Why are YOU the WAY you are?

Question

ie. If you are "shy"... why are you shy? If you are "always angry"... why are you always angry? If you are _______ , why are you that way? In other words, what do you think causes people to develop certain personality traits?

Answer 1

HI! coinlight65 here, usually you are the way you are because of #1 reason your mom and dad, and your linage, then from the time you are a little one, you pick up certain traits from your friends, people you admire, things that happen to you in school, things that even happen to others will influence your attitude and your personality, you are pretty much the sum of all these things. Sometimes good and some times not so good.but the really good thing is anyone can change..if there is no medical reason, a lot of things in our life we can change just as we picked them up. like smoking..you can quit it is very hard to do so but it can be done,it is a habit learned since childhood usually so is the way we percieve our selves,we have all learned to do things a certain way some we have been taught by other people and are very hard to get rid of but if they are bad things, like being angry ,or shy or whatever.. the first thing is to recognise it and then change it no matter what. practice make perfect...hope this helps.. good day

Answer 2

Shy is equivacable with introvertedness, typically. It essentially means that a person needs to have some amount of time alone, all by themselves.

As for anger, that isn't so much a personality trait as a mood.

There are tons of theories on personality and why people are the way they are. I tend to gravitate more towards behaviorism and interactionism.

Behaviorism is that people act based on what they are not admonished for. For example, if I throw my dirty clothes on the floor all the time and someone (let's say a partner) wants to change my behavior, instead of admonishing me for never picking up after myself, my partner should reward me when I DO pick up after myself. So, if a person is shy it COULD be rooted back to maybe being a kind of rambunctious child when they were rewarded for being quiet.

Interactionism is dependent from situation to situation. Maybe someone might be shy when they're around you, but maybe they don't stop talking when they're with someone else, like a sibling or partner.

To expand these ideas, let's take a "masculine" and "feminine" personality trait. On a whole, men are encouraged to be "masculine" which means what? Kind of assertive and tough, right? So, when a man *isn't* assertive and kind of tough, he is admonished and called a pansy or some some other slur which has a root based in male homosexuality. I won't delve too deeply into this tangent, but male homosexuality is often viewed as less than male, which means female or feminine which just speaks to societally, how women are viewed. They are used as an insult to masculinity.

Ok, so, now what is a trait that females and women are encouraged to possess? Quietness, perhaps even submissiveness are things that are encouraged societally among women, right? If a woman is kind of assertive or touch, then she is admonished and thought of as a b*tch.

Those are personality traits which are highly regarded in terms of gender as a way of explaining behaviorism and to an extent interactionism on the large as well as small scale.

Answer 3

it's either by NURTURE os NATURE

It depends onyour environment, your exposure to people and everything. At times, it would also depend on your genes..


If you are shy, maybe you were raised without or just a little of exposure. If you're angry often, that would depend on other circumstances like the food you eat, the weather condition, your present feelings, etc...

We develop traits usually by our exposure. Take the children as an example. Our childrean can be good ones and can be as obedient as possible inside the house because we teach them to be like that but once they're out, they may be influenced with the way other people act... With that, they tend to copy other personalities and they tend to become stubborn, etc...

Answer 4

it all goes back to your childhood! It is a learned behavior, Children are born to be happy, but they are constantly exposed to various situations in life, and they are taught behaviors, they are appreciated when they obey parents, and hence to get parental acceptance they obey them, Kids are dependent on adults for every thing, and approval is what they constantly seek in order to be loved and accepted.
Parents or care givers play an important part of development in a child. If a parent showes constant angery behavior, kids learn the expression, OR kids in constant deprevation, and frustration can be angry because they cannot verbalize their emotions, hence repressed negative feelings can make an angry person.
Bringing up kids is not a small job, IT is an art, helping kids to constantly talk about their feelings, and dealing with it helps them to feel understood, accepted and safe, Such individuals grow up to be confident people with a good selfesteem.

Answer 5

Some people had lived life in certain way and environmant.
I was shy until 20 years old.when i used to spend time with friends we were drinking and bother people on our way-i was angry-way because i was meeting bad guys and we wanted be free as a teenagers.Than i met my first girlfriend and i change my life and myself.I think that people need goals and they need to believe in themselvs,you have to believe you "can" be diffrent and better.

Answer 6

Being in a household with parents for 18 years has some effect on everyone.

How we see things as we get older is strictly up to us. We can make changes if we see something undesirable in our surroundings.

I am overly happy due to me choosing to be. I come from a household however, of almost bitter people. I choose NOT to live my life like that. Only in my most recent years have I seen my family change to being happy as well.

I know like has many negative things but why not turn them around into positives !!?

Basically I am the way I am for I choose to be. We all get to choose. No one can take that from us! It is up to us!

Answer 7

usually, its from how you grew up, and what your parents were like.. for example if your parents were neglectful or abusive in some way then you might turn out to be a violent or depressed parent in the future..

Answer 8

when I was young I seen alot of fighting now I will not get into a confration I was always walk away sometimes I wonder if thats why

Answer 9

i am happy because i feel like i need to be. people see me a certain way and i feel like i am dissapointing them if im not the way they see me. if one day, im sad or depressed, all i hear is "whats wrong?" or "dont be sad" but, no one genuinely cares.

Answer 10

We are what we are. All is part and parcel of our surrounding, and circumstances. God has created each of us differently, in millions of ways. 'shyness' 'anger' 'happy' 'jolly' 'laughter' etc. is all state of mind at different period of time and circumstances.
Some of that becomes our permanent personality.