The best thing to do as a parent is prepare her for the real world, and the real world wouldnt accept this kind of behavoir.
2006-11-19 06:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by xchy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is testing how far she can go. be firm with her, if she does this again, you go and pick her up at her friends and bring her home. yes it is alot of trouble for you, but it is necessary. find things she likes to do, movie, going out to eat, new jeans, etc....on the condition that she goes to school regularly and gets good grades. if she is doing pot, get her to a good rehab program, and she should see a therapist to help her work out any issues she has.
2006-11-19 06:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by crafty lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋