Most people do encounter that problem. What myhusband and I do to maintain the spark is to go on a get -away vacation every month. Often just to a nearby town and spend the night (ir 2) in a hotel and go see a movie and out to eat. We cuddle and havea agreat time talking in the car during the travel.
On the weekends also plan a day fo ryou adn him to go out and do something. It will help retain your closeness.
2006-11-19 03:04:53
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answer #1
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answered by Rachel 4
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Coming from a man who was the same way in his marriage here is a word of advice. As you know there is a lot of stress in a marriage so maybe you all need to get away and do something that is out of the norm. In my case, I was working a job with long hours and barely had enough attention for the kids and the wife. I was being drained physically, mentally, and most important of all EMOTIONALLY. My wife would tell me that I was not romantic and that I didn't pay enough attention to her. She was right because the stress of life had taken its toll on me which caused us to grow apart. Eventually we started arguing and we separated and now we are headed for divorce. It shouldn't have been a shock to me because the warning signs were there.
I tell you this because I didn't stop loving my wife. I still love her to this day. So my advice to you is to stop focusing on what you want and figure out if something is going on first. Best way is to come out and ask why he is not affectionate and why the kisses and hugs have stop? Second don't rule out the fact that there may be some underlying mental condition. I am telling you from experience because after my separation I was diagonosed with depression (yes I was depressed during the marriage, not just the separation part). Since my treatment I have a better relationship with my children and though perplexing to my wife, the way I treat her is ten times better. Now naturally she thinks I am doing this to get back with her but I have accepted my responsibility in the failure of our marriage. Many people think seeking professional help is a sign of weakness but truly it helped me. So my point is that though it may be hard to convince him but that might be an area to explore. Whatever you do don't make this the make it or break it issue. Men all over the world go through being put on the back burners when kids are born. Little selfish but during those years I missed the attention that I received prior to the children. But you learn to accept it as a man.
I can go on and on about this subject but the truth is you may also want to look into your own insecurities. My guess is your husband loves you dearly. Just life and consequenses may have taken hold. What you feel is important may not be as important at this time to him. But don't doubt him when it comes to loving you because I'd imagine that he does.
Good Luck
2006-11-19 03:37:27
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Hmm... maybe you guys should plan out something that you both enjoy doing. Or, once in a while, sit back and relax with him, and chat like old friends, talk about the "...remember the time when.." stuff. My husband and I love going on road trips and vacations, it helps to bring us together and 'refresh' our love. He's a very busy man, so when we do spend time together, it's the best feeling in the world. YOU show him some love and affection. It takes both hands to clap. If you have been doing so, and you are 100% sure he's the problem, sit down and talk it through with him. Discuss with him what you both can do. Don't keep it to yourself and sit at the corner alone, sulking. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Good luck! ;)
2006-11-19 03:08:54
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answer #3
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answered by Hanna 6
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Was he affectionate before or has he always been that way? If he's always been this way then unfortunately he probably won't change and as women we have a tendency to think that after we marry them then they'll change because that's what we want. YOu're looking at a man who came from a family that wasn;t affectionate and so that's just him. If not then you should probably try counseling. My husband and I did and it made a world of difference in our marriage. good luck. I would love to know how things go so if you want then hit me up on my yahoo email. You will be in my thoughts.
2006-11-19 03:45:42
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answer #4
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answered by You know who i am 2
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You screwed up in some distinctive aspects. you acquire sexually in touch earlier marriage, and so did not have your eyes extensive open to his character. between the failings approximately marriage is that when you marry somebody, you're determining on the set of issues you may have for something of your life - the places the place your characters conflict. Now, he's pleased with having his childrens there, yet not yours. so which you be attentive to he's egocentric approximately his family members and needed you all to himself without the difficulty of your daughter. difficulty is, you have a daughter, and not basically area time. the different difficulty I see is his loss of affection and care, yet unfastened willingness to tell her what she is doing incorrect. I grew up like that, and that i'm right here to tell you it SUCKED. i'm 40 3 years old, and that i've got forgiven my ex-stepfather, yet i've got not got a relationship with him, simply by fact I definitely tend to not seek for the corporate of manipulative, controlling *asses who have not got any compassion for little females whose families are torn aside. If this describes the guy you have married, then decrease your losses desirable now. If that's what you have chose, I quite propose which you're taking an quite long harm from relationship and actual from intercourse. you do not have the skill to choose on properly as shown by utilising 2 failed marriages. you apart from mght will prefer some guided scientific care that might assist you be attentive to a thank you to choose on a stable mate and which you're worth of one. besides the undeniable fact that, your husband won't be a manipulative, controlling ****. He ought to easily be a individual who would not improve relationships on the drop of a hat. you have been married all of two weeks and don't understand why they have not got a relationship yet? She isn't you. She hasn't been coming up a relationship with him on a similar time as you 2 have been relationship and having intercourse. yet i'm not inspired along with his reaction on your request. you're her mom and it is your activity to guard her from extreme complaint. My mom failed at that. You had greater valuable not. some scientific care ought to enable you to 2 - who does not prefer it, regardless of each thing, to mixture 2 separate families?
2016-10-22 08:51:41
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I have the same problem. As someone already said it is probably depression or stress. It is really hard to know what to do when a loved one pulls away. I hope you get some answers that help. I could use some good answers also. Good Luck
2006-11-19 03:56:00
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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This is unfortunately is all to comman in marriages...you just need to concentrate on the little things more...people get to comfortable with the everyday routine of relationships and have a tendency to forget....Make a date with your husband by a new little black dress with matching shoes and go out on the town...
2006-11-19 03:07:26
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answer #7
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answered by Mechelle 3
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do you have kids? Is that the problem? I have the same problem too after i have a daughter....now that she's nine years old.....she even have the commen sense to tell his dad to kiss mommy.....without the kissing and hugging.....sex is still alright for us......just as long as he doesn't have any other women.....is ok.....good luck
2006-11-19 03:20:28
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Try flirting! Send him suggestive e-mail,text messages and notes! I have said this 100 times! Sex doesn't start in the bed room it starts way before that! Remember the fun, flirty ways you both were when you first started dating, try it, you'll like it I promise!
2006-11-19 03:11:28
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answer #9
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answered by kelley1031 2
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Are you completely satisfying all his sexual fantasies & desires ?
Does he have a mistress ?
2006-11-19 03:03:44
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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