What would you do if?

Question

your child came up to you and said mom/dad I hate your guts, would you......
A. Get very upset and yell at them.
B. Spank them and put them in there room.
C. Walk away and ignore there bad behavour.
D. What would you do? If its none of these?

Answer 1

John Rosemund says that if you tell your child they can't do something and they say they hate you, you should just say, "I understand. If I were you I would hate me, too. But you still aren't allowed to climb on the countertops." Then calmly walk away. Kids need time to feel their feelings and feel angry. Arguing with them will just whip them into a bigger frenzy and cause opposition. Unless they're actually breaking the rules or insulting you, you should allow them to hate you. They will get over it faster that way and will probably come back later and say they don't really hate you.

Answer 2

I would have to answer (D) . The best way I found while raising my children, is to :

Stand your ground, face your child, and reply, " Obviously, you are upset about
something. I understand. And you have every right to your feelings and emotions.
But I would like you to remember that I love you very much."

Kids are going to get mad at times, and they usually say the first thing that comes to mind, and apologize later. Starting a fight, or spanking them, will not solve anything. And if you just ignore it and walk away, they are going to feel that you don't care
about them, or their feelings.

Answer 3

None of those, I would let them get all of their anger out and look at them like 'Are you done yet?' Then start off by saying 'Once you calm down, we need to seriously talk.' Let the child take that time noticing what they just said, letting them sit their thinking about what mommy might say, and when talking to the child, I will start off by saying the simple Q's, and get deep into his thoughts of why he just said that to his mommy, and showing them that I love them w/ all my heart and just because they get upset by not having their way all the time, saying you hate someone is not good at all......then make up, kiss, "I love You's' and severe chores for back talking!!!

Answer 4

What zen said.

It is obvious the child is upset and this is the only way he/she can think to express it. It is up to the parent to try to get to the bottom of the problem and help the child talk it out.

THEN, after everything is worked out and the child is calm, you say, "Saying you hate someone is not an acceptable way to express your feelings [adapt wording to the child's age level]. If you are upset, just say, 'I'm upset or angry or however you feel.'"

Answer 5

One: It would depend on their age. A small child I would tell that what they have said is hurtful, and remind them that I love them.
Someone say 7 to 8, I would ask why do you hate me, is it because I won't allow you to do something that I feel would be a bad experience or even dangerous for you to do?
Someone older I would ask why and determine the rest of my answer to whatever the child had to say, I would acknowledge that the child can hate me for what I may say, but not for what I do, they can hate my behavior not me. The child is erring if they feel they hate me as a person, what I do, or what I say they can hate if they feel I have wronged them. But hating me just to hate me is wrong and I will not allow that.

Answer 6

non above
I would explain and tell him/her that this is not appropriate for what a child has to say to his parents,,,, i would talk to him/her as if i am talking to an adult,,, because i believe that childern do understand very well and they are smart...

no yelling,no spanking, no geting upset, no walking away and ignore there bad behaivour,, because it will not help to solve the problem ...just TALK and explain in a way to improve their behaivour

Answer 7

I would have asked them what did you get that phrase from?Then I would tell them calmly not to say that ever again and it is a bad bad bad phrase to say and spank there hand and tell them to go to their room and sit in the corner and think about what they just said!!!

Answer 8

I would say, "It's okay, I still love you and always will." Then I would walk away and let the child think about my words.

I try not to meet anger with anger, but instead counter act the anger with love and caring, especially in the case of children. If shown only anger, then anger prevails, but love conquers all.

Answer 9

none of those ... each choice you gave just gives the child more bad feelings cause you're not even showing them that you care. I would take the child and sit them down and talk to them.

Answer 10

D. I would try to reason w/ them...find out whats going on...I would make them apologize for sure...I would say you don't talk to your mother/me like that ...apologize...but i would follow up by saying what wrong...or what the hel is wrong depending on how bad it was...I would find the underlined problem and try to deal w/ it in a constructive manner...we don't relate to our children...we have others raise our kids or simply tell them to go away in many instances...this is the downfall of modern society...