She's being really mean, degrades her sister, is jealous and even put her money in her sister drawer to make believe the ynunger had stolen it. The truth came out and she apologized and show regret. How to handle this w/ justice, showing thd younger we are fair, but also w/ love, without destroying the 13 yo? We must have some fault in this sad episode.
2006-11-19 04:19:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My sister and I went through a faze of not getting along,and now my own daughters who are 13 nearly 14 and 11,are going through the same faze right now.Although right now,to the outside world it may look bad,but compared to a couple of months ago,it's nothing.I take what happened between my sister and I as 2 people trying to find our own identity's,and with observing my 2 daughters,they are doing the same thing.I now take my daughters and separate outings to spend individual time with each one,and I let them know that they are 2 wonderful individuals.the only thing I can suggest is that you sit back and really observe your daughters ,listen to what they are saying to each other,and what they might not be saying to each other,that way you are aware with what's going on between them,and deal with it accordingly.It won't be alright straight away,but with time and patience it Will all work out fine.Best of luck to you.take care.
2006-11-19 10:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A certain amount of meanness and fighting is normal ("sibling rivalry"). Both girls are too early to understand reasoning, so you MUST set limits on what you'll tolerate and what you won't...then stick to them!
Many parents find this difficult, esp. if one parent "undermines" the other's rules and authority; you and your spouse need to be together in this.
Just sending kids this age to their rooms may work, but not if that's where all their goodies are (TV's, stereos, computers, video games, phones).
But they need consequences, to enforce the rules, so sit them down and say, "Here are the rules. If you break them, here is what will happen. If you are mean to your sister (and be specific about it), you will have your phone privileges (or something else she cares about) revoked for 3 days, or some amt. of time you think is fair. If you do it again, then you lose it for a longer time, or lose another privilege.
When the inevitable hysterical fit comes, remain calm and merely say, "Sorry, but you broke the rules. Now here's the penalty."
If you stick to this, your daughter will soon learn that it's probably more important to her to have her privileges than to be mean to here sister.
One thing I used when taking care of my sister's 3 kids (about that age) who were ALWAYS tormenting one another), was to separate them, putting them in different rooms. The couldn't do anything but homework (which they had to do anyway!). AND, they couldn't come out 'til they apologized to their siblings. If they didn't have homework, I made them write essays on why they should NOT be mean to one another! It made them think and improved their writing skills!
the upshot: when I took care of them, they behaved. When their mother came home, they went wild, since they knew she wouldn't do anything but yell!
2006-11-19 04:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and my sis is 11 and 18 mounths apart from me and i have to say that i am mean alot but i've never framed her for somthing thats kinda weird i would have a seirous chat
2006-11-19 05:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 13 too! just like your daughter. and want to know something funnier. i have a 11 yr old brother. im always mean to my brother (jake) and i get introuble for it alot. but what i found is me and my brother jake have a stronger relationship than the other sibilings have with us. i think it is a good idea to take away privlleges like phone, tv, computer but dont take it away for a long tim cuz then she will just get even more upset.
2006-11-19 04:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister, who is 18mo older then me was just like this. I suggest you supervise them and even keep a sitter when you are not there. As they get older it only gets worse. When my sister was 14 and I was 12 she snuck her boyfriend and his brother in while my parents were out and I was raped.
Perhaps get your older daughter counseling as well.
2006-11-19 04:24:08 · answer #5 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have an 15 and 12 its normal for there age good luck
2006-11-19 04:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Im 14 n mi sis is 9 n i tink mi parents luv her more!!!!!Me da actually addmitted it!!!!!Dar is nutin u can do!!!!!Its just d way life is!!!
2006-11-19 04:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋