Should I say goodbye?

Question

About 4 years ago I was involved in building up a school of Chinese Medicine. It was a cultish establishment and with time, being a part of it became harder and harder for me. So after long deliberation I decided to leave. Since, I have worked hard to make peace with it all, regain my sense of self, and forgive everyone involved, above all myself. The person who leads this school was an important figure in my life. I have kept up some contact with her but never discussed the reasons for my leaving. It was just a subject that neither of us brought up.
So, a week ago I heard she would be leaving the country and taking up another similar assignment elsewhere. In the beginning I was sure that the best thing for me to do would be just to ignore it completely and let it go. But now I'm beginning to have doubts. I really need full closure in this and I need to forgive her completely. What if failing to say goodbye would leave this period in my life unfinished?

What would you do?

Answer 1

I understand that your reason for deliberating a formal goodbye is something else than wanting to clarify your reason for leaving or hoping an apology. This much can be seen from what you said concerning you working hard at achieving closure. Actually I think that not discussing the reasons for your leaving is a very sound decision in a situation involving a cult. It is obvious to me that you have already achieved peace and closure. So this is the final test.
My question to you is this: why are you considering saying goodbye? Could it be that you want to show her your moral high ground, that you have forgiven and have let go? That you are big enough to shake hands and say goodbye?
Then maybe you should consider this: this could be the last thing that ties you to this woman - you still caring about what she thinks, you wanting to make an impression. I invite you to pass this test and resist the temptation to initiate contact.
Celebrate, reward yourself, buy yourself a present - you deserve it. Not many people make it from a cult with so little damage as you have. You must be a very strong person.
Blessed be!

Answer 2

To be honest, some things are left unresolved/unfinished in our lives for one reason or another. If you feel that full-closure would give you some peace, then feel free but maybe you may want to say goodbye in a more distanced way like writing this woman a letter. Also, am not sure if you feel badly because you want to explain to her why you left to feel there is closure, or for some other reason like maybe you felt she led you astray and you want her to apologize for doing that? In that case, you may not get the satisfaction of hearing what you want to hear/feel like you need to hear from her. Also, it sounds like maybe this woman still has some kind of hold over/connection to you that is difficult to let go. After all, if it was a cultish thing, she is probably a very skilled manipulator.
I would move on and leave the past behind. Regret is useless, and only serves to hold you to the past and cause you pain. Maybe, like I said, even writing a letter that you don't even plan to send would give you some peace.
Good luck, and hope you find that peace.

Answer 3

I would say goodbye, so I could have closure. But it would be on my terms, so I could feel safe and not too vulnerable. For this, it may be over coffee or tea somewhere or lunch somewhere public. But you probably would feel better by saying goodbye...

Answer 4

no, you will get a chance LOrd will give you chance to compensate and excuse her for not sayiing goodbye.
leaving a friend with out any reason ,a solid reason is not good that shows you are not sincere.
so be good and forget behavior ,a bad behavior from your friend side.
right
be good and do good

Answer 5

I'd consider myself lucky to close this chapter in my life. Let the door close and consider yourself lucky to have this behind you. Let it go.

Answer 6

Then you should beacuse later you might think "What if?" and that is never a good feeling.