How can we forgive ourselves??

Question

When you've done something that hurts so bad your own expectations of yourself....
I know if God forgive us and forget our pass, and that is wonderful, but it doesn't really help me much to forgive myself...
it's been years already since something really sad happened to me and still can't forgive myself. That feeling punishes me all my life.
Please, gives me some ideas :(

NO, nothing was done to me, i did something that to me is very unappropiate (not to say bad), not that i killed someone or things like that, but it's something that doesn't go with my values and I feel like a bad person every time i remember that.

Answer 1

Whatever it is that you have done that you keep beating yourself up over, ask yourself "what would I tell someone I love and care about if they were doing the same thing to themselves"...would you say, "forgive yourself...the past is the past...you are a good person over-all and made a mistake" ? Sometimes we have to take a different perspective and treat ourselves (literally love ourselves) as we would treat others. Also, depends on what you feel guilty about I guess....was this something done to YOU (like abuse/victim of a crime/bad relationship) where you are saying to yourself "I shouldn't have let myself get into that situation..why was I so dumb?" or was it a situation where you did something actively to hurt someone? Either way, forgiveness can be very difficult whether it's forgiving yourself or others. If you are struggling with this for so many years, I would say that maybe talking to someone about it...maybe a counselor or an understanding clergy member might help. Ultimately, though, you have control over this and have to work very very hard to get through this. Hate to say it but it's true!
Someone once said to me time is like a surgeon who heals you, but he doesn't use an anesthetic....Good luck and hope you find some peace for yourself.

Answer 2

You sound like a Christian to me since you know that God can forgive you. Have you asked him to forgive you for whatever happened? If you haven't please do that first and while you're praying for forgiveness, BELIEVE that He's forgiving you. Once He forgives you which He will if you're sincere, then let the situation go. Once God forgives you, you need to forgive yourself. If after that, you're still punishing yourself, that's the Devil's way of keeping you chained to feeling bad about yourself.
We have all done things in our past that we wish we could take back or wish we hadn't done, but the past is gone. You can't change it. You can only move on.
God Bless You.

Answer 3

Here are some basic thoughts:
1. We are just humans, we are happiness seekers and sometimes we make bad things believing this will bring us what we are looking for. This, believe or not is the cause of most evil things, it is just a nasty human condition.
2. Use the Mahatma Gandhi method: if you made some evil, try to make the same thing in the positive way, if you killed a kitten now pickup a feral one and give it home as a remembrance of the killed one
3. Again Mahatma: use the time you have of life to help others in any way, teach children, help old people, care for your friends and family as a " payment " for you have done. In one word, all this time and energy you are using to blame yourself let it be transformed in helping energy.

Answer 4

You aren't alone. Everyone at sometime has done, said or thought something that afterwards was regretted.
Fortunately everyday is a new day in Christ.
As God has forgiven our sins, and has forgotten them as well.
You should give yourself permission to forgive yourself, and try although sometimes difficult to forget them also.
An encouraging and uplifting website for you to visit, and have daily inspirational messages sent to you is www.JoelOsteen.com
Peace be with you

Answer 5

Having demons and trying to get rid of them is a job.
Have you tried to get professional help? This is what I sigest...

Until you can get professional help try not to punish yourself such as a bad relationship, drinking alcohol, drug use doing other things to hurt yourself or punish yourself.
Getting over such things is what put some people in there graves early, go see a professional...

Good luck- make that phone call to that profetional!

Answer 6

God doesn't give a damn. It is we who remember and make life tough for ourselves. When you remember, don't try to push it out of your mind. That just makes the memory stronger. Instead, stay with the memory and the sadness will gradually weaken until it is all gone.

Answer 7

CHANGE OUR WAYS, forgive ourselves, and MOVE On honey!!!! If too bad, get prof help if you can't move on!!

Answer 8

Just let it go. Pretend its in a balloon and let it float away. It will always be there, but let it go out of your mind.